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[b]Alone in LA wrote:[/b]
[quote]Thanks.  I like to work out in my home - but, it might be a good idea to get a gym membership.  It would help me get out and meet new people - not to date.  Dating is the last thing on my mind...even though it is the first thing on his...

Does anyone have any [i]good stories or positive outcomes[/i]?  While I am so appreciative of this having the ability to talk with others going through the same pain - it just seems to solidify the thought that there is a lot of this crap happening.

[i]What is wrong with people?[/i]  I just don't understand the thought process of someone who would cheat.  Why not just deal with your current relationship.  If you are not getting what you need - ask for it or leave them.  Period.  Why string them along?  It seems that many people cheat out of fear.  I know that my boyfriend was cheating for several reasons within himself.  I hope that he can figure that out for himself.  But, I can't help but think that maybe I was not enough.  Maybe I could have been more or tried harder.  Rationally, I know I could not have.  I lost over 30 lbs while I was with him (and I only weigh about 110-115 now) so I was not overweight.  I just got so worn down and beat down.  I was ruled by stress and upset while I was bending over backward further and further - in the hopes that someday he would see how much I care and did for him and he would appreciate it.  My back and my spirit are broken now, and I did it to myself by allowing it.

[i]I only have myself to blame for that...and I am blaming myself a LOT right about now.  [/i]I should have known that I deserved better and stopped trying harder and harder - particularly for someone that really, in many fundamental ways, could not have cared less or respected me less.  And, then to have the second chance that I gave him thrown in my face...I am a fool.

[b]He and I BOTH have work to do.[/b]

Oddly, he seems to care now - but he didn't then.  I guess anyone can be "good" for a limited amount of time.  That is why I hate dating.  Everyone is on their best behavior for the first few months then you find out the real person.  Not me...I am an opinionated pain in the ass from day one.  I think that is only fair.

I'm rambling... so, [u]anyone have a positive story to share?  A story of redemption and change?[/u]  I would really appreciate some uplifting thoughts or stories...

Also - [b]anyone know any good blog sites online?[/b]  I am amazed at how cathartic I find it to type out and "share" some feelings.  I think that I would like to do more of it.

Best to all,
AILA[/quote]

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