Truth About Deception

I don't know how much of a secret this is but I will share it. I am secretly disgusted at my husbands sexual way. He is not good in bed. He chases too many other women then lies to me about it all so that when he comes to bed he gives me these quick little nothing like kisses on my neck.. it is sickening. It makes me want to retch. He walks way ahead of me out in public like he is doing me a big favor to even be seen with me. He is so full of his own self and how important he thinks he is. It over shadows everything else. I at one time in the relationship missed him when he was gone... now I cant wait for him to be out of the house. I have never cheated on him... nor do I wish to... he is just boring in bed and in and around on a daily basis. I don't tell him because it would mortify him to know what I... a mere nothing of a mudball woman... thinks of his greatness. I go along with it so he stays in his self delusion. The women flirt with him all the time. He has been with several women sexually in front of me. So that now when he touches me it just plain disgusts me. You know.... I don't mind respecting a man.. but he has to earn it... you cant be sleeping around and chasing other women while married and then think your wife is going to love all over you and respect you. It does not work that way. And if your wife is acting that way then she is just pretending until she has her money set aside and herself taken care of so she can eventually leave you.

I'd rather give up sex than books.

I'm pretty sure my boyfriend watches porn when I leave the house. He hides it from me. I think he hides it from me because he's embarrassed or because he thinks I'll get mad (but I won't). I feel like I can't ask him about it because he flies off the handle really easily at the least suspicion that he's being accused or judged. I wish we were able to be more comfortable talking to one another.

I'm married and I'm as gay as gay can be. BUT, I'll never tell my wife and I'll be good to her and keep up the lie as long as we're together, which I hope is a very long, long time.

My hubby of over 20 years confronted me last weekend, asking if I was cheating on him with my boss. He said he felt something in his gut that kept him up all night. He checked our cell phone bill and found out that I had been texting back and forth with my new boss for hours and hours and hours over the last couple of months, like every day, especially at night when I can't sleep (sometimes because I'm fantasizing about my boss). I told him my boss is gay and that we're just good friends and talk about all the teeny boppers and drama at our work, but that's not entirely true. Me and bossy talk about lots of stuff and I love texting with him, and almost getting caught. And I think I get treated special at work for it, too.

But, I don't want to lose my hubby, either. He's always been an absolutely wonderful father to all our kids, he loves me to death and proves it by spoiling me rotten (he just bought me my dream car). On top of that he's a smart, hard-working, funny, and very good-looking man, especially now that he's exercising all the time.

My secret is, I want to tell my hubby that I think there is something wrong with me, because I do have a hard crush on my boss, who is nowhere near as hot as my hubby, and who could never make the kind of money my man makes or be the father to our children that I want them to have. I think I might have some kind of a disorder that makes me want to be living dangerously and that I need to know other guys still find me attractive.

I've cheated on my hubby before and worse, I've fantasized about it with lots and lots of guys throughout our whole marriage. I hope hubby doesn't ever find out how I really feel about my boss and other guys, and I hope I can keep hiding my crushes until they just die off, like they usually do. I know hubby deserves better than me, but I hope he never figures that out. If he does, he might leave me for some hot young girl that will treat him as special as he treats me, and then I wouldn't know what to do.

I have been with my girlfriend for more than 2 years, and she was very good to me. She was also only the second person I had slept with, the first being a one-night stand.

Around this last spring I started to get very depressed and felt that she was holding me back in a number of ways. I didn't take time for any of my favorite hobbies, I didn't talk to her, etc. She also thinks I've slept with many more women because early in our relationship she had revealed to me that she had been through a dark time and slept with a number of random guys. I told her I had more experience than I actually do because I thought it would make her feel like less of a slut, and I care about her.

This summer I set up a fake email account and started chatting with a few likewise-lonely/desperate women through it. I even exchanged a couple photos of my body. When I broke up with my girlfriend because I wanted to go explore myself and figure out where my life was headed, she started snooping on my email, computer, etc. and found these exchanges.

She went ballistic. Over the next two weeks we had the same couple conversations about 300 times over with the answers never changing. Eventually she gave me the ultimatum to either get back with her or she would show all this to my boss, my parents, our friends, everyone. It would completely end my career and life as I know it.

So now I'm back with her and I have no idea what to do. Hello, therapy.

I had a long term affair, and several one night stands, then stopped about 9 months ago. I recently got the itch again, so hooked up with my LTA partner. It wasn't that great. My secret is that my wife is now better in bed than my (soon to be ex again) affair partner is. My wife just doesn't have the DDs, which I absolutely love. But she has the moves now and goes along with pretty much anything I want to do. I do love my wife, and love her even more now because she has changed so much to meet my sexual needs.

Although my husband knew I was communicating with someone from my past whom I was sexually intimate with...I concealed some of the topics and my flirtatious behavior by deleting the messages or speaking with him via voice chat. I felt guilty but had a hard time stopping until I found out he did the same thing. Although I know what he did, I still can't bring myself to confessing that I've did the same thing...

Recently I realized that I've been attracted to my coworker for a very long time. I was in denial thinking to myself that I only felt a sort of brotherly affection for him. Mostly, I couldn't come to terms with it because I'm six years older than him and I've always dated older guys. Even men my age seemed too immature for me.

Over time we became close because we're alike in many ways. We can talk about anything for hours. Our in-depth conversations are fascinating. We've opened up to each other about very similar issues we have both faced (things I had never talked about with anyone else) It has gotten to the point, now, that we're very much emotionally attached.

I am currently in a long term relationship with a wonderful guy. Since I met him I felt he was the one for me. The man I had been looking for. We've made plans to move in together. For whatever reason, our relationship seems to have deteriorated over the last six months (before my coworker) And I'm sure it is a distance problem.. even though I see him.. at least once a week..

Some months back we had a new hire at the office and her presence made me realize how jealous it made me to see him (my coworker crush) talk to her. It was driving me insane.

Things have only gotten worse since shortly after this, he confessed his love for me. I had known deep down that he did. No moves. He simply needed to tell me because it was eating away at him and he knew not to expect anything because I am in a relationship.

I promised to continue being his friend and not see him any differently. Of course it's eating away at me too, but he doesn't know it and I did not tell him because it would have gave him hope.

Over time I've seen his feelings grow stronger for me. I've seen the frustration escape him from time to time in the workplace.. making it more and more obvious..

He comes to me to find some sort of relief. Recently he asked me to tell him to back off, that he needed to hear it.. but I couldn't do it. I can't stand the thought of losing him. Generally I'd run from this situation but I can't because we see each other every day.

The worst part is that I no longer want to run. I want him! I keep running a scene of us in each others arms in my mind. I keep wondering what it would be like to just kiss him. It's driving me insane. I feel that eventually I'm going to set it up somehow..

Even worse still is the fact that it would not be fair to him because I know he really loves me. I can feel it. And what I feel for him is not love, it's lust, it's a crush, and I don't see myself with him.

I'm dreaming up friends-with-benefits type scenarios. I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to hurt my boyfriend, I don't want to lose my self respect.. but I feel this pressure is driving me to throw all caution to the wind! If only one time. This is torture.