my boyfriend and i have been together for over a year now and we have a daughter who is 2 months old. He is very sensitive and convincing. he is extremely into cars, buying parts, selling parts,installing music. he's obsessed. i think he's lying to me all the time about what he is doing. one time, he went to trade his car with someone else's and came back over seven hours later(when he said he'd be 2 hours) with the same car! i didn't even want to hear his excuse. then recently, i've been looking through his cell phone and memorized every girl's name in the phone. so in front of him, i looked through his phone and asked who every girl was. then he said let me bleep my friend and he did and he was pushing buttons. i snatched the phone and a girl's name was missing and so were her text messages. i asked if he deleted anything he said no. the next day i cried asking him about it and he said he did after about an hour of denying it and said she was just a friend and i wouldn't have believed him. there's other things like this that happened too that just add to my questioning of him. i don't know what to do. any help at all?

You have got to stop confronting him. Stop letting him know that you are on to him. What you need to do is go about your life just like normal & as bad as this sounds be sneaky. When he isnt around look at his phone, check his bank account, email, credit cards, whatever you have access to. I know it sounds wrong but that is the only way to find out the truth. If you keep your mouth shut then he will think that he is being slick and he will eventually slip up. He will never admit anything to you so you have to research this on your own. If you keep saying things to him then he will cover his tracks better and you will never find anything.

Best of luck, keep your mouth shut but your eyes open!

Your post made me wonder how I can tolerate my husband's lying. I keep hoping he will eventually open up to me. I don't understand if this is a power trip for him or what. He will tell me he will try to be open and honest, but then I find a credit card bill stashed away somewhere with charges for pornography website visits (I guess) and meals charged at restaurants I've never been to.
I guess he doesn't comprehend how bad and how often this hurts me. And most of the time he acts like a kind and considerate person.
It's so confusing!

Sawinski talks a lot of sense.

It's one of the most difficult things to do but you MUST keep quiet. If you are to discover the truth, you must resolve to be more clever than him. It's a worthwhile investment to gain the truth you need to make informed decisions about your future with this person.

Access everything you can when you can. Take careful note of the information on tis site that will help you to identify the signs of infidelity.

His behaviour is already extremely suspicious. If this person was only a friend, he would have nothing to hide and nothing to fear - his action betray a fear.

Be strong.