Lol pops I thought it was me. I re-read your cheaters paradox and didn't see anything there that said that. But it's good to see you back in the fray talking with us. Your words and thoughts could have come in handy a few weeks ago on the women who think it's grand to have another woman's man. But we, on the hurt side, I think held our own pretty good. Nice to see ya hope your doing ok.<br><br>Post edited by: moderator, at: 2006/09/09 11:07
One thing I see missing in all of these is, not only is it very hard to get past the fact the person you love is cheating on you, then lied about it, but the hardship it causes with your close friends. Those who saw the pain you are going through, who stood there beside you, who kept your head above water when the world was caving in. The damage caused there has to be repaired too. I am dealing with that now, my girlfriend lied about the affair until I actualy had the guy on the phone actualy admit what happened. then the cheaters paradox came in. I am trying to rebuild the trust, but there are a lot of others that she will have to rebuild the trust with also. Very few people have the courage to do both...
Yeah Eric your right. I know in my situation I deal with his friends that all were around her and they all act like nothing has happened. They treat me good and all but I know they all were a part in things. They all swear nothing was going on but of course they all protect each other. Women I am sure do the same thing. I have a hard time looking them all in the eye when I see them and not yelling your just as much a jerk as he is for not telling him to stop it. For not saying hey man you have a good woman what the hell are you doing this for. It isnt easy to walk into a crowd of your husbands friends who all knew and hold your head up high. It takes courage and stamina that I didnt know I possess. But Im not gonna let a bunch of jerks break me or take away what I hold so dear. But the pain I feel on a daily basis because of that too? well it hurts as much as what he did too cause I also thought they WERE MY FRIENDS. Funny I found out thru the guys going home and gossiping around their wives and girlfriends. The wives and girlfriends were the ones who finally told me what they were hearing in rumors from their significant others talking. Its a damn shame to be the last one to know. and TO HAVE NEVER SEEN IT COMING to begin with.
Yup, you are right on there. I was lucky, I noticed it within a week or two of it starting. One difference here, all of our friends were on my side, I am just afraid of if we do put things back together, how they might hold a grudge against her for making a stupid mistake. That is if she does learn from this. Oh well, time will tell...
Great site - first time here. I guess why I came here is apparent...
We were seeing each other for two weeks when I find out he brought someone home from the bar one night (we live 14 miles apart). I noticed the change in his attitude immediately when I saw him next - a pleasant, friendly guy was all sullen towards me for no reason.
So when I found out I ask him - and he denies everything! I was fortunate in that the bar owner decided to let me in on his secret - I can never thank her enough. I wrote him a nasty note and stayed away for 2 - 3 weeks.
After that I go back over, hoping he'll come clean. No. The closest he admitted to it was saying, didn't you ever tell a lie? And saying she was a friend who had nowhere to go that night.
I could see it wasn't an ongoing thing, but I think "cheating" is the worse thing in the world one can do to another. And no one should put up with it. Especially if the cheater keeps on lying.
So I told him the other day I'd be taking him to get his medication but if he didn't tell me just what had gone on by the end of the evening (we went out on the town later) then that was IT because I was losing sleep and this thing wasn't going to go away.
So THIS time I found out she slept right in his bed with him! But "Nothing happened! NOTHING HAPPENED!" and the storyline changed around a little. And he's yelling, "You must have told a lie sometime in your life!" to try to put me on the defensive! What a pitiful putz!!! So that was it.
Sorry if this is long but as you can imagine, what a relief it is to tell it somewhere. "Cheater's Paradox": Good name for it!
