This is how we communicate on his last 15 min lunch break.
He does txt me religiously on time- which is nice. I think it's the only thing he initiates.
I said - wwill you do me a favor?write me a letter.
H - concerning...
Me - Lots. we don't have many heart to hearts. I'm concerned there's things your holding back on.
H - like what...
Me - things you feel you can't tell me
H -nothing I'm hiding
Me - No silly. Anything. would love to get the written word
H - Alright- gotta go not much spare time to write- ot sat- luv u
I don't know what I was expecting. I know they will deny it to the end. And I almost gave up my hand. I really don't have anything at this point than the fact that she wants him back and some things he says/ does that don't make sense.
He had his brother make a wedding rings for us and we plan on moving out of state in 6/7 months. But nothing would suprise me. I've seen weirder things on here.
This is really keeping me up at night.

Here is the one thing that worries me about what you just wrote: "i have seen wierd things on here" 1st BIG mistake you have been reading way to much! I learned my own hard lesson the more you read about everyone elses problems the more you think that you have the same problem! You have to take a step back and remember that these problems are everyone elses and not yours! I couldnt begin to tell you if he is cheating but the more you read about it the more things you are going to think fit you when in fact they dont.

Personally I have NEVER had any reason to think my husband was cheating. But after months of reading this site I started to think it. I started to make things up in my head and accuse him, which is my problem with my husband. he accuses me all the time which is why I came here in the first place. I had to take a step back and remind myself that this is not my problem but everyone elses problem.

Step back and remember that just because other people are having problems doesnt mean that you are to. You are obviously really insecure right now and honestly reading this site is going to make it that much worse. You have to seperate yourself.

I am not defending him or saying that he is not cheating. All I am saying is that you are making things worse by reading to much. Kind of like when you are sick and you go searching online for answers. Well you find that your symptoms match a lot of things. Gee you could be pregnant, have AIDS,have a cold or just stressed. Have you ever done that? You cant self diagnose, these people are real, the problems are real but they are real for them NOT YOU!

I know and thanks for reminding me.
I'm not the type to be a hypocondriac and think I have everything when I do diagnose myself.
I do need to get a grip though. It's really hard. Forgive me for seeing red flags and flipping out.
If there was a way I could be a fly on the wall for 2 weeks I'd have a definative answer and could make a decision based on what was the truth. But he is not going to tell me the truth. I mentioned the cologne thing months ago and his remedy was to bring a new larger one to my apt so I couldn't gauge how much he was using. He now has 4!
Don't get too mad I'm really frustrated and raw.

I understand self diagnosing I have done it myself. I have sat here and read this site and drove myself crazy thats why I am warning you to be careful. This site is wonderful, obviously I came here a lot and I rely on this place for my own sanity but you have to seperate yourself from other peoples problems.

All you can do at this point is talk to your boyfriend. If he is cheating he wont tell you but at least he will know that he isnt getting away with anything. Tell him you want to see his phone bill and if he wont show you then you know something is wrong. If nothing else confront the other women. Stake your claim let you know that he is yours now, she had her chance and she lost him. Time for her to move on and leave your man alone. If he isnt man enough to do then you have to.

I asked him to write me a letter and said I felt there were things he is holding back. he said he wasn't hiding anything.So I want to see what or if I get a letter.
I finally went to call her ex man and the phone # was disconnected. Now I don't know how to get a hold of him. He may be able to tell me more.
Someone else at my job said to confront her, but I will look like an idiot if nothing is going on AND it will get back to him. In the letter she wrote him she said she was hoping I would turn out to be psycho. Plus I feel it will give her too much power.
I'm still trying my best not to tip my hand too much. It's extemely hard.