After waiting for my Husband to join me as promised he never showed up. I had moved from Florida to Virgina on 1/1/2005 to help care for my Mother when she broke her hip. My husband promised he'd join me in April as he should have business all tied up by April. Well, April came & went and he continued making me promises he'd be joining me soon. He had so many excuses for not coming & blamed me for abandoning him. When I'd call him his voicemail always picked up. He told me he was living @ his brother's house when all along he lived w/ his mistress & lied to me about it. I had my suspicions that he was cheating way before I left but I was afraid to confront him because he always lied.

Eight months later my best friend told me she caught her husband cheating when she accessed his email account. I knew the answer to the secret question & I got what I didn't want to see. She sent him a love card from Hallmark. It puzzled me as to why she sent him the very card I had sent him a week before. She wrote, "I love you & love that you love me." I sat in front of that computer in shock. It felt as if my guts were being ripped right out of me. I then accessed her home phone number from white pages.com & left a message on her answering machine. I simply introduced myself as his wife & asked her to have him call me. I can't believe how frikkin nice I was. I didn't cuss or scream obscenities at all. He called me an hour later begging me to forgive him. It took him four months to move back home but I wanted him to want to come back on his own. She eventually dumped him for another man. (go figure?)

He came back a broken, souless shell of a man. He couldn't believe I could forgive him but I did. Now it's the forgetting I'm having a problem with. Does the pain of betrayal ever completely go away?

to my experience NO i dont think it does , not a day goes by that i dont think about what my husband did to me, its really hard to forget as anything little might spark those feelings of hurt an pain and back come the memorys, You could try being hypmotised thats wat im thinking of doing if it works for smoking well it have to work for trying to forget what you husband did.

I do beleive though through remebering what he has done to you, you create a barrier sheild so next time your aware and wont get too hurt if he does it again to you.

Good Luck

Hugs to you! Men are horrible!

I am in a similar circumstance although my husband was not quite to blatently obvious about it. I believe what the above poster has said. Not a day goes by that I dont remember first thing. I will always question him and that is something I am trying to live with. We are in counseling right now, so hopefully that will help the situation.

I believe my husband understands this is for keeps for me. I just cannot go through it all again, even with our kids. If it happens again, he is gone for me. He will always be my kids father, but you have to have some pride. I just take it day-by-day. Some are really good, some are really bad. Unfortunately for me,the person my husband cheated with he sees at least twice per week b/c they are in the same classes at school. It makes it much harder for me, that is for sure.

Good luck. I totally recommend counseling, I really do think this will help us or at least open things up as to why it happened in the first place.

Nicky