2 months ago after being broken up for the big 5 days my pathological liar came to me in tears beging forgiveness, stating he realised that he did me wrong and that he needs me. How he couldn't look at himself in the mirror(didn't like who he saw), was going to counselling, wanted us to go to counselling so he could learn to be honest with me. If I got nervous over the past 2 weeks, told me he understood and knew he would lose me if he lied again. 2 weeks ago went camping with his friend(he didn't)I called the friend who happened to be home. Tried to end things but he convinced me like always that he was telling the truth. We lived together up until 2 months ago. I drove by his house when he was gone that weekend and there was a strange car in the driveway....last night we had plans, but he texted me telling me he was miserable and needed time to himself. Something didn't jive....drove by his house late last night and the car was in his driveway again at 0200. Hmmm, did a ownership search and found out that it is the girl he had been seeing or rather one of the girls he had been seeing prior to me. Today was to be our first conselling appointment together. Yeah, right. So needless to say I endured another 2 months of his lying only to realise he never changed, never cared, and was sleeping with someone else and me at the same time!
They don't change, they are incapable of it. He broke my heart so many times before and again last night. He is now out of my life. I wish I had enough courage to bang on his door last night and confront him and let her know about me, but I didn't. Now, I am in no mans land, and he has his girlfriend that is clueless.
I am mad, sad and want revenge, but there is no reveng to have. He will never realise the pain he caused someone, he only cares about himself. I need some support, because I am so hurt. How can I get the anger out of me and hurt without wanting to hurt back?
How can someone treat someone this way, sit there lie to their face over and over again, beg for forgiveness, swear that they are true when they are not?

Same boat - except that I have no desire to hurt him or see him hurting. Actually, it hurts me that he is hurting. Odd huh? I know.

Anyway, I am sorry to hear about your pain. I have read several of your posts. Last you posted on my thread you talked about getting back into exercising and focusing on yourself. How has that been going? I would try to get back to that mentality. All this hurt and the feelings of revenge will fade. Some people suck. Not all of them.

I believe that people can change. That either makes my positive nature and faith in the goodness in people stronger - or, it makes me a sucker. We shall see...

But, I refuse to be jaded by this. I refuse to give someone else that power to affect me for the rest of my life and influence the rest of my relationships. No one is worth that and I should not give anyone that power. I will get over this pain and I will learn my lessons. However, my lesson learned will not be that "they never change." If he does not change – the lesson will be that HE never changed.

I would caution you not to date right away. I know that it would seem to make the process less painful – but, you are more likely to take these issues into your next relationship. My thought is that you need to make peace with what happened, both of your roles and work to re-center yourself before you should bring someone else into the mix.

I wish you all the best. I know your pain...

AILA

The whole thought of dating seems quite daunting to me right now. I am still trying to care for myself, but tend to feel more tired then usual after the last drama. I feel sorry for him because he will never change and he has a beautifull 4 year old that will be affected by this. I know that we will never speak again, and I am good with that, there is no way he can pull the wool over my eyes again. Too much, he is incapable of being honest and lied throughout the whole time he was stating he was trying to earn my trust back. There is not even a possiblilty of friendship which is odd for me because my other relationships I have had there was always a mutual respect that we maintained a friendship. Oh well, better to know and know I was right all along then still be like a fly caught in a deadly spider web of evil, lies, and disrespect.
He will never realize the pain he causes others and I am ok with that.
I appreciate your words, and any wisdom you have. Reading through peoples threads it is amazing how so many of us have the same story.

This is my first time here, I was doing a search on liars and did not know there were so many different types. My father has lied to me for years now and I only found out he was lying a few years ago. Even though I confronted him on all the damage he had done to me. I mean, we nearly ended up homeless cause of his lies. But even now I have moved out he still continues to lie and carries on like walter mitty. Even though he has hurt me as I am only child to, he does not seem to care and carries on lying to everyone. Even those closest to him. And before you ask where my Mum is, she died when I was a child. so there you have it folks.

Hi, so my ex and I talked today and he stated it is not me as to why he strayed, but him. He has a problem as per him he has been dating six other women besides me. I wonder if he was doing it when we were living together. Probably, given my work schedule. Now I know why he never bought me anything or we never went out, his money was ebing spent on hotels, bars and dinners with the other women. I tried to explain to him that he gets out of this easy, just keeps skipping along with the others, but I get out bruised. I have to heal my broken heart, my betrayed soul, my doubts in the male population. I am the one that hurts because I believed his lies for a year and gave him me. He has no feelings of remorse or even compassiomn for what he put me through. He just thinks about himself and his wants. I asked him how IO could be more like him and not care, and he said I wouldn't want to be like him, because he is unhealthy./ Wouldn't one want to fix themselves if they are aware of this? And I assume he was lying about seeing a therapist too.
I am broken, sore sad, my drive of going to the gym and taking care of myself just got sucked out of me tonight after I talked to him?
Why would he want to cause me more pain then he already has by telling that there are six others? What purpose? It only causes me more heartache. I told him the truth that he destroyed me. He had to go, he was tired and wanted to sleep. So now I have made a promise to myself not to call, text or email him again,. because he will never show remorse. And is probably laughing to someone else about me already.

I read your post and I thought of me.....People like your ex do not feel any remorse or pain-Everything I have read about PL says just that. I have made a promise to myself that I will NOT contact him again and I will avoid him like the plague if I see him around. My ex PL found a new woman while dating me and lied about that (SURPRISE!!). He has stopped all contact with his family and is just wrapped up in new woman and her life. I'm sure he is lying to the new woman about all of it, just like he did to me. The best thing to do is keep yourself BUSY and realize you have a lot of offer someone who doesn't LIE!!!