My wife has been cheating on me at least 8 of the 14 years we've been together. I keep hoping someday it will change. She keeps telling me she will stop (when she is caught)and she wants to be with me. Or is it just another lie she is telling everyone. I keep catching her time and time again with the lies and the deciet. While looking in the window I caught my wife in our basement with the first guy. They were kissing and he had his hands up her shirt, while the guys girlfriend her kids and our kids were upstairs in our home. I busted in threw him out, called the cops to file a attempted rape charges on him But I ended up in jail myself for assult. She tried to tell me she was setting him up to prove to her girlfriend what a cheating jerk he was and it got out of hand. Who knows what would have happened if I wouldn't have skipped work and came home. (buy the way I lost my job too because I was arrested.)
Now her boyfriend of 6 years has moved 5 blocks away and has left his wife again. She does not drive so this makes it easier for them to get together when I'm at work. The first night they meet she says she was very drunk and they passed out together at a friends. She says nothing happened but her panties were full of what apeared to be semen. They have been together several times since. She claims they are just friends,but I have over heard conversations and found leters declaring there love for each other. Secret plans to get together weekend get aways ect. She has already had 1 miscariage with this guy. (I am fixed) Still she tells me its just a friend and has told me many times she has ended it. But she does not know that I know she hasn't. To make matters worse she is in treatment for drug abuse and is a pathological liar. Last week she told her consulor I had a death in the family and we had to travel out of state to a funeral. The week before she had to get her medications early because she left it at a friends out of town. The truth was she has been overdoseing every week and doesn't have her daily dose. Every day it is another lie. Along with the massive daily amounts of over the counter drugs, This could kill her. She makes up stories about how bad I am and tells everyone we know. She has her parents and her friends all beleiving that I am the problem. She is very convincing and a very good at lying. She lies about everything. I don't believe she even knows the truth anymore. I have tried to confront her but I am always meet with very defensive denial. I have no friends or no one to turn to. I have no where to go nor do I want to leave my step children or our home. She is not willing to leave or get help so we are at a stand off. Now she is allowing daughter to follow in her footsteps staying out all night with her boy friend. I keep hoping and praying she will get better and go back to the woman I fell in love with. I would not abandon her or leave if she had cancer or some other illness. I don't want to abondon her with this disiese. But I an increasinly feeling like things will never change. We have no money and she cannot work so I feel responsible for her. How can I get out of this life and back to what I thought we had? I love her very much.

If I have learned anything in the last year about cheating or lying? its that you can never go back. I have tried to get back whats lost in my marriage for almost a yr now. Worst is the lies. There is something that blocks us from being able to make that step back. You cant go back to time that was perfect. All you can do is try to make the future the best possible with all thats happened looks like very tough road. I still believe in my marriage and I am still trying to get things to a point where we can both be happy together . Do I think it possible? well I hope so. But I do know that you cant turn back the clock. You must find a way to work thru it and move forward. Im stuck in the present having difficulty moving forward myself. BUT i did try going back and that didnt work either Hope this helps some good luck. I know its hard when you dont have someone to talk to or vent to. Im here if you need to talk. Been there hell still there. So I know how you feel

Thanks I have to somehow start believing in myself. Today she told her Mom I hid her meds on her, Her mom will not even talk to me about it. I wish I could make her see the truth. I think it would be easier if some one would beleive in me.

Ok so maybe this sounds a bit cruel or heartless but if her lies are that out of control have you thought about trying to set her up with a family member. You know something you know she would lie about and her family would also know it for the lie it is. Get a small voice recorder and hide it while having your conversations. this way when she is talking to you you have both of your voices on tape. wait til she tells the lie to her family and then in front of her and her family play the tape of the actual conversation. Maybe its shadey but the cat would be out of the perverbialbag then. and they might think ok he is telling the truth here an try to help their daughter and you. Just an idea

I feel for you! My situation is pathetic compared to yours and I'm kind of tore up about mine. I CANNOT fathom going through what you're going through.

I honestly don't know if I could survive it.

All I can say is you truly aren't alone. I'm going to go out on a small limb and guesstimate that there are more bad relationships than good. There are literally millions of people, JUST LIKE YOU, that are suffering in a downward spiral.

Personally, I would suggest that you look into a local support group that meets each week to talk about similar problems.

First, it gets you out of the house. Second, it allows you to meet with people that are fellow sufferers. (What's that saying? Suffering loves company) Third, it will allow you to vent and talk with other humans instead of the sterility of the internet bulletin boards such as this one, even though it's better than nothing.

Seriously, look it up on the net in your local area, for divorce or cheating or some sort of related support group and get involved.

It WILL help you!