Let's keep it short. I found out a month ago. I always suspected this person, everyone knows she's easy and has a thing for married men. I asked him several times to please not talk to her. He said I was being paranoid. Behold, two months later he tells me he cheated on me (someone told me as soon as he left her place!) and I had to choose. Stay or leave? I don't know that either one would have been the right choice. He said it only happened once and that it was never inappropiate before the "one" time. Do I believe him? how to deal?

Want to keep it short?

Leave. You deserve better.

I know its not that easy to just walk out on your life. I know that but with that said you have to go off of how you feel inside. Do you feel like he really wants to make your marriage work? Do you feel like he is truly sorry for his actions? Do you feel like he really learned his lesson?

I can understand forgiving someone for this. I can understand but if you are going to forgive them then they have to deserve to be forgiven, do you understand?

Has he made the effort to be forgiven?

I dont think it matters at this point if it was 1 time of 100. What matters is if he is still doing it, if he wants to make things work with you and if he is genuin in his apology.

you have to take this in a case by case bases. This is all up to you.

i wish in my heart i COULD just leave it all behind! i have accepted my situation, i'm in counseling, but still, it is the doubt that is consuming me...the what if's. he cannot be 2 mins late bc i have a panic attack. I believe he is making an effort, not heroic, but an effort. And the worst part is that, at this point, I still don't know where I stand. I flip out and get angry...never when he is around tho. Does he deserve to encounter my anger and doubt, or should I just keep "working on it"?