belongs to no one wrote:
well let me start off by saying that i do not agree with you "dating" as some of these other women put it a married man, BUT sometimes we dont mean to fall in love with someone...sometimes you just cant help it...that is what some people would call fate. Maybe this man didnt think before he married his wife and maybe he has found his real soulmate in this "other" woman. its a VERY tough situation. All i can say is that if you love him give him a little bit of time and see if he does leave and then think about if you can trust him and THEN think about what he says he wants with you. In the end you will either live happily ever after or you will be left heart broken. Best of luck hun

I really like what belongs to no one wrote here... But I wanted to add that the man I am with has a baby with a woman he claims to be his ex (or what I called baby mama).
They conceived the baby 2 months before we met. I know because the baby was four months old when she called me in July to find out who I was.

I don't know for sure if they are married, but I have a nagging feeling about it. I can't stop thinking about it today.

She called me numerous times for three days, and when she finally talked to my mother she claimed that they had been married since April 2007. If this is true, then their relationship is not very solid. I never went to his house so I have no idea who is telling the truth. He told me that he feels very bad about what he did, having a baby with a woman he didn't love, but that he is not married and that April 2007 means nothing to him.

I believe him because when we met he told me that he was not married or engaged by that he did have a baby on the way ("a compromise" in his words, in Spanish).

I'll admit that I called his sister and ended up talking to her husband. He said that to his knowledge, he is married. But then again, he lives halfway across the country. BUT then again, his wife told him that my guy's wife called her in the middle of the night crying because she had discovered her husband was cheating on her. How did I get his sister's number? Immediately after his "baby mama" called me I got the call from my guy's sister , so that story is pretty firm.

I have no idea, guys.
NO IDEA.

But the way I feel today is... I need to tell him to stop talking to me until he has cleared up his situation.

I'm planning on visiting him in December. This is how I plan to get closure. He's going to meet my dad.

If he's married, what will you do?
If he's NOT married, but his family believes he is, and his baby's momma is going to get involved in your business, what are you prepared to do?
Which of these scenarios attract you?

I think your decision to cool it until he can clear up the situation is wise.

I would put the December trip on indefinite hold, ancel-cay, even.

If you aren't madly in love with this man then why bother with all the drama. He sounds like a real jerk for not helping out with his new baby. married or not "baby mamma" could use some help from him. He should be with her, changing diapers or helping her get some sleep instead starting a new relationship. i wouldn't want him.

Thank you!

I talked to him yesterday, he noticed that I was quiet and not very energetic. But he was very supportive and explained his situation again. He was consistent.
All I'm going to do now is chill out on the thoughts and emotions I was having. I no longer feel the pain I was feeling yesterday.

If he's married, I'm gone.
If he's not, I'm stayin'. She can only do so much, and I can forgive his mistake...