I'm married 21 years,(with 3 kids 18,14,11) thought I had a perfect husband. He's very sensitive ,loving, and affectionate. Just found out he had a profile on adult sex site a 3 years back.He denied it at first until I provided proof. Now, he says it was just a fantasy, and didn't do anything. When I told him that I wanted him to take a lie detector test ,he agreed but confessed a few days later to a one night stand while on an out of town trip. (three weeks after the birth of our 18 yr. old )I've caught him in lies over the past 5 years that have made me suspicious. I don't feel like I can believe what he tells me. Has anybody had their partner take a lie detector test? How did it work out for you ? Did it hurt your relationship?

Lie detector or poylgraph tests do work with the exception to some mental patients and some drug users. it will cost you about 300 to 500 dollars for a private polygraph, most private polygraph examiners are ex- police officers.

polygraghs meassure the breathing,heart rate,body temp and skin sweating, all the signs that are given off when a lie is told while the subject sits still in a chair and asked yes and no questions.

all of these you can look for when you confront a subject also asking yes and no questions,

"dont listen for an answer, look for one"

look for: flushed face, rapid heavy quick breathing,sweating,trembling, darting eyes, unnesasary movements,the sound of their voice.

Polygraphs are a tool for police interogators, and some employers require them for certain jobs. subjects are confronted before any test and most will confess to questions they know they will not be able lie too before the test is even administered.

if they dont then they use the data collected during the test to confront the subject about potential lies and into confessing. they are a tool that work very very well, I know, Ive seen them work. If he will take one set it up you'll get the truth from one.

Hi,
I made my partner take a lie detector test after too many suspicious events - lying about his wherabouts, too many hang ups when I answered the phone, change in behavior, the last one was when I pulled up at a place where he was working alone and a woman ran out the side door and jumped over the fence, then a couple of days later a woman rang and told me he was playing up behind my back.
He kept denying he was doing anything wrong but I couldn't believe him as he has always been a lyer. I was desperate to know if he was cheating on me, this was his opportunity to prove he was telling the truth and save our relationship. The main question was "have you had physical sexual contact with anyone other than (me) since we met" he said "no". Ther were other questions about lying etc. The test was done 3 times and he failed all 3. He still wouldn't come clean, he said the tester didn't like him and failed him deliberately. He also said that the only thing he has done was kissed another girl in the early stages of our relationship (10 years ago) and that must be what the test picked up. He put on an award winning performance.
If you do decide to do a test make sure the questions are more specific and not so broad. Ours were a standard set of questions and he researched them beforehand, he already knew what he would say to try and get out of it.
I stayed with him hoping he would tell me the truth and we could sort things out, but after 2 years he still wouldn't tell the truth and I couldn't take it any longer. He continued to lie and life with hime became impossible. I ended the relationship 3 years ago and I am still single.

Marie,
I ended a relatiionship with a liar about 5 mths ago....He lied about everything, where he was, money, how much he drank, even stupid little things! The final straw was another woman and as far as I know hes still with her. Just out of curiousity, is your ex involved with anyone and is he lying to her? Because I believe once a liar always a liar....

To RVRTWNGRL
Your ex sounds the same as mine, lying about the same things.
But he was more than a proffesional liar and a cheat, he was jealous, possesive, controling, a big gambler, drank too much and always blamed someone else for his actions.
He is involved with someone else and I have good reason to believe it is with the same woman, the one he denied he even knew (the one who jumped the fence).
I agree with you, once a liar always a liar especially when they have been lying their whole life and are experts at it. Of course he would be lying to her too, I feel sorry for her but hopefully she will work it out in time.
He was married and divorced before we met and he told me a lot of horrible stories about his ex wife which I now know were lies because he is saying the same things about me.
We have a 9 year old daughter so unfortunately there is still some contact, and more lies.

Hi my H makes the excuse for not telling the truth is that I react badly. He similar lies about drinking, women, etc.
I don't react badly when told the truth in fact I very grateful no matter how bad, but he doesn't and I find out, he wonders why I am upset. I tried to tell him how important trust is in a marriage that suffered infidelity's
show him articles, wrote to him etc. I really not coping well. Has any one got any thoughts about this, it would really help to get some out side views.