Well, I must admit, that was quite the email he sent you.

In order to explain it, or what I got out of it anyway, can be explained in much simpler terms, and why he decided to use quotes of rational people and philosphers, I don't understand.

Society judges you based on your wrongs, or extreme rights. Once you do something horrible, it takes a lifetime to live off that reputation. In order to change from the person who did that wrong in the first place, you must strive to be like the person who would never do that wrong.

Now, as far as what you're saying about this guy, I'm asking you why are you giving him the time of day?

Without diving into it, this man does not deserve your attention. Addiction is not love, addiction is an induced habit. Habits are hard to break, but this one you really need to.

Read about codependance. You don't need this guy. You do not need him to validate your existence. You do not need him in order to be happy. You do not need him in order to love.

Love someone who will love you back. Respect someone who will respect you back. Have a relationship with someone who will have a relationship back.

If you sincerely want to make it work with this guy, you need make sure he wants the same. Men often want what they can't have, and they often also hate what they can't get. Sometimes, and in your case, men don't appreciate that they got what they couldn't have, and end up wanting something else.

Be true to yourself and find someone who will overjoyed that you are giving him the time of day. Please do not continue a relationship in which the only reason he wants you back is because his booty call probably doesn't want any type of emotional attachment, and that is what he is missing with you.

They won't change UNLESS they want to. They can change, but it is very difficult for them to do so. It will always be up to them.
We can only cope with and deal with our own behaviour and reactions.
I have stopped being stoic and 'forgiving' when he lies because if I don't he is hurt. If he gets upset if he has been found out, tough, he has to get on with it. If he is honest with me, that is what gets a positive response from me.

They need the lying as much as the next person needs the fags, booze, coffee, shopping expedition, cuddly teddy, bedtime story hugs and kisses. Those of us who live with the liars are asking them to give up something they hold dear, a way of getting through the day.
The CL needs to work out that they are hurting themselves before they can begin to consider others. They would have to see that there are other ways of coping with life that gives them the good feelings,, positive benefits without causing pain. Telling the truth, facing up to responsibilities, being honest can lead to good feelings without being vulnerable. It can be quite attractive.
My husband spent years trying to convince me I was ugly, fat and stupid. why, partly because if I believed in myself, I might leave him and partly to be a good boy for mummy because she drip fed him with lies about me and he wanted her to praise him for doing her bidding.It did not occur to him that his destructive behaviour would serve to drive me away.
He and his mum would give a Freudian many hours of fun (without the sexual element).

I taken up a career in Psychotherapy because having spent so much time researching our relationship, it drew me in to why people behave the way they do and what can change

I am currently going thru the same thing with a supernice guy, who even lies when he asks Terrible experience. He lies so perfect so you really need to be a detective to figure all out. He hurt me so bad, that I had eating problems, throw-up etc from it. Really really bad.
Now I want to get rid of him, but I wonder, is there a way to keep them as friend only, so they would stop the lies when really there is NO reason to continue???
Any similar experiences?
I think it is a naive thought, but I wanted to ask others.
Thanks for any input.

No one is worth putting yourself through a hard time for. Love yourself first, if you still feel the same about friendship after that, he is getting more than he deserves from you.
They can be real charmers, part of the process.

I have been there too...I have tried being just a friend, lover, taking distance from my liar and none of it works! I do believe once a liar, always a liar. Even if they are not lying to you they will lie to others and do you really want a friend like that? You see, it's not about you! My ex lied to his ex wife, his kids, his employer, his friends. Anyone who might have cared about him at one time. Now he has lost us all, except the new woman who he has caught in his little web for now at least. I'm sure hes spinning his tales with her but it's only been 3 months so it's still early in the game. I spent 6 years with him through ups and downs and yes I still miss him but I reached my bullshit threshold and I could NOT deal with it any more and wow it did not take him long to move onto the next victim. I am slowly feeling like myself again, doing the things I want to do without worrying about whether someone is lying to me or not, it's a great feeling! Good luck on trying to remain friends, it would be tough.

Thanks both of you for the input.
I guess the only reason I try this "friends-thing" because it is hard for ME to cut it just like that. Its hard because my heart and mind was not lying. And OMG, all the effort I tried to help him to overcome his personality problmes.
And yes, I believe he lies to everybody around him, mother, daughter and the number of women he has parallel. It is really shocking...

How did you collect power to say no and yet overcome to feeling of missing the person?

It's so unfair that I suffer from HIS illness.

And it's fantastic that such forums exist, at least I don't go mental myself.