Well, here goes what's happen to me.
My wife and I have been married for 25 years have two full-grown sons. My wife had an affair with a coworker back in 1995 it lasted about 2 years. I found out, talk to the guy and my wife it ended. The guy started going out with my wife's girl friend and a year later married her. Life went well for the next 8 years, I trusted her until November 2005. I thought affairs were past us. I had a feeling that something was brewing again, I started scooping around checking e-mails, phone records, cell phone records, low a behold I found a reoccurring number on both phones, 3 to 4 calls a day on & off for about a year and few months. I started recording got the evidences I needed to approach her with in January 2006. The guy was a friend we both new, I than talked to her that day she did not denied it and said she was sorry. The next few days I ask her questions, she said that I caught her before they had sex. They just kissed and he felt her breast. I don't believe her, she not being truthful. Today I'm still looking to see if she being truthful with me. I found an email to another guy that she met on a cruise she had taken with her mother in October 2005. The e-mails verbiage was vague but I see she leading him on to opening up a larger dialog between them. He e-mails her and said he flying into the area for a 2hour layover at the airport in July and ask her and her mother for drink while waiting for his plane, this didn't happen. My wife had told me about this guy when she returned from the cruise and said she e-mail him after the trip but since she e-mail him about 5 times that I didn't no about. Should I say something about this to my wife and/or e-mail this guy to leave her alone? Today I asked her again about the affair feeling of the breast she said it was not like that. She must think I'm stupid !!! For the group out there is my wife trying to hide the truth to protect our marriage or keep her self-open for continuing the affair or have another affair?

Well, I am sorry to hear that happened.

First, you have to ask yourself, if you do ask her to stop will she? When it comes down to it, she is going to make the choice no matter what you ask her to do or not to do.

To answer the second question, I think it is a little bit of both. Now, I am a guy and what I have noticed in my relationship (yes my wife has cheated too), she wants the comfort of stability, and the wildness of a child. What it boils down to is she needs to decide what one she wants more of.