Wow...where do I start. I met a man two years ago, and we fell very quickly into love. Last year I moved to Canada to be with him, where I got no support, paid the bills, and listened to one excuse after the other as to why I was doing all of the work. I sacrificed everything, only to get resentment for being "stressed" and making the move "his problem too." He lied to me about everything, from dating a Provincial Minister, to his past jobs, experiences, travels, etc. right down to what he would eat for lunch each day. Some of these lies were totally insignificant, some were devastating. Either way, these lies would usually come without any need or reason for them. Yet each time I caught him, he would grow furious, and would leave our house for hours to cool off. When he came back, I'd end up apologizing for accusing him and being so insecure, I even sought therapy for my insecurity issues he convinved me I had. Things ended abrubtly, now I feel like a fool. I know he cheated on me, along with many other lies I knew were true all along, all of which I have physical proof of. He convinces me to this day that it's all me, my insecurity, etc. and won't admit to any guilt. He shows no remorse. It's been 5 months since we broke up, yet each day I feel I am losing my own sanity, feeling this is all my fault! He has twisted my entire world around, and even after breaking up, I am riddled with unbearable guilt, and I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm sick of second guessing myself. Why can't I just be confident that I did the best I could, that my suspicions were all correct, and that I deserve so much better? I used to be confident and happy, I want my sanity back. Help!

Sounds like your ex was a complete lunatic. Why would anyone let somebody like that suck themselves into their world? Every time I meet a compulsive liar I run for the hills. Don't let someone else's insecurities become your own. Be happy you got rid of the nutcase.

You are not alone. This situation happened to me, only with the person I had married and had a large family with. After years of lies and confrontations with the evidence in hand, he never showed that he was sorry for hurting anyone else. He does show he is sorry for himself suffering the natural consequences of lying. Sometimes my friends suggest that it is possible that he isn't really lying and that I am overly suspicious. If I talk to him, he sounds completely normal and presents the same old string of lies to excuse his behavior. It is very easy for partners to doubt themselves. This type of lying isn't something that has drawn much attention in the media as some other personal issues have. I developed a 'rule' for myself, when what I see or hear is out of harmony with my gut, I go with my gut. When you second guess yourself it isn't usually based on the facts but previous conditioning. Review the facts, settle your mind and keep moving on. It is hardly relevent that one lie or the other is proven false. The fact is that the trust is lost and once trust is broken it is very difficult to regain.