Truth About Deception

my twin brother and i have always had an odd gut feeling about my mom and our neighbor. My mom and dad have been together for 24 years married in 1998. We were born in 1990. But recently i was able to talk to my neighbors oldest son and finally asked him the burning question ive always wondered. " Do you think our parents are cheating with each other? " and he told me hes known since he was little he would always see my moms car parked near his house and he would notice his dads truck missing. he saw them hangn out alot. hes seen reciepts. He told his mom when he was younger and his mom confrunted my mom and later that day his fatehr beat him and his mother up sent them to the er! He even told me police came to his house and asked him was he at this hotel at this time and date. they asked him if he knew a woman named ....(said my moms name) he replied to them the only lady i know with that name lives behind us...the police said im sorry i ever said anything ! and he notices his dad on his cell phone alot and notices his mood changes when he gets off the phone. his son and i are now starting to work together and watch both our parents more closely. my mom comes home from work and is always on her cell phone and doesnt come in the house until she hangs up. last week i watched her on her fone and textd his son and asked if his dad was arguing on his cell phone and he said yup! ..ive always noticed my mom goes out alot and come homes real late. she always has her cell phone near her and is always texting on it. she always knows what is going on with the neighbor and his kids and always feels the need to share it with us! she always disappears when she is on her phone and sometimes she acts sad or upset for no reason.

ive known about them since i was younger but was blocked by my innocence as a child and often i denied it. but now that i am older i look at facts and annalyze what i see. im so upset with my mom i cry myself to sleep i feel depressed.
last year i found dick pictures from him and texts saying i love u all on her cell phone. and she calls him all the time. he has called our house private all times of the day and when i pick up he hangs up. idk what to do!! last year my brother and i confronted our mom and she got crazy and denied it and said we were cry babies and she got mad at me for going thru herr stuff. she said that " hes in love with her and she told him to stop and leave her alone. she even said another guy does it too (a coworker) " she lied to us and i still hate her for it. i hate the neighbor with so much in me i feel like my entire childhood is a lie and she doesnt care about me becuz if she did she wouldnt be selfish and living her own 2 lives. this guy is a bum and has 5 kids and doesnt have anything going for him his son told me hes had lots of girlfriends and is cheating on my mom too. I dont understand why my mom is doing this to herself and us . she must not understand what she is doing to me emotionaly.

idk what to do about this i need help to figure out what i can do to end this nightmare. i feel like im losing my mind. i dont want to ruin my life becuz of her bullshit but i cant get over what she is doing???

i feel liek my dad has always known but he doesnt do or say anything about it . sometimes i wonder if hes cheated or is cheating too. my dad does his own thing he goes out to eat by himself he goes to alot of concerts and he spends money on whatever he wants. I looked at his pc history and hes really into weird porn about grandmoms and sluts and stuff. he visits pornsites everyday and alot. he has to know. i feel heartbroken and feel that my life is a big lie !=(

ok with your age you are not a child any more... do you still live at home? if you do i would say instead of working to find out what you already know work on moving out and getting away from that life.

not all families are the smily lovey families you see on tv but you do not have to let it control you.

work on moving out... maybe you and your twin can afford a place, then cut ties with mom for a bit any way... then decide if you want to let her back with rules.

but what she does or don't do is her life and yes it is not a good one and i am sure you want to save her but you need to save YOU 1st... it is like swimming and you see some one drowning if your not a good swimmer and you try to save that person you may end up drowning to, you are told send a life line out and they will take it if they wish. you can not make some one care or change.

I agree, your parents' choices are theirs to make. You need to focus on your own life. One thing I know for certain is that you cannot control other people's lives and you will go crazy trying. Separate yourself from your parents and learn from their mistakes.
-Adrienne

You are now considered an adult. You need to try to move on with your life and learn form your parents mistakes. It is not up to you to change your mother, and if you dad has not been able to control her all these years then you have even less chance of doing so, and it will do nothing but cause you misery and forever cause a rift between you and your mom. She is what she is and unless and until they both come to terms with what she and your father for that matter have become and stooped to in their marriage, there is nothing you can do to remedy the situation. What drives them to be so dysfunctional has nothing to do with you as their children. I am sure that they love you and are in truth mortified as the life that they have led, but they will not answer to you for it.

Your best bet is to move on with your life. If you feel you must, then let them both know how you feel about what they are doing, and that you are moving on with your life in a healthy way. That is the best you can do, and I doubt without something drastic happening between the two of them, they will continue.

It is hard to break this infidelity cycle even when one of the spouses finds out and fights for the marriage, but when both partners are ambivilant about it, there is most certainly no hope for a good outcome.

Move on with you life.

Sunny

It is so sad to hear this story and yes while your 20 these days is a young adult..Maby seek some therapy to help you deal w/ some of this junk that will only get in your way and prevent
you from moving foward..Sometimes adults make these decisions for the sake of the child to prevent a bitter divorce which has
really bad results .