a few things.
my husband is turkish and when he was 15 he was made to marry a woman from his village he had 2 children with her the first when he was only 16 years old. he went to work in marmaris when he was about 20. this opened his eyes to the western world and im afraid to say he became one of these love rat types conning western women.(hes been with more than 100 women).
at 24 he divorced his turkish wife to marry his uk girlfriend and came to uk.
he left her after 6 months.
i met him as hes my brother in laws mate and we started a relationship.
weve been together 7 years now and for the first 5 everything was great and we even started a family of our own.
the only thing we disagreed on was the amount of money he sent to his ex wife each month. i agree with him helping to keep his kids but we were paying for her too, she dosnt provide anything for her or her kids.
then he bought a pc, this is when everything went wrong.
he started meeting women online. i found out and asked him not to do it but he just hid it from me.
about 12 months later he had a text maybe 2 night stand that lasted 2 months or so with someone he met out drinking.
then 4 weeks later i found hed gone to meet and internet woman (with £100 he borrowed from me too).
i found out i was pregnant again so we have stayed together.
ive been miserable the past 18 months. he thinks its ok cos he said sorry, smashed up computer ect.
ive just got to forget about it.
ive not even got round the fact hes done any of this.
am i wasting my time?
i feel like although hes no going out as much or going online that its not enough to make up for what hes done.
im also so bored of digging and trying to get these women to tell me what happened.
and him all he says is he wished he never did it and hes not gonna do it again.
can people with his history ever change?
i think he has little respect for me as im a western woman. remember everyone he met hes used to his advantage.
hes a really good dad to our kids and they love him so much.
but something inside mes still broken and im starting to think its gone forever.
maybe some of you have been through the same thing and can help me get my head around this.

why do you want these women to tell you anything? You already know that he has cheated on you, isnt that enough?

Why dont you focus on yourself and your own happiness rather than settling for a man that will never respect you?

Those kids can still have both there parents, you dont have to be married to give your children a great home, if you know what I mean.

Stop trying to reassure yourself and just make a choice. Stick with him and be miserable forever OR take action and create your own happiness, whatever way you need to.

why do i want these women to tell me anything?

i think i've go a right to know what my husbands been doing with these women.
he says he was just taking the pi** with most of them and talking dirty with some of the others.
the thing that really gets to me is over half of these women were (mingers) i mean proper beach whales and almost all of them were 10 to 15 years older than me.
this opens up a whole new question with me then over how my husband acctually sees me?
the one i phoned and spoke to was 10 years older than my hubby and had a child as old as me. her husband had run off from her with an american lover he'd met online.
when i asked her why then she was looking to do the same meet men off the internet instead of like normal people do in real life? she could not answer.
this then makes me realise that the majority of these people that go on line looking for love are:-
sad and have no social network
mingers (unlikely to be able to attract the opposite sex)
have no respect for themselves (would offer sex out on a plate, even a street walker has more respect for themselves and won't put it about for free)
or just out to cause trouble in peoples lives.
of course this is only my opinion which reflects upon my situation, but i bet theres a lot of you on here that have been affected in some way. actually i think another thread would be useful to find out why people go online looking for love?

oh over the sti thing i thought it best just to send all hubbys OW an e-mail saying he'd caught an sti and they ought to get checked out. i hope they find it as degrading as i did when i had to go and worrying and stressful. maybe it will make them think twice before jumping into bed with strangers.

You do have a right to know what your husband has been doing but it sounds like your taking it to the extreme.

You will never know everything. It seems like you are spending all your time researching and verifing what he has been doing rather than focusing your attention on your marriage.

He has all these women that you know of, why dont you just leave him? He will not change and by waisting all your time with these OW your not doing anything about it either.

Stop doing this to yourself and move on. This is who he is and you deserve better. Your waisting your life away trying to catch him. You already know that he is a slim ball so just accept it and move forward. Years from now you will regret the time you waisted.

i know what your trying to say to me.
hes not contacted these women for 18 months and he changed when he was doing that. hes not been like that for the first 5 years he was a great hubby. he had a dodgey 6 months i caught him and hes not done anything since. the last 18 months hes tried really hard its me thats pushing him away. i need to trust him again how and when i dont know but i've got to try.
nobody said marriage was gonna be easy and im not letting some mutton dressed as lamb ruin my future and my kids future.
sorry if this sounds like im sl**ing him and then siding for him but its a bit confusing.
leanne

" i need to trust him again how and when i dont know but i've got to try."

Why do you need to trust him? and why do you have to try?

If you making these statements then you have already made up your mind to stay with him, you will have to live with that feeling in you stomach every day, the constant thinking and worrying about what he is up to? why is he late? where is he at? is he with another women? that answer he gave didnt sound right? I think hes lying? etc......
its going to burn you up, and he will just take extra precautions to NOT get caught and then your children will suffer having to watch their mother through all of this until the day he tells you he wants a divorce.

if you think he will leave you for someone else then you need to take precautions, and were you his other women at one time?

quit worrying about the women he's been with or had contact with,you will never know the extent but you can expect the worst.

I do feel for you though, your situation is a difficult one.