It's funny you should say that because I've been thinking that lately... maybe I'm not crazy or nuts. I know I'm depressed (but who wouldn't be in this situation?)and that doesn't mean I'm cuckoo, it's a normal reaction to the years I've been ignored and now all the other problems...

When he comes back from his trips now, he's as sweet as pie and doing things that are definately out of character for him. He's even sending text messages saying he loves and misses me -- but I feel like something is missing now. And the thing that hurts the most is all the times he made fun of me and complained about me to the girlfriend and then making like he was helping me and was being understanding, then hanging up to spend hours on the phone with her and having phone sex - even exchanging naked pics on the phone. My point is, I really needed to talk to him to make myself feel better and I feel like it was all fake now. Those hours on the phone with her, could have been hours with me helping me... I'm so messed up over this... I know it may seem petty, but it's like a different type of loyalty was broken (like I said, I can deal with the cheating but my hubby has NEVER made fun of me before. How can I ever look at him again without wondering what the hell is he thinking about me right now?) Plus, to the girlfriend, he made me out to be a thorn in his side and he can't take it anymore, blah, blah, blah... which was the farthest from the truth. All that time (1 year) he never told her all the times he was trying to reconcile with me (and I never knew she was in the picture except that they were talking on the phone because he wanted to make me mad - I threw her out of my home and stopped talking to her 2 years ago because she tried to stab me in the back and break the marriage up - so by talking to her, he would successfully annoy me). It worked.

honey, just move on. It is not 23 wasted. It is 23 years of disrepect.