In my case I'm not blaming the other woman for his wrongs...I'm blaming her for HER wrongs and participation in it KNOWING about me. Yes a man will lie and say whatever to get what he wants...I get that. BUT the other woman plays a part too. She is wrong for engaging in a relationship with a man that is CLEARLY unavailable. So why shouldn't I question her too? Why shouldn't I be angry with her too?

I completely understand. I would want to question her to. I guess i would lay it out there for her and tell her he is married and she has no business involved with him.

I guess my point was that most peoples first reaction is to blame the outside party rather than blaming there spouse. The sad part is that a lot of women dont know that the man is married or the man says he is getting a divorce which then makes her feel like he is free to do as he wants. Does that make sense? That was all I was getting at.

If it where me I would be more mad at him for doing it then the women because you dont know what he has been telling her. If my husband did that to me (I hope that never happens) I would probably direct my anger towards him and just set the record straight with the other women. I think a lot of time the OW is hoping that what he has said is the truth rather than facing the fact that he will never leave his wife.

I guess its wishful thinking on the OW part and lies on the mans part.

By all means I am not defending the OW because I know that I would be mad at her to BUT my point is that we as women need to confront our husbands and blame then first and then confront the OW.

No. I completely understand what u mean. Very insightful as far as what men lie about to the other women...but I was referring to the women who know about wives and girlfriends but don't care and want to enter the relationship anyway. This is very specific to my situation but there are alot of women out there that don't mind sharing...atleast for now and will lie for a cheater to cover it up. There are men that will say to the other woman strait up "I have a wife, girlfriend, fiancee or what ever" as they still persue the other woman and if she doesn't care and still wants him anyway there goes the start of cheating.

POed, I have a better idea...got lemons? Make lemonade.

How bout this? Start a service as the go-between for cheaters...you could forward messages, pictures, set up places to meet, etc. to the OW/OM for the cheating partner. Big bucks I'm tellin' ya. Here's why? You could charge mega money if the cheater doesn't pay because you have the cheated on partners name and number. Yea, that's called blackmail. Heck, being that we know all the tricks that these cheaters use you could actually open a business as a cheaters coach. We know how this works from the inside out. We are talking global here people.

I hope you all realize I am JUST KIDDING...but boy for the right minded person with no morals what a business that could be...apparently these cheaters aren't as smart as they think they are...idiots that they are. M

Marie--I have no interest in making money on other people's suffering, I'll leave that up to the divorce attorneys. My only goal would be to expose a liar/cheater for who they are and for the lies they tell. It would give both the wives/girlfriends a chance to realize they are both being lied to and played. There is a section on this site called secrets exposed, so basically it would be similiar to that. Marie- In light of everything you've been through and I'm very sorry you are going through it, what advice would you give a woman who suspects her husband or boyfriend is cheating?

Sawinski wrote:
Everyone puts the blame on the other women because they dont want to blame there man. Isnt that right?



No Sawinski, that couldn't be more wrong. Check out any other infidelity board of those betrayed spouses that are trying to heal and you will see that NO WAY does the married man or woman who messed around gets no blame. If he is serious about staying and trying to make up for what he did, he will live the rest of his life on his knees with regret and remorse for destroying the trust his or her spouse had in their marriage. A betrayed wife in particular, will spend her days after D-day in despair for sometimes YEARS. The husband will get the full force of that and have to learn how to live with it and help his wife heal. The ow is just another entity. She is the person who with total disregard for another person or family decided it was her right to intrude and find something meaningful in the midst of full on lies.

If you and your husband had a spat some day in the future (I hope for your sake, this never happens) and you decide it would be a good thing to try living apart for a bit, is that a license to date and sleep around? Would that be okay with you? Would you think it was okay to bring some man home to your home because you were "separated"? Unless there is a spoken word that both couples are free to date and go outside their marriage, then no, it's not. GUARANTEE 98.9% of those other woman that are bagging married men and hoping their wife dies or leaves him would not think it was okay if it happened to them.

Check out gloryb. It's a forum full of women sleeping with married men who gush about an hour of sex in the middle of the week before the man goes home to his family. They're convinced he loves them and hates living with the wife. If that were true, they could leave their wife, but it just isn't happening. They accept the lies because they are desperate for affection. All they have to do is say no.

Oh yeah, the married spouse who screws around deserves to be strung up by their earlobes, and guess what.. they usually are. The ow are every bit as much to blame for their morals and values. The man that doesn't accept responsibility and change his ways is the man who is not done cheating.