I dont know what to do anymore or how to begin to explain my situation...I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 6 years now and we have a 2 year old who means the world to us and he is very loving to our son but when it comes to me he just doesnt! Now you have to understand that when he was little he was physically and mentally abused by his father. i think that he just shut himself off. I started to notice it in the beginning of our relationship, but i thought that he was maybe shy or didnt really know how to express himself and that he would become more comfortable around me and stuff like that. I am an emotional person who shows affection. HE doesnt seem to know how. He also doesnt have a romantic bone in his body! I have brought this up to him before and he tells me that he will try,and it is something that doesnt come naturally to him but he just doesnt They only time we have physical interaction is that we give eachother a kiss before work and sometimes before bed. Also it seems that i am the one who initiates sex, to be totally honest we have never made love? We just "do it" I guess my question to anyone who reads this is what to do??? I just dont know this is really tearing me up inside why wont he show me he loves me? I know that it is mean to say ..like they say it and they mean it, but words are words if there is no feeling behind it where is the meaning??

If he was like this when you first met why did you stay? If this bothers you then you should have gotten out right away instead of waiting 6 years. I dont understand why people complain about there partners like this, he was this way before you and he will be this way after you. I dont want to sound mean or harsh but it just makes me mad to hear people complain about something so completely uncontrolable. He is who is he, you cant change him, you will never be able to get things out of him. Just because you are an emotional person (just like me) doesnt mean that he has to be. You need to learn to love him for who he is, every part of him. I to was having problems like that when i first got with my husband but I have learned over time to love him for who he is. He isnt the most loving man, he doesnt kiss or hug me inless I come to him. I use to complain all the time and it didnt hit me until he said "I guess I dont do anything right, I have never been an emotional guy and I never will be, If your not happy with me then I guess there is no hope for us" That is when I realized that its not him, its me. I'm not loving him for who he is and for what he does for our family. So I started to look at all the things that he does for us, works hard, cleans, does laundry, comes home to me every night, takes wonderful care of our daughter and he is ALWAYS there for me. Its all the little things that he does for the family that made me realize how much he does love me. Just because he doesnt kiss me all the time doesnt mean that he doesnt love me. I learned to look at those little things and I am a much happier person now. There is a great book called Men, Women & Relationships by John Gray that you should read. It teaches you the difference in men and women. It will teach you why men do the things they do, how they think, and how to be able to understand them. You have got to start loving him for EVERYTHING that he is, learn to look at all the little things that he does for you. Not everyone shows love the same way as you, everyone is different we all have our own way of doing things. Just because you do something one way doesnt mean that he has to, right?! Love him, ACCEPT HIM, DONT BE JUDGEMENTAL. All you are doing is judging him for not being like you, he doesnt have to be like you. One question; are you in love with HIM, or an image that you have created?

I can completely understand where your coming from. My husband the same way. My question is "do u settle and live the rest of your life feeling unconnected to your husband just because of the other good things he does or is being connected with someone more important to you?

I was married for 21 years to someone very much like your b.f. He didn't have a romantic bone in his body. However, we had a very good sex life and so I assumed we were making love,not just having sex. I also convinced myself that his way of showing love was being there for the family and taking care of us. The only times I ever received flowers was when I was in the hospital after giving birth. He used to say that men who brought flowers were trying to cover up guilt for something!

Most of the time I counted his good points and figured the good outnumbered the bad. However, the mistake I made was thinking that all the points were equally weighted. Looking back, I realize the things that really mattered deep down, carried more importance. What I missed out on - feeling a deep connection with my husband, feeling unconditional love,feeling that he would always be there for me no matter what, having a best friend.

He started getting very critical after he made a lot of money and eventually walked out of our marriage. He wouldn't go to counceling, said his mind was made up to move on and never said he was sorry for hurting me.

Looking back, I think I confused passion with love. I made the mistake of settling for less than I needed. Deep down, I was always aware that I wasn't with my soul mate and/or best friend. He would say "I love you", but I never felt cherished.

I used to believe that he just wasn't able to show his feelings. Now I know the truth - he just doesn't have any real feelings.

I saw his true colors during our divorce. He was heartless, unbelievably insensitive and mostly concerned with hanging on to his money.

I was devastated when he left, but I never tried to stop him or wish he'd come back. Mainly I felt hopeful that now I had a chance to find someone truly loving.

I feel regret that I gave my youth and energy and love to someone who liked my outer beauty, but never even saw,knew or cared about my inner beauty.
You have to ask yourself if you want to reach the middle or end of your life knowing that you didn't get what you truly wanted and needed to feel loved. Regret is a terrible thing, because you can't go back to do it over.

oh god. you are so right on..