I just needed to get my story off my chest. I have/had been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years, thank god not any longer. He decided he wanted us to get a store so he could run it...boy he ran it good, right into the ground.

Thanks to this website I know that he is a pathological and compulsive liar. He blames everything on his parent's divorce, especially his father and his ADHD, which he never took his medicine for anyways.

Please listen to my warning, they will not change if you let them become dependent on you! He tried to commit suicide in front of me because he was mad one minute and the next he was crying, this is not acceptable behavior of a 26 yr old man. I went to the State's Attorney Office and had an Order of Protection placed against him. PLEASE PLEASE do this when you want to move on with your life. They can not call you, see you, have their friends talk to you, they can't talk to your family or friends or you, and if they do YOU CAN HAVE THEM ARRESTED FOR GOING AGAINST THE ORDER THE JUDGE CAST IN THE COURT OF LAW. Please protect yourself, because no one else will!!! Was the best decision I have ever made in my life. I wanted to believe he would change, but not until he gets serious mental and pschological help-not my fucking problem anymore and he isn't my kid!!! Life is too short to have all the life sucked out of you. There is hope, if I could get through this I can climb the tallest mountain. Thank you for listening and thank you to God and my blessed Angels that have looked out for me, I am so glad I am writing this and didn't do the unthinkable because this guy made me so depressed and said the nastiest stuff to me and made me feel like living was worse than dying. God, please help those who are hurting and are living in pain and give them the strength to do what what they know they need to do in order to live a better life, Amen.

Good for you. I hope you are proud of yourself and the strength you have shown!

I hope that one day I can be as strong as you. I wish you all the happiness which you deserve.

Need to vent:
Wow, I am impressed with you! It seems like you have really moved on, how long as this been going on for you? My X BF of 2 mos is a pathological liar as well....He blames his lying, drinking and money problems on the breakup of his marriage 6 yrs ago (I have been told by his relatives his first marriage was rocky for 18 yrs so it's hard to think he was surprised or shocked). He left me for another woman and now spends all his time with her, I'm sure hes lying to her about all the things he lied to me about and more. Even though I have only talked to him 2x since the breakup, I feel so weak, I am struggling with missing him and the VERY LITTLE have gave me over 6 yrs. I feel depressed and overwhelmed right now about my life even though I have a good life. I own my home, have a good job and 2 great kids but feel sad that he's not in my life anymore. I know in my head that I can't deal with the lying and financial instability so why is this so hard?? I keep thinking that maybe he could change and we could reconcile if I just helped him (Again)!! I would like to seek revenge and see him fail and suffer but I'm not sure P/L ever suffer or feel pain?? By outward appearances he is happy with new GF.
Why is it taking me so long to get over this?

I was in a relationship with a CL for 10 years, married for 3. My husband always had to have someone there to take car of him, and for the majority of the time, I did. Whether it be transferring money to his account, or other small things that I did to help him stay out of "trouble". When we started dating, he was dating another girl who had been doing the same thing for many years as well (and continued to date her for a few years while we were together, come to find out).
Now that I've given the background on it, here are my thoughts on what may be going on, rvtwngrl... In my experience, I almost needed to hit "rock bottom", if you will. Kinda like a user, I guess. Deep down I think I knew a lot of the time that he was lying, etc. but didn't want to admit it to myself. The day that I decided that it was done was on New Year's Eve day- I was in the bank, and arguing with the woman about my mortgage, and the notice that I got that it hadn't been paid for 3 months. It suddenly hit me that I, in fact, didn't know if it had or not, and had a sinking feeling. So it took me almost losing my house in order for me to see what he really was.
If you are able to spare yourself from further disrespect, disregard, and complete devastation, do so now. And if nothing else, consider the damage that it could cause your children. Or the things that it could teach your children if you get back with him--a)it's OK to let people lie to you, or b)it's OK to lie to people. If you only have 2 months invested into this- get out FAST! (and when you look to start dating others, find the complete opposite type of person).
Finally free- Good for you!! I am (not so) patiently awaiting my divorce to be final and have never felt better. (By the way, he also ran a business into the ground and blamed everything on his ADHD. Blaming his actions on anything, really, other than his own actions.
Not sure if you had to go through the same, but it took me quite some time to not accept responsibility for a lot of things--"the business went under because you didn't support me!" when, in fact, I took out many loans for him to support his desire to own this business (which, of course, he is not paying- I am).
Rvtwngrl- I know that it is so easy to say, but SAVE YOURSELF from all of this by not getting back with this guy. Nobody can deny you your feelings of missing him, etc., but dissect his actions and things he says to you, and ALWAYS assume that he is a)lying, and b)only looking out for himself. Seems that often these CL's are not able to look beyond their own desires.
Wow, this got long- but just really wanted to talk on my point, I guess. I haven't felt this good in a LONG time, and would strongly encourage anyone who is contemplating leaving a CL to DO IT!!!

Hi Cindyj,
Thanks for responding....my message wasn't clear and it sounds like I was with him for only 2 mos (how I wish!!). No, we were together for 6 years. I, like you knew sometimes he was lying and I think I chose to overlook it because I didn't want to be alone....Sad but true.....Now that we have been apart for almost 3 mos the fog is starting to clear for me and I SEE that I took whatever bone he would throw and he knew I would. However when I did start to question things and I started to be somewhat distant, he RAN into the arms of someone else (someone he met at his Drs office). I have heard through the grapevine that he is so intertwined in her life now, her small children, practically living with her (something I would never do out of fear since he lied everyday about something). I am thankful that I held back that little bit, however I still spent 6 yrs!! Sometimes now I still get too focused on what he is doing, what the relationship is like with OW but then I stop and think back to the beginning of our relationship and of course she thinks he loves her, wants her, can't live without her...That's what they do to take your head and heart captive. I would like to see him FAIL and be HURT like me but then I remember the best revenge is a GOOD life.
My advice to anyone who is involved with a LIAR is to get out!! It's hard to leave the relationship but I feel better already.....