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[b]jalela wrote:[/b]
[quote]My ex and I had something similar.  He and I had been living toghether for 9 months and throughout our relationship he had been having emotional affairs as well as perhaps sexual.  It got so bad that for months I was asking him to leave, he wouldn't.  He lunged at me one morning and called me "a fucking whore" because I had found a love letter he had written a love letter to his work girlfriend.  Again I asked him to leave.  He wouldn't and convonced me that he wanted me, he didn't want anyone else, he would stop all boyfriend like behaviour with the work gf.  Another 2 weeks went by and again bs was pouring out as usual.  I wrote the work gf who as per him knew all about me and told her all about us.  I told him that I did, and he stated he was ok with that and he just wanted me, well that was until she got the email.  I came home from work and he was acting nuts.  I asked him to leave, he said no I told him I was going to call the cops and he called them.  The police came.  I told them how he had lunged at me and he told them that 2 months ago I slapped him.  The police told me that they can do nothing or arrest us both.  I asked if we both get charged is he allowed back here and they said no, he can not come near me or vice versa.  I got arrested.  It was horrible, but it was the only way to get him out, because he was so good at the lies, that everytime I had found more and more evidence of relations outside of ours he had an amazing reason.
  So 5 days passed, no communication..it was hard, but I was starting to recover from my life being turned upside down, and then he texted me saying he wanted to talk to me.  I responded that we had said everything we needed to say...and that we were not legally allowed to communicate.  But as per usual his textes back to me swooed me into meeting with him.  In my letter to his work gf I had called him a pathological liar.  We met, he looked like hell.  He stated he had been sleeping in his truck for 4 days, he couldn't look at himself in the mirror, he realised he was a pathological liar, he realised how much I meant to him and how much he needs me.  He stated he wanted us to go to counseling and that he had been going to a therapist, he wanted to woo me, date me, win me back.  He didn't want me to forgive him yet, he wanted to earn my forgiveness.  He cried, he had never pulled any of this before during any of our previous fights.
  So, I got suckered in.  The first week was unreal, I felt like we were falling in love again, I was on cloud nine, then the second week he started to resort back to him.  I saw him maybe for an hour at a coffee shop once a week.  Two weeks ago, I explained to him that I needed more, I needed to be romanced again, because it was working for me.  He started to text and email me again.  He took a day off work and came to my cottage.  On Thursday this week, I asked him if we were seeing each other this weekend because he doesn't have his daughter(who he has not allowed me to see since he moved out), and he stated he had been asked to go camping by his friend.  The it became a story of 40 people renting a farm house.  I asked how can 40 guys(apparently no women) sleep in one farm house.  He asked if I was done interrogating him.  I explained that I was still trying to trust him.  but let it slide.  He came to my place on Thursday and spent the night...asked me to pat him on the back that he was making an effort. Hmm.  I knew he would send me an email on Friday, it was his old habit of when he had to do a "work"thing overnight.  He called me as he was driving to pick up his friend who he was going with.  I told him to have a great weekend.
  Something in my gut told me he was full of crap again.  I haver vopnage so I can look up numbers.  I looked at our records from when he lived with me and found his friends number.  By the way have never met anyopne that he knows, no friends and no co-workers.  So yesterday am I called and the guy was home, my enabling self thought well maybe they decided to leave Saturday instead.  So I called back around 5:00pm.  His friend was still there.  So, my bf who states he wants me and only me, who is going to therapy to learn how not to lie anymore, who was discussing with me on Thursday night about when our court trials are over living together again has been lying to me all along again.
  He played me good, I believed him once again.  I couldn't imagine how someone could go through what we did and not mean it.  Why would he call me and date me again if he really wasn't full of remorse?
  Surprise!!!!!!!!!!Once a liar and cheat always a liar and cheat.  I ended things with him by simply sending him a text yesterday that said "we both know you lied about this weekend. Bye."  And surprise surprise have heard nothing back.  Usually he would be all over it.  But, I think he finally realises that this was the last time.
  I am hurt and sad.  I love him and can not believe I allowed myself to fall for his act again.
  So my answer to your post is, maybe some can change, but for me he did not.  And I did everything in my power to make him happy.  I realise it wasn't me, it is him that has the problem, I am just broken from it.[/quote]

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