A few weeks ago my husband was supposed to go to a party after I came home from work and took our daughter off his hands. I had to work late, and I called him to let him know. He said okay, he would go to the party a little late, no big deal. Instead, I came home to an empty house. I called him, and he was at the party with my daughter. I had to go pick her up. He wouldn't even give me the address where he was until I told him he would have to bring our child home himself and go back if he wasn't willing to tell me where to pick her up.

When I picked her up he was with two women, once of them holding my daughter's hand, which was funny since this was a guy only party and no kids were supposed to be allowed. I felt bad because I figured it was the wives of his other friends, then I wondered why I hadn't been invited too. We could have gotten a sitter and had a nice time.

Later I asked my daughter if she had fun with daddy at the party. She replied, "Daddy's friend Katie painted my nails, and I petted her puppy. Katie loves daddy. She says daddy doesn't like you anymore and they're going to get married."

Where does a kid get that if it's not the truth? I feel like if I believe a three year old, there's something wrong with me. But still...that blows my mind!

You didn't say, but I would assume you asked your husband about this, correct? Like who are these woman? Did they paint your daughter's nails? And his answer was???

Did he actually go back to this party? You're leaving a lot out here so there really isn't anything to base an answer on to your question as to whether or not to believe what your 3 year old daughter is saying is suspect. M

Sometimes, the innocense of children is the absolute truth, because this is what they know, and/or have been told by others. When I faced a similar situation with my husband and my daughter who was 3 years old at the time, told me that they'd spent time all day with "denise," shopping for an easter dress, I knew this was the truth...even though my husband had told me that he and our daughter had gone by themselves to look for a dress. Sometimes God has a way of telling us the truth through children or other methods.

Also, I trust my "gut feeling." I don't know if you'd ever suspected this of him before, but either way, there must be SOMETHING to what your baby told you. Maybe you should question him...you do have a right to know. And if he's being dishonest or cheating on you, obviously he doesn't care much about your marriage, and even your daughter, if he's exposing her to "other" women. Don't let him watch her anymore. Take care of her yourself or find a relative to care for her while you're at work or out.

God be with you.

He said these women were a girl and her sister who were friends, and who he worked with. Yes, they painted her nails, which I could give less than a ::bleep:: about compared to what she said.

He denied the whole thing, said it was a lie. I told him if our child was lying that badly about mommy hating daddy that then we should take her to counseling, because after she said it once she just kept repeating it over and over again when ever she was engaged in idle banter.

I feel like an idiot even posting in here actually. I will never have a way to prove if it was right or wrong. Between work and mothering I have no time or resources to follow him or ask contacts to check into who these people are. If what she said was true, I know divorce papers will come eventually, or a packed suitcase and missing husband, or the infamous "night he screwed up and got caught" scenario, so really all I can do is be the wife I promised to be until that happens.

Kris, If your 3 year old daughter had an ear infection you would likely take her to the doctors, right? If you feel that perhaps your daughter does have a lying problem which could be just a manifestation of something else, then why not take her to a child psychologist and have that looked at? I mean, it is a mental health issue, if you are leaning to thinking this a habitual lying problem. Better to catch it in the developmental years than wait until she's a teenager and lying about drugs or alcohol, right?

But if you don't really think she's lying to you about what she says occurred, then you have no other alternative then to realize your husband is lying, covering up, deceiving, hiding.

Are you trying to rationalize this? We do, do that sometimes you know...done it myself, many times. So I understand, but you have to be honest with yourself about that.

You do NOT have to the just be the wife you promised to be. That is caving in. If you feel that your husband is hiding something or deceiving you in some way, then there is a problem. A big problem. Even if you lay blame off of who's problem it is, or what the problem is, there is still a problem that needs to be dealt with. It won't go away just because you are being the wife you promised to be. And because you want to be this wife, you should expect your husband should be the husband you thought you married and get the safety and trust in your relationship that you deserve to have.

If it were me I would demand the respect and acknowledgement that you very much deserve, not only as his wife but as a human being. We all deserve that.

Good luck, M

I can tell you right now that what your daughter said is probably true. Now my daughter has told me some stories before that have raised an eyebrow. There is 1 story that always gets me going and it involves my husband, some girl named Sarah, me & my daughter and we were at a party with them dancing so i am not sure where she gets that from. She has also told my husband that while he was gone that I let her have friends over (which the parent is a single father & my hsubands best friend) to play which isnt true. So I think you have to look for some truth in the story that she is telling. From what you have written you know that what she said is true but you dont want to face the fact that your husband might be doing something he shouldnt be. Look at the facts:

1 male only party, no kids allowed, no females
2 he couldnt wait for you to get home, he was to excited to get there, he was willing to take your daughter
3 he wouldnt give you the address, you had to drag it out of him
4 when you get there some WOMEN is holding your daughters hand
5 your daughter tells you about the other women

come one its spelled out in your own words, you know it. Now its your turn to face it and deal with it. You cant run from it, you have to face it and face it head on.

By the way, you should tell your husband for future refrence he should watch what he does in front of your child because children hear and see a lot more then we think they do. They are not silent either, they will spill the beans everytime.