My husband just recently joined the Army National Guard at a late stage in life...just turned 40. He is currently in training and will be gone for another 3 months. I just went for a visit this past weekend and there is a woman (yonger) that is his "good friend". Didn't get to meet her or course.

My husband told me one of her first questions to him, was has he ever cheated on me???? Yet he is still her friend. Anyway, the texting continued all weekend I was there and in reviewing the phone/text bill there are about 30-45 texts a day to each other.

He swears their just friends and that he loves me. He has never given me any reason to question his motives before. Very loving husband, but very naive to say the least.

I confonted him last night and he stated that he will take care of it, hence no more texts. But I'm not comfortable with just thatn. Am I crazy?

Any comments would be appreciated. Thanks. Jen

i don't think you are crazy at all, you have every right to ask him to stop texting this women. He should be spending time texting you not her!!! Just keep an eye out and make sure this stops because the next step may be him cheating on you and that would be horrible. hang in there and like i said watch him closely

It could well be that your husband thinks of this other woman as just a friend, you know, someone to show him the ropes, perhaps he feels a little insecure because he might be one of the oldest guys there etc., BUT, never underestimate a woman's motives! Women will stop at nothing to get what they want. It is always women who make themselves available to men and these days they don't give a hoot if a man is married.
Keep an eye on the situation, don't accuse him but voive your concerns and point out to him that you are worried he might get attached to this other woman if their friendship continues on this scale. Show him lots of attention but don't be clingy and needy. Surely you are not going to let this woman get away with it are you???

Ok, Women are not always the ones that make themselves available for men. That goes both ways, men are just as responsible as women.

I do believe that you have cause to worry. BUT I wouldnt say anything more to him. Let him believe that everything is ok. If you keep talking to him about it he will shut down and hide everything better. Keep your eyes open, watch, and when you have all the evidence you need then confront him. The worst thing you could do is continue to accuse him because all that is going to do is make him run to her and hide everything from you.

Thanks for support!

Of course I want to keep harping on this with him, but I know that would be the wrong way to handle this.

I just have to survive somehow for another 12 weeks before he comes home. But I will be keeping an eye on his texting. I do trust and love my husband and know that he would never intentionally hurt me. I agree that he is probably just looking at her as a friend for now, but I am scared it could grow into something more meaningful.

The hardest part is knowing that he would text her first in the morning before me...even when I was out there visiting and staying at a hotel nearby. I honestly feel betrayed that she was on his mind first.

How do I get past this when all I want to do is yell at him!

I dont know how much I believe that he is looking at her as just a friend. I can tell you that if my husband was texting another girl during the day I would be mad & I would let him know that it is unacceptable and it stops now or I'm gone. I also know that I am the first person my husband calls when he has a break, lunch or anything happens to him. You should be #1 to him and the first person on his mind, not her. I dont want to make you feel worse or make you think that he is cheating but the fact is that he is emotionally attached to another women. In a marriage this is not good, nor acceptible. You need to keep tabs on everything with him. I know that he is gone right now but look at phone bills, bank records anything you can to find any strange behaviors on his part. Dont convince yourself that he just has a friend, or that he is cheating. You need to keep your options open because at this point its anybodys guess. You need to prepair yourself for the worse and hope for the best. That is all you can do at this time. I wish you all the luck but at this point if I was you I would have my eyes WIDE open and my mouth closed shut. Control your emotions as best you can until you have what you need to confront him. Look for support with us here on this board, friends, family anything to keep your head somewhat straight. If you sit by yourself you are going to do the "stinkin thinkin" and that alone can destroy a person.