Im not sure what to do or where to turn today. Im a big liar, usually to cover up something I am ashamed of (smoking or drinking) and have been caught in many lies time ater time by my BF. Ive tried (maybe halfheartedly) to be more honest but just last night he caught me lying again. I really want to change and I know things would be so much easier if I just was honest but at the moment it seems easier to (for example) smoke and say I wasnt smoking then to have him upset or to just not smoke.

We have a 10 month old son that I dont want to teach this behavior to or be such a horrible role model for. I want to change and I have been trying to lie less and fess up to my lies when caught. I think I have pushed my BF away for good though (I dont blame him for feeling this way). Last night when he caught me in my lie he said a lot of things that were painful to hear but I guess good to know he was thinking. He said I look 10 yrs older than my age, that I am ugly and many more things I cant even bring myself to think about again. I know this is very selfish because he has put up with SO MUCH from me but I dont know that I can ever get past the things he said about me. We both want what is best for our son but I dont even know how to begin that. Even if I can change, I think I have put BF through too much and his words really hurt me.

Well, you have taken one step forward and admitted you have a problem. However, you say you want to change for your son because I assume you don't want him to turn out to be a liar. It is all in your hands. You know its wrong, so for the love of this little boy, turn the corner. You will need some help so why don't you find out what is available to you? Do you agree to counselling? Do you know a nice person you can confide in? You owe it to your boyfriend and to your son to be the best person you can, but, most of all, you owe it to yourself.

There must be something buried within your psyche which makes you behave this way. Perhaps you yourself are a victim of your parents' behaviour? All the more to make a conscious change. You boyfriend has said things in anger. We all say things we don't really mean. I am sure he loves you, but smoking can cause premature ageing. Show him that you mean it this time and please for everyone's sake get some help.