My girlfriend of one year now has been lying to me on a few occasions.

The first occasion was when I found out she constantly visited her ex boyfriends myspace, It wasn't such a big deal at the time. I just just asked her about it and let her know it made me feel sort of uncomfortable.

No big deal until I found her doing the same thing the next week I saw her. It was obvious she was looking at it, it wasn't hard to see that it was visited more then a few times.
Still not to big of a deal I talked to her about it and she agreed that she shouldn't be lurking his page or telling me something that she isn't going to do.

A third time occurs. I must admit this time I went into her internet history and looked for what I knew was there. I realize that being this curious is almost no better then her being curious of knowing what her ex boyfriend is doing.

I told her about it and told her I was going to breakup with her because I felt the trust was breaking apart, she cant even keep a simple promise to respect me enough to not wonder what her ex is doing. She wanted to fix the problem and said she doesn't even realize she does it. she deleted her myspace to prevent her from being tempted in any other form.

Months fly by and now she wanted another myspace, even tho I was hesitant at first I agreed, I shouldn't be anyone to hold her back from occupying her time the way she wants to. I believed she wouldnt make the same mistake twice and I wasnt going to go searching for it.

While it isnt the exact same problem that has occured as before its somewhat simular.

She's been talking on myspace to this guy she had sex with once here and there(and point me out if im wrong but I was hurt and confused by this)
I confronted her about it, told her it wasnt such a big deal. I mean, dont be rude to the guy and just ignore him. just dont pursue conversation with him, I find it kind of weird(would you want me talking to some girl I had sex with before?)

She agrees and understands that there is a line that sometimes shouldnt be crossed if it makes the significant other a bit hesitant.

So tonight rolls around and we start talking about several things and I ask if shes talked to that guy lately and she bluntly says no. just to her girlfriends.
I find out from an inside source that they have been talking randomly here and there. So i tell her I know whats up and she shouldn't be lying and she should feel comfortable talking to me about that sort of thing(id like to think that even if i got a bit uneasy from her telling me it would be far better then lying to me and me finding out)

she admits she talked to him a little and it was nothing more then a happy birthday. So I dig deeper(because i know when my girlfriend is lieing most of the time and she defiantly was) find out it was a much longer convo but it was all harmless stuff(she let me read it)

I felt alot better knowing it wasnt that much of chat. until I noticed her filled message trash bin. which had several (alot) more messages from this guy. none of them really being flirtatious but one of them caught my eye, it said something around the lines of "i want you in a bikini and a bottle of wine for my birthday" her reply was "me in a bikini is no bueno"(i dont know what to think when she said that so I ignore it)

I ask her about the messages in the trash bin and she denys they are there until i proved to her that they are.

I ask her if he said anything creepy to her or anything sexual and she said no, until I asked about the bikini thing. then she just didnt want to answer my questions anymore.

I can understand her being upset but she seemed to get really angry, saying im looking for things to find wrong with her. That im insecure. She doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about that kind of stuff because she knows ill get upset about it. ect. ect.

I understand her points of view and I could be more trusting in her, i love this girl to death, she is amazing. But now I find myself asking why should I trust her, she hasn't given me reason to in any of the situation. the stereotypical if shes lying about this what else is she lying about?

I am just so confused, I really would like some input from someone with there head on straight. I am open to all ideas and criticism. Am i being to needy? am I wrong to not want her to even have a myspace anymore because of the problems it seems to cause? is this compulsive lying?

thanks for taking the time to read all of this and for your input!

It does not sound like compulsive lieing. It sounds like to me that she has no respect for you nor your feelings.

There is nothing wrong with having friends, whether it male or female, and chatting on myspace but since she is doing it with old boyfriends and sex partners that seems to me like she does not really want to be in a relationship. She wants to flirt and play games with these men and in the mean time she is hurting you by doing it.

She is also lying about it which of course means even she thinks it is wrong and it needs to be hidden.

You have to decide what is your breaking point. How many times are you going to catch her before you give up? How many times are you going to let her stomp on your feelings?

In my opinion you have every right to be upset. I do not see you as needy but as someone that wants a little respect shown to you in this relationship.