Truth About Deception

I've read through so many of the stories on the general discussion page about sticking it out and trying and how it all worked out....seems impossible to me and yet I want to believe it.

I'm wondering who out there is in the process of recovery and healing. I'm wanting to form a group of us who already know that our guts are worth listening to, that we see our own co-dependency but also realize how hard it is to let go of the dream of the relationship or marriage.

My latest, My husband said he really wanted to change this time. I said ok but didn't jump on the wagon. I went to our Pastors with my husband and told them just one year of the 18 year cycle. Much to my suprise they believed me- I was so used to hearing from my husband that I didn't know what I was talking about, making things up, being suspicious, unforgiving, etc. They got tough on him, telling him if he wants it to work he's got to quit faking it and walk a long humble road. It would be nice to see him recover and live a life of integrity but I'm not buying it. My faith is strong and one thing I have learned is to listen to that voice within. I don't love him anymore as a husband and I really want a chance to find my own life. It's hard after all these years that maybe and I emphasize maybe this is the time he turns and I'm wanting to walk away. I know God can restore love and transform people- it's just going to take a long time before I can see that happening and I'd love to share the journey with others. To hear your story, to call me when I'm talking non sense, to cry with, to share our victories with, you get the idea.
Any one want to join me?

I'm just curious, I see that you posted this over 4 years ago. It's very similar to my story, I feel I'm at the end of a 15 year relationship. For the first time he is in counseling and our church is holding him accountable. But will it really matter? I feel it's much too late. What happened in your story?

well, my story hasn't ended yet. I have found out that the only thing I can change is me. through christ i can do all things. Forgiveness dulls the pain, joy in the middle of a storm minimizes anger and prayer is the most powerful tool i have . My husband is still involved and struggling with his decisions and i with mine but i am happy on purpose and do not make him the center of my life. God is and focusing on how i am to live for the lord makes all the difference. i have stopped being self destructive and realizing i do not need to define myself by what my husband thinks of me. try doing the same. but i promise the only results i have gotten have been from prayer time and praying for your husband to change is the prayer you should be praying. Pray for your heart to truly change and seek the lord then you will be blessed.

I started crying just reading your story; it was like I was listening to someone describe my current life..I'd like to have someone there who understands; and be there for someone who's going through the same soul wrenching life.

My heart goes out to you and I will be here when you need a shoulder to cry on because i'll need one to. I just found out today that my husband of two years is a compulsive lier everything in our marriage was a lie and I am heart broken. He has countless dating site accounts and countless emails from women that he has had an emotional relationships with. But it was seems to be someone's else fault and I am the one who is crazy. At this point I feel hurt, anger, rage and I feel alone, the one person that i felt safe with betrayed me.

Alone 78 I will take your name as a sign that he has left.
If so, hang in there. You are NOT alone.

You have 2 years invested in a person who isnt worth a second of your time.

You will get through this.