Truth About Deception

I haven"t told every body including my psychiatrist about my affair with A. I haven't told P I slept with A. I feel guilty as hell. P is my husband and I am divorcing him for his affair with B. Not because of his infidelity but because he is horrible to me.

Should you confess to cheating?

Yes you should!!!! My story is very long and painful, but I will do the best I can to make it short. I just discovered that my husband had an affair with my sister 8 years ago! The affair lasted for a year and a half and it went on right up under my nose. My sister had to leave her husband because he was on drugs and I let her stay in a mobile home beside my house. I felt so sorry for her and I wanted to help heal her broken heart. I welcomed her and her children into my home. I did not want her to feel alone. I did everything I could to comfort her. I have been married for 23 years to my high school sweetheart. (We have been together for 26 years.) My husband has always been a good faithful man...up until my lonely sister decided she wanted my life!!! At the time, I was going to college 3 nights a week. I had just survived cancer and I was going through a difficult emotional time. While I was at school at night, my sister was in my house with my husband and children playing wife. My sister manipulated my husband's mind and turned him against me by making herself appear to be more compatible with him and by telling him that I had cheated on him several times----which was not true. Anyway, my sister confessed to me years ago that she had herpes. I never told my husband because it was a secret my sister asked that I keep. Anyway, the affair ended after a year and a half. I strongly suspected they were having an affair, and I begged for them to confess, but they never did. However, God brought it to light through my dreams. They thought no one would ever know and they would never confess. They intended to take their sick affair to their grave! However, God says what is done in darkness will come to light. God wanted me to know the truth so He gave me dreams and visions of them together. There was no denying what they had done when the sick details were brought to my sight. I am a christian woman. I am a licensed counselor. However, this betrayal hurt me so deeply that I assaulted my sister and almost went to jail and almost lost my job. It has only been a month ago that this has been revealed. I have been to hell and back and I am still living in mental torment! However, God, my Lord and Savior is my saving grace! He is helping me get through this. My husband has begged for my forgiveness and he has completely submitted himself to the will of God. We renewed our vows on January 1st and we are off to a new beginning. Right now, I have a new husband in Christ. I know that I am not suppose to hate, and maybe I don't really hate my sister, but the negative feelings I have for my sister are so great that I never plan to ever speak to her again. My sister cared nothing for my marriage, for me, or for my children. If you have cheated, you are living in bondage. If you have not confessed, you are a coward! Your spouse deserves the truth! God knows the truth and He will bring it to light! Read the entire book of Proverbs. See what it says about adultery. You will pay now, or you will pay later, but you will pay. If you love your spouse, confess and repent to your spouse and God. Beg for forgiveness and submit yourself to God. Get in church, read the word daily and love your spouse more than anything or anyone on the face of this earth. God first, wife second. God is the only one who can get you and your spouse through infidelity. God is the only one who can give you peace! I am a long ways from being healed, but God is healing me one day at at time and He is restoring me. Today, even though it has only been a month, I feel like I have just met my husband for the first time and we are madly in love with each other. The passion is back and we are inseparable! This is only because we have submitted ourselves to God. God is the answer!!

Several years ago I had an affair that went on for 4 years with a friend that I worked with. They were having marital troubles and so was I so we gradually drifted together for comfort and found excitement in the sexual tension we shared. After a while I became attached to this person and decided that I was in love with them. They returned the sentiment. There were days of just being together whenever possible that seemed to be enough for them but I wanted more and tried to get them to leave their spouse so we could be together. When it became apparent that they had no intention of leaving, I became sullen and depressed as my own marriage was floundering and unsatisfactory. Eventually we came to the point that they wanted to cut ties and I was heartbroken. Rather than give up and try to fix my own relationship, I tried harder to bring them back to me but in the end I finally realized that they still loved their spouse and I had to work things out with mine if I were to ever be able to deal with what I had done. Now years later I am filled with guilt as I never revealed the truth to my spouse even though my friend told theirs. Although the chance of it ever coming out is pretty much nil, I still wonder if I should tell them just to clear the air in our relationship. I love them and really don't wish to hurt them but I often think I'm just a coward who isn't willing to face the music so that it can be resolved finally. My spouse had an affair at one time as well and felt obligated to tell me because they couldn't stand the secretiveness but I believe they would be hurt very badly by my revelation and that is why I haven't done anything yet.

I slept with her friend while she was passed out at her friends house. It was a quickie and very awesome at the same time. I was getting some water to drink and she called me into her room where she ravaged me. I did not resist because it felt so good. She was impressed with my manhood and makes these remarks when we visit her to allude to our night together. My GF says "what was that about?" I just tell her she is high or something. She is 6 ft 2 inches and I am 5 foot 7 inches. She is 34 and I am 49. Go figure?

I was very young when I was abused mentally and physically by a boyfriend for a lengthy period of time. The result was an extreme insecurity complex, and a reliance on sex and sexual activity to make me feel good about myself. I cheated when I was 17, my boyfriend left me. I went on a rampage, sleeping with people to feel better about myself and having 3 week long pseudo-relationships just to feel like I mattered. Then I met another at 18, two months into my freshman year at college, and we fell in love. None of my issues were fixed, none of my problems. I just threw a blanket over them. Then, senior year came and he was gone. I've cheated. A few times. I can't stop I just lose myself and it's like I'm not deciding my actions anymore. I regret it every time, and it's eating away at me, but I have to make him happy I have to be the best I can be for him because he deserves that. He deserves to be the happiest man alive. I hope that I can get through this. I could never tell him, but I hope it never comes out. I pray to God. Don't ever do this to yourself, it's horrible to deal with.

i cheated on my partner. We have been together for 10 years. She found out about my affair and i cam clean about everything, aside from the number of encounters i had sex with the other woman. It is a lot more than I told her.  Is this detail going to help at all? Cheating is cheating, whats the difference if I did it 1 time or 50 times? Why do I feel bad for not telling her the true number of times (I never counted) so I don't know, but it was more than 3 times...

I think my fiance has cheated on me but she knows that if i found out id snap and make her dig her own grave and put her there at her final resting place. I'd definitely be the main target of her investigation but it would be a crime of passion not premeditated. I would be prepared for the consequences but would feel lost and without her forever regretting what i had done. She knows I'm an educated, smart man who has a bright future ahead and our relationship is 6 years strong. I think because I have dedicated so much time, effort, and financial backing, and sacrifices for this woman the above described outcome would be the chosen path. Not something im proud of but just something I feel strongly about. Keep in mind I am not abusive verbally or physically and she can attest to this. However, i told her that if i caught her going outside of our relationship that i dont know what i would do. And that was 5 years ago said, and she's had plenty of time to contemplate moving on without me without consequence.

I already have my masters degree and she is finishing up hers doing an internship in Africa now and I exposed a possible infidelity while she was at her grad school hours away last December (before she went to Africa this past august) ...I found a few text messages from the same name as a friend of mine when I went to visit her at her school. The text message basically didn't give a complied consent that she had screwed someone but it definitely raised an eyebrow and i confronted her and called out the guy prematurely which was no good on my part because i almost made her get in the car and drive hours with me so she could see this guy in pain... who had taunted me over HER phone. Turns out it was a guy with the same first name as my friend but a totally different phone #. I know it was part negative attention on her part but i want to know if she crossed the line or not. Having sex with hotter girls has crossed my mind but doesn't fill a void with my relationship problems with her. Id need closure with her before I slept with another woman. And even then i couldn't replicate what we had or will have in the future. This is my only demon.  I'm drug free!

I cheated. It is killing me and she comes home tomorrow. If she leaves I am out on the street and divorced. If she stays and I tell I deal with hostility and sadness forever.

If I hide it, she stays happy. I will be miserable but I deserve it.

I've started having an affair with a married man I work with and I haven't told a single person. So far we haven't had sex but we're working up to that. I know he wants to have sex but he's so afraid someone will find out so we don't get a chance to be alone often. We're "sexting" every day at work and most every night. I'm really jealous of his wife and hate hearing him talk about her. I hate going through the weekends wondering what he's doing with her or if he's having sex with her because I know he still does. I feel like we go through the weeks with me getting him all excited then he goes home to have sex with his wife. I do all the work and she gets the benefit. I'm going through a divorce so I go home by myself, ending up sexually frustrated. His wife is very "prudish" (his word to describe her) and though he's tried to spice things up, she's just not into it at all. He hasn't had oral sex in 12 years! That's where I come in, giving him an outlet for that side of himself. He also says he feels emasculated because she is very controlling and doesn't trust him to handle things. So we've formed a strong emotional attachment because I'm encouraging to him and make him feel like a real man. At the end of the day, I know we need to stop what we're doing before it goes any further but when we try we miss each other's company so it keeps going on.