I had suspicions that something was going on between my (our) friend of six years. She's a widow and we spent a lot of time together.

Last October she asked if we could help her move and this is where it all started. I was busy the first day and so my husband went to help. As it ended up there were several helping days. We went to her new place for dinner and I was uncomfortable, something was wrong but I didn't know what? Then a few days later she was at our home for dinner and now I really began to wonder but brushed it off because she's my best friend and my husband would never do such a thing.

We live in a very rural area and my husband starting going off on "shopping" trips or whatever he could come up with. Again I was suspicious but told myself I was crazy. One day he returned after about 4 hours and I said "how can you find so much to do in our little town? If I didn't know better I'd think you were having an affair." Looking back it was written all over his face. About a month or so after I suspected this all started I had plans to go to a woman's dinner with my friend that evening. My husband was at work and I sat down to the computer and was trying to help my husband figure out his new laptop. I noticed some e-mails to him from my friend, at first I didn't think much of it until I read them. My suspicions were correct. I freaked out and called her screaming at her, how could she do such a thing. I called my husband, same thing, he tried to calm me down and said we'd talk when he got home. When he got home I was enraged, we've been married for almost 40 years! This only happens to young people for Christs sake.

They had met that morning for breakfast at her place supposedly for my husband to tell her they had to end it (according to my husband)quite a coincidence they would call it off on the day I find out! My husband told me it was all a mistake, it should not have happened and he was glad it was over, etc., etc. We talked it out and started working on rebuilding trust, etc., things seemed to be going well (she went out of state for two months) and I really thought we were back on track. I've had a terrible time handling the thought of them together, makes my skin crawl! From time to time I'd bring it up and he'd get very defensive, so I decided to try not to bring it up much. Long story short, a week ago he told me that she had been back in town and that he called her, he wanted to let her know that he's sorry for what happened and that we all lost our friendship and that he hoped she had a good life. He thought it was the right thing to do! I was upset but he assured me it was over.

Four days ago my husband was in our office, I came in to do something on the computer and there it was again right in front of me, he had set up a new e-mail account and had left it open (he's not computer savvy, he was tutored by you know who). After reading two shocking e-mails from him to her I erupted. He ran to the machine and got the mouse away from me, I wanted to see what she had written but he deleted them in the struggle. Yes, she had been back but they saw each other not just a phone call. I had heard from other friends that she was in town and wondered if I had seen her, ha, fat chance. By the time I found out she was in town they had already seen each other. I mentioned to my husband that I heard she was in town and I said if you want to call or see her it would have to be with me. He said he didn't plan on seeing her. Then a few days later he gives me the cock and bull story about calling her and that he felt he should let me know. He waited until he knew she had left again so I wouldn't confront her I'm sure. She told him how to open his "secret" e-mail so they could keep in touch and again I stumbled upon it.

I'm not blameless in this whole situation, almost two years ago I had an indescretion (not as bad as one would imagine) with an old high school friend at a reunion (I know, sounds like a cheap movie for tv by now). My husband found out (again in an e-mail)and was dumbfounded, we dealt with it, I'll probably never see the guy again, I realized just what I had after spending some time with the old friend. I thought we were moving on until this thing happened. Okay, I thought to myself,I was dealing with, touche, we're even? My first thought was that he really got me, he swears it wasn't on purpose, "things just happened". But after another four months and it happened again, now he's one up on me and I'm not dealing well. In all our years of marriage nothing like this has ever happened before, why now in our mid-60's! We are very active, do sports, travel, have a good life. We're talking, figuring out what went wrong, how to make it better and we both never want to have such a trauma again. I do think he means it. If not, and it happens again I'm done, told him this, he knows I mean it. The "secret" e-mail account has been deleted and he sent an e-mail which I read to my ex-friend ending their little soire and all of our friendship. I'll never let a friend get so involved in my life again, I shared my friends, family, dinners, parties, trips and as things ended up, the ultimate, my husband.

I could go on and on but my language gets a bit x rated. I feel we're on the road to recovery and each day is a little better. I really need to rid myself of my anger and rage, it's hurting me, not them. Sorry this was so long, hope it helps someone.