Truth About Deception

How might a cheating wife stay in contact with the other person

My wife carried on a sexual affair for 6 months last year. I caught her just by having a feeling that something wasn’t right and gathered evidence for a few months. I confronted her and she admitted to the affair.

Soon afterward the other guy left town. I decided to give her another chance but can't help feeling that she may still be in contact with him, even though I can’t prove it (no evidence of cell phone calls, texts, no emails etc).

Is there anything particular I should look out for?

Response:

I’m assuming that you confronted your wife with evidence of affair. In most cases, some type of evidence or proof is needed to get a cheating spouse to admit to the truth (see, catch a cheating spouse).

While such confrontations are often necessary, they can have some unintended consequences. When cheating spouses discover how they have been caught, they often find new ways to communicate with their lovers (see, game of cat and mouse).

What are some common ways that people try to keep in touch with a lover behind a partner’s back?

  • Disposal cell phones – Cheap, prepaid cell phones can be purchased at Walmart, Target, and Walgreens can easily be kept hidden from a spouse.
  • Internet Cafés – Internet cafes are a great way for people to keep in touch discretely.
  • Arranged Meeting Times – Lovers often set regular meeting times at a specific location.
  • Private Phone Number -- Several phone service companies now allow people to establish a private number where messages can be exchanged.

Hope this help answers your question.


Comments (7)add
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written by lovely lady , 11 April, 2008
Sounds like he knows what he's talking about - I had a similar thing happen with my live-in guy and wonder every day if he's still in touch with the woman and I believe he is, with a cell phone no. He thinks I don't know about, etc. It takes a million dollars to find out what these people are doing and they will lie to you to get out of it - and I have no doubt the woman he was involved with , who is married, comes up with a lot of the ways for them to keep in touch. Nothing surprises me after all the lies I've bee told so I keep my eyes and ears open and will continue to snoop and if I find evidence of contact again, then I may have to do something, so my advice is beware, if you suspect it, it's probably happening!!!
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written by NADILUO , 01 October, 2008
Imagine, after 2o years with my wife, her teenage boyfriend came into the picture recently and they met in his hotel room. There, this so-called gentleman start to share with her all his past problems pertaining to tracing her whereabouts and missing her and sentences like "I WILL DIE WITH MY EYES OPEN IF I DO NOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU'. My wife being rather naive took the bite. Whether they were intimate or not, there's no proof but I approached this man and gave a piece of my mind and I approached his wife too. My wife found about it and accused me of stirring up his family. GREAT! Do you really think so? And what about the pain and sleepless nights which I went through because of this issues? Readers, to me, if it's true that he loves his family and that they are important to him, he wouldn't had played his pathetic role behind his wife and try to get sympathy from my wife. He is just a cheap opportunist who happened to be lonely away from his family (SHANGHAI). My wife still believe whatever he said till today. But due to the 20 years together, we are trying to build back our relationship again and my wife told me nothing physical happened. Just a reunion of 2 old friends. When coming to such issues in life I will confront not only my wife, I will also confront the man and his wife. After all if he does not care for how I feel, then why should I care for how he feels. I know it's bad to seek revenge but think of the logical side of it.
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written by NADILUO , 01 October, 2008
truth or deceptions?
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written by gitridoher , 05 January, 2010
I don't think it's bad to seek revenge, we all need an outlet for the rage that presents itself in these situations. My problem is how do I deal with the embarrassment of missing all the little clues they left behind! From now on, everything will be suspect. I don't want to be taken for a fool ever again!
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written by Parker , 05 February, 2010
NADILUO, you shouldn't call your wife naive. You're naive for believing her when she said she and another guy were in a hotel room and they did not have raunchy sex. Believe me, that guy and her had passionate/rough sex. Don't lie to yourself. Either have an open relationship with her and you get to have your little "meetups" with women or call the whole marriage off.

I can't stand it when I hear people say that they want to stay together because of the kids, or because they were together for 20 years. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE! You made monogamy work for 20 years, good for you. Now move on to someone who will love you better.
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written by stonereach , 14 November, 2011
The biggest part about finding out about my wife's affair after 16 1/2 years of marriage (that it had gone on 2-3 years prior to finding out) is that I DO NOT KNOW THIS WOMAN AND I DO NOT DESIRE HER ANYMORE. I think she is attempting to be very kind to me for fear I may leave her. Nut my life with our children has been a LIE and REMAINS A LIE because she refuses to tell me the things I NEED TO KNOW so that I have SOMETHING which I can say she risked for our marriage. BUT SHE RISKS NOTHING and i don't want her anymore. Also, the Man who did this must suffer BECAUSE HE DESTROYED AN ENTIRE FAMILY-I AM NO LONGER THE PASSIONATE FATHER I ONCE WAS AND HAVE DEPRIVED MY CHILDREN OF A REAL FATHER! ALL YOU ADULTERERS MUST BE KILLED so as to "sober-up" the others who are still "thinking" about doing it.
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written by Rob71 , 18 November, 2011
Hey Stonereach, I understand your feelings. I found out my wife had 3 affairs and there was 3 people I wanted to kill. Thank god I didn't act on those feelings. She had another one. I jumped into the guys car and shook him up and scared the crap out of him.

We broke up and she begged me to take her back. The relationship was volatile after that. I am a wreck and fantasize daily about killing these people but I won't do it. Not because they don't deserve it because I deserve freedom and my kids deserve to have a father who is not in prison.

For a while I was a bad father after I learned of the affairs. I was so depressed I could barely function as a human being never mind be a decent father.

I gave her yet another chance and she kicked me out a year and a half later. She was seeing a married man. I harassed him over the phone until he confessed to his wife. Then we had a fight which was broken up by his son.

She begged me to take her back again...We have been apart but more or less dating for about 2 years now. I don't know why I take her back and I still want to kill those scum but if I do that, then I ruin many lives not just the lives of scum. I have reached the conclusion that there are many people who live in this world that should have been the load their mother swallowed.
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