I can understand how you feel, especially about the visualizing in your head. It makes me sick also. My husband and I are talking and he's listening to me and we're trying to find answers. I do think we'll make it and I don't feel either one of us will make the same mistake again.

What I would say to you is this "if this had happened to me when I was young and I didn't think it was going to work I would have gotten out." We've had an almost 40 year marriage and this is the only time we've had a problem like this. We both agree egos had a lot to do with it. The thrill of someone else thinking we're attractive, smart, whatever (especially at our age!). Perhaps we also took each other for granted after so many years. If we can keep talking, and I think we can, I believe we'll make it.

Give your situation a long, hard look. You're still young, you have time to find someone worthy of you. Give it some thought.

Good Luck.

Update well so now were split up and he thinks he is in love with this new girl its the exact same situation that he and l were in 4 years earlier he doesn't know what love is. he said that she is very attracted to him and is really into him when they have sex. But he is so dumb that is the Whole reason he said that he loves her. I quit wanting sex w/ him Long ago b/c he cheated on me I felt betrayed But even though all this Why can Someone please tell me why I want him I want To have sex with him like I'll show you what you gave up. I think about him all the time when I see him I just want to either attack him or Jump his bones I feel so stupid how can I get over him Please help

dear god this story just gets crazier so I went out with a friend of mine on wed and he showed up with his new girlfriend well I was having too good of a time to be upset so I ignored them then my friend set me up with a booty call and just so we left as soon as we left the bar my cell was slammed with text msg from him saying all sorts of hateful things it went on all night long I knew he was bothered by me going out with this guys he demanded to know all the details so the next day he wants to acually talk to me and be nice then he wanted to have sex with me he is playing with my heart he all of sudden is so hot for me b/c He knew I slept with someone else he didn't want me while I was crying over him isn't this crazy it's like high school or something I'm so confused and fragile I love him so much and do want him back but I fear this attention he's giving me is just some sick game of his give me some advice please

I just got out of a six year long relationship with a compulsive liar and serial cheater. Which by the way, is the BEST thing I have done, but also the hardest and I am still reeling from the pain. I have found a great burden lifted from my life. And for those that are trying to make it work, I wish the best and hope that is doesn't sound like you have to give up on a relationship, that is just what worked for me. From my own experiences I have a few things I keep in mind on those days that it gets hard whether you're still in the relationship or not.

After catching my bf in numerous lies, whether they were "white lies" or lies about women etc. I began to be constantly suspicious of his every action. I would find myself at the end of every day analyzing and re-analyzing every word that came out of his mouth, trying to see if i could catch him in another lie or if he was telling the truth. And many times I would find other lies he had told me. I looked through his cell phone, at his phone records, subtly ask his friends questions, the whole PI nine yards. It would provide me comfort if I found out he was telling the truth, like he had earned one gold star for the day. And on the other hand, it would also make me feel better if I caught him, because I wasn't being a "fool" anymore. It eventually just drove me crazy!!! I've realized that being paranoid, just waiting for the other shoe to drop is no way to live. You shouldn't be driven to do things that you normally wouldn't do because someone else is defective.
I found myself questioning my own sanity thinking everything I was doing was crazy and psychotic. When I would question my boyfriend or catch him in a lie he would give me the whole "why do you do all this? this is your fault because you just HAD to know" routine. And for awhile, I would believe that was true. Well now i know, that is was MY RIGHT to know if I was being betrayed and lied to. Bottom line. And yes, the ways I went about finding out the truth were not the best ways, but if you have no other choice I would rather be called crazy than be ignorant to what is going on. If something doesn't seem to add up, it usually doesn't. Trust your gut.
On some of the excuses I was given, I was told that the other women calling late and night was just a "crazy stalker who wanted my boyfriend". Of course I believed it. But come to find out, to the "other woman" I WAS that crazed stalker when he was with her. So that excuse isn't always the truth. And if you think about it, as much as we love and think those men in our lives are great and wonderful, are they really the kind of men that cause women to swoon and become obsessed? Probably not.
Unfortunately, I may be just bitter, who knows , but I do think that once a liar always a liar. The same for cheating If you always let them slide on their lies/cheating, there is no reason for them to stop. Why would they? They know, yeah I'll be in hot water for a while,but it will be over soon. Give em an inch they take a mile. Everyone deserves respect especially from the person who is supposed to love you the most. I wish all of you going through the difficult times good luck.

Don't forget, the worst spot in Hell is reserved for Judas, the betrayer. (On my angry days, this always helps )