Well it's a long story...
I was living with Lori and our daughter for about 13yrs and we split for 2 1/2 .I found out she was planning to move up to the okanagan for a managers position at a Vernon Starbucks, also her father lived in Salmon Arm who has since past away. Things were ok between us except I wasn't spending enough time with her and didn't realize it. I knew she started talking to a old boyfriend who had found her on facebook. I was really concerned about this and understood I needed to pay more attention to her and did but then they started texting each other and finally phoning each other which made me furious. All the while we have been having alot of company staying here which worsened the situation as we had no time alone to talk. I wanted to give her some time away from us so I decided to talk my daughter on a fishing trip for 4 days, big mistake. When I returned, I found out through her emails from him that she had summons him up here and she had sex with him. That was the worsed day of my life when I read that and just about had a break down. That guy drove 5 hours to spend 4 hour with another man's women. After a few days some of the pain left, I thought of leaving but I realized how much I loved her and my daughter and couldn't bare to leave them. So I proposed to her and she said yes. Everything has been fine and we spend alot of quality time together but living with her cheating is been extremely tough. I just knew I had to try, and I'm still not sure if I can get through it. I just don't understand why she would do something so damn hurtful to a family and how can I ever trust her again. I guess time will tell. I not sure if I did the right thing or not but it took some of the pain away.

Will I get through this ,will we be happy?
Thanks for listening... Brian

I'm sorry to say BC that marriage is not a guarantee of future fidelity. It may be better to look at her history as an indication of what your future holds together. By proposing after finding out about infidelity you have shown her you are willing to accept whatever she does and reward her for it. It is like rewarding bad behavior. Sorry to be so negative but I've seen too many people get burned by staying with a cheater, myself included. You are entitled to change your mind about the proposal if you choose to. It's easier to end a relationship without the legal entanglement a divorce would bring. This reminds me of a story where a couple was supposed to get married. The groom found out his fiance was cheating the whole time with his best friend, the best man. He didn't confront her and from all appearances he was going to marry her, until the big day came. If I remember correctly when it came time to say I do he said I don't and why and a giant projected picture of the bride and best man "together" went up on the wall. He then said that under the seat of one lucky couple were the tickets for the honeymoon. He succeeded in exposing the cheaters and got revenge because her parents had paid for the honeymoon. Anyhow something to consider before you take the leap.

Asking her to marry you isnt the right way to get over the hurt that you felt. I am glade that it helped but those feelings are going to always resurface inless you confront them, head on! You need to go to counseling or something to get over this. Have you really talked to her about it, I mean really? You need to talk to her and let your feelings out. You will forever wonder what she is doing inless you sort your feelings out.

I hope the best for you but marriage doesnt guarantee she will stay faithful.

NO!!!!!!!!!!

For the love of God, man, don't do it!! (and I'm a woman, BTW).

What is the point of committing to someone who doesn't respect you?

I'm begging you not to sell yourself out...I regret it now.

do not marry cheater, she will only cheat again & again, been there done that

I am in the exact same boat. I want to marry my fiance but just don't trust the bstd. I freaked out because he bought a fancy new cell phone that I see as a high tech cheating tool. I wish I were in fairy tale land with a happy ending.

I think we have to dump them buddy. lol, maybe we should get all four of us together in a Starbucks and you and I will dump their cheating asses together. We are only one province away. I bet they'd leave together and go have a great time the cheating %&^heads.

I'm taking it slowly. No rush because that pain makes me feel like I can't breath. Stupid me though, behind the scenes I keep planning the wedding. I just bought the cake topper on line. Don't worry folks, I'm in counselling because I am obviously losing my mind.