Added Info...
written by Lealand , 02 November, 2006

I do know where the fears come from... my last serious relationship ended with my gf lying to me about seeing someone else, a friend of mine, even though there were plenty of signs - him calling only when I wasn't there, going out with him and staying out much later than she said she would be. So I'm just kinda nervous this may be heading down the same path. I'm doing my best to not be paranoid and not smother her... give her some space... I think that may be a start, but I'm not sure where to go with it... I don't know how to prove to her that I'm not snooping and I do trust her.

me too
written by candrewsff , 03 November, 2006

I feel the same way about my gf. she has these text messages to her guy friends that kinda make me feel like crap, but I don??t want to make her made so I just pretend to have not seen it, but when I??m with her, she??s just not happy with me anymore, and it feels like she??s distant from me even though we??ve been going for two years and she thinks everything is going okay... I??m just a little depressed.

Well... its done
written by Lealand , 14 November, 2006

As an update, She ended up cheating on me with the person I suspected online. We have broken up and I am now paying for my snooping... A hard learned lesson.

Sorry to hear it, maybe you can advise me, please
written by Andrea , 29 November, 2006

Firstly, I don't think you were wrong in snooping if the other person was lying or behaving suspiciously and refused to reduce your suspicions.

I'm dealing with a current situation and I don't know what to do. This past June, my partner got a real good job and was very busy. I was pleased because we were coming up to three years living together and he had originally moved in because he was unable to keep his home. I soon found out he was spending more and more time out in the evenings, sometimes coming home as late as 4am. I didn't get alarmed about this because I knew he and his buddies would sit up all night as I had witnessed this many times. However, he suddenly stopped having sex. Stopped dead. No explanation and suddenly wanted space, lots of it. Couple of weeks later he claimed his parents had flown abroad and he had to watch the house for them because his sister had just watched a baby and couldn't. Odd thing, his parents home, which I have never seen because I have never met them, was full of all the techy gadgets to prevent burglary. He started going over on weekends and coming home during the week and now he is here two times a week and never on weekends. Every time he comes home I say hello and am immediately told to shut up, that I talk too much and he goes on with hours of criticism or name calling, even though I haven't seen him for days. He calls me and does the same now. He has restricted my calls, emails and texts to emergencies only. He has abandoned his animals, the kids (not his), and me. I have spoken to him about this and then discovered through a series of snooping incidents and his own stupidity at leaving evidence lying around that he was cheating. I have found long brown hairs, seen an email where he was asking the woman for sex, and now have found proof that he is not traveling abroad alone for Christmas, which he normally spends with me, but with the woman I suspected he was having an affair with. He has told his boss, where he is the manager, and got me what he said was a better paying job, that I was just a friend and that he was going out with the other girl because he said his parents think he lives in a condo downtown when in fact he lives with me and my kids. He speaks to this woman behind closed doors on his cell and I occasionally over hear the conversation. When confronted he has said different things at different times (days later) that she is his sister (I spoke to his best friend and he does not have a sister by that name), a client (not sure), and just a friend. She comes to drop him off and pick him up sometimes,but neither of us are allowed to meet. Last night we both had a full blown fight and screamed at each other. I asked him why he finds it hard to just be considerate and tell me about this woman or let me meet her to ease my suspicions. Any mention of this and he says I am paranoid, crazy and psycho and he is feeling smothered and caged. I avoid the topic and try to be cordial, but he loves to fight and tries to engage me and then blames me. I have not told him about the plane details for Christmas because I am having a terrible time deciding what to do. If I tell him what I know then I am breaching his trust, and he will hide more, but if I keep it secret from him, I am dying inside from the pain, hurt and betrayal. I love this guy so very much and I committed in my heart, would die for him, but he has betrayed me and I don't want to lose him, yet I feel I already have. I am scared because the anger inside of me is building and I am scared I may do something stupid, not to me. I cannot understand why he insists on staying when he can afford to leave. He is harassing me at work through the company emails and I feel so nervous that doing my work, even remotely from home is making me feel physically ill. I feel like selling everything and going into hiding. I am so confused. I am scared about losing my job so I have forwarded all his emails to another account of mine, just in case. He has already threatened my job before I started it, and now swears and puts me down in the emails he sends. I don't have anyone else to turn to. I am so distressed, lonely, scared and in a panic that I cannot eat, sleep or do anything. I would give anything to make this end, but if he won't leave and he keeps being verbally abusive and threatening my job, what do I do? Please help me.

Concerned
written by notsaying , 03 December, 2006

Hi there, I am really concerned for you. Not because that ass of a guy is manipulating you and in need of a restraining order but for your complete lack of self confidence and self belief. With or without him you can still live, you can still cope and I am sure you have much more talents and abilities than you even know. Think about you, focus on your own goals and dreams. You are only encouraging this type of relationship. Don't you think you are worth more than lowering yourself to almost begging someone you don't trust to stay with you. You are a person wiling to give everything you have for someone and you sound like you are very loving. Concentrate on yourself and your happiness because this is an unhealthy road you are on and you DO deserve better. Detach from him emotionally, do not answer any calls, do not in any way encourage his threats. If it continues and you really think he could be a bit of a psycho..you should really contact the police and you should definitely speak with someone you can confide in about this, you are not alone his behavior is not ok and you DO not deserve this and you do deserve better.

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written by armyguy4u , 26 April, 2009

I am dealing with the same trust probs, like i have the best gf i could ask for, but sometimes i just cant help but think like, she is so beautiful, and so outa my leauge, and it makes me feel like one day she will realize it, and move on. I dunno i guess its just me, i just cant help but think how most guys are, and it doesnt help at all. Like deep down i know she wouldnt mess around, but i keep comparing her to my last marriage, and things go down hill from there... I dunno i just need some help i guess

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written by Eugene , 28 May, 2009

I have been cheated on by 9, yes that's 9 different women in my past, some I loved and others I just cared for. I have dated more women than this and was not intimate with all.

The 9 I fell in love with or got serious about were all trustworthy or so it seemed at start of relationships and we both got on fine. Why after from a few months to 4 years did 9 women cheat on me.I never developed trust issues until late 1994 after cheating women # 6 came along.

Currently in another relationship and attending counseling but this is a long distance one and I the anxiety and uncertainty is doing my head in. Any advice?, I am not controlling or demanding, just scared it will occur again.

Thanks E

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written by Kyle Kyle , 19 June, 2009

Yeah, Andrea leave him. simple. you deserve better.. and i am currently in a bind as well. i snooped, not gonna lie. my gf used to be with her best friend (also a girl) and my gf started hanging out with me.. a lot. one thing led to another and my gf was now cheating on her gf everyday and night. now to this day (that was a year ago, btw) i have her, but i checked her phone, and her ex is saying stuff like, "hey baby.. and kisses (Muah, kiss kiss etc..). and other things." Idk what to do. I ignore it for the most part, and just try to talk to her as much as possible. she says she has told her ex to stop saying Sh*t like that, and to just accept the fact that they are not together anymore, and never will be. i have never heard this myself. and there has only been one time where she has ever stuck up for something i said >> i called my gf and asked her something (i don't remember exactly) and her ex was like "Ok Baby!" i told my gf to tell her to shut the f**k up. and she did. but that's the only time.. idk my girl is real good to me. and doesn't seem like the cheating time. Our sex is freaking amazing cause it puts her to sleep or wears her out after she Climaxes or w/e :p so i'm sure there is no problem there. just thought in my head that won't leave that she might just be doing something. maybe not idk. any comments?

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written by Scared anyone help please , 06 October, 2009

Wow guess Im not the only one that has this problem. Me and my girlfriend both live together and we both have one kid not with each other she was married to her kids dad she is going through a divorce rite now, I guess my problem is that they text back and forth everyday all day long, send pics to each other. He lives in a different state so I understand that they still would talk for there kid but all day everyday how much can u have to talk about . She is very!!! Secretive with her phone she has a password block on it and when I go sit next to her or go around her she turns the screen off every time I have assess to the phone bill and I know she has been texting other guys from her work to she swears that she is not cheating and doesn't want to be with anybody but me. But some times I do not feel that way I love this girl with all my heart and so does my kid I love her kid as well . I don't know what to do this is effecting me in so many different ways I'm always stressed out now and it's effecting my work performance big time what should I do????

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written by Dan , 19 October, 2009

I'm so glad this post is still going. I'm worried sick I can't sleep at the moment, hence why I'm on here. Things have been rocky between me and my girlfriend over the past week and a half. Its mainly my fault. She is into musicals and just completed an amateur production, in which she had to fake kiss a guy called Brendan, which I was funny about - I really don't like the idea of her kissing anyone else, even if it is 'fake'.

So I went to see the show on a Saturday night and turned away each of the 4 times she had to kiss this guy, but because I got caught off guard 2-3 times they were to kiss I caught the first second or so. It really upset me. After the show I put my arm around her, but didn't say much. She had to leave soon after, to go to a cast party. She was really upset that I didn't say well done.

I didn't talk to her the next day, I was really upset, I know she hadn't cheated on me but its just how it felt, I couldn't help the way I felt. To try to cut a long story short, we had a fight and she told me shes confused, because I treated her badly and then of course shes getting support/condolence from this guy Brendan. She insists hes a really nice guy and not sleazy and understands shes in a relationship. However, they probably have more in common than her and I - I'm only assuming, I don't know the guy.

So we've been trying to patch things up and she insists she doesn't want to break up with me, but she no longer says "I love you" to me among other things she used to do, and on top of that - I know I shouldn't have its really bad and stupid of me but I logged onto her email and looked in her deleted messages and there were several messages from this guy and from her to him - they didn't say much at all, but they had Taylor Swift songs attached. Love songs. I'm freaking out, we've been together for nearly 3 years and I love her so much. Just 2 weeks ago she loved me back just as much, but this fight we had and this guy have made things rough.

She's been hurt in the past by guys who have cheated on her and treated her like dirt, she's really the last person in the world who I could imagine hurting me or someone else in the same way she's been hurt. But seeing those emails broke my heart. She says shes just friends with him but I can't shake the feeling she's thinking of leaving me for him (I know she has been texting him). I have no one else I can tell about this, I have tears running down my face as I type this. Its just the hurt of being told she isn't going to leave me and she "still loves me 90%" but at the same time it looks like shes looking for alternatives and its my fault, I've lead her to do this. There are so many more details or factors to this story, but that's the gist of it.

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written by Chris Bandt , 05 November, 2009

Guys you have to fix the problem with yourself! make your life great. Do your best at every thing you do. Know that you are a good person and that she is as well. If you change the way you feel about yourself you will not worry about her looking around.Worry will be replaced with only love, love, love . I lost the one i love more than anyone on this earth a little over a week ago, because i didnt love myself. I screwed up big time wanting to see texts and thinking she was out looking for someone.In my hart i know she would never do such a thing.It the little voice in my head saying your not good enough.I read this book called the four agreements and it pointed out how i was always putting my self down and how to change it.Now all i can do is pray that she will see ive changed and give me another shot. Guys dont loose the one you LOVE learn to love your self! It is the worst feeling loosing the one you love over things you could have changed quick!

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written by Is it me? , 12 November, 2009

my gf blows hot and cold from time to time. we've split up a few times and she always comes back and says its not what she wants and she loves me, then things go great for a while... but every time she goes cold i feel the urge to snoop

and when i do i find texts from other guys. this time its off an ex of hers and they were discussing the good times they had together - and how hes cold and bed and wishes she was there...

i believe her when she tells me she loves me, but this is not the first time i have found material like this in her phone, but if i confront her about it i am told its my fault im hurting cuz i her phone is private and i shouldnt go looking through it. foolishly i then start to believe i am the untrustworthy one and she then never lets her phone out of her sight...

im at my wits end =( ive never even looked at another woman since i fell for her... i dont understand why these things are going on...

am i in the wrong? should i confront her and confess i have been through her phone again?

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written by Dan , 13 November, 2009

@Is it Me?
Its not you mate. I have a similar thing happening with my girlfriend at the moment. After resolving things and telling her not to talk to this guy anymore, she still does. She also changed her email password so I don't have a clue whats going on behind my back.

Just like your girlfriend, she says that I'm the one she wants to be with and she loves me, but that trust that was there has been broken. One night she got a text from this guy, but she only half let me read it, like there was more to the message she wanted to hide - then she quickly deleted it. Could just be embarrassment on her part but it seems like more.

I know how you feel mate. Its hard when you love someone so much and they do hurtful things to you. I'm the same as you - since I've been with her (2 years 9 months) I haven't so much as looked at another girl. I don't want anyone else, she's that special to me.

I just get the feeling she's with me just for now, like I'm just temporary until she meets someone better. She's said things to lead me to believe this, its not just me thinking nonsense.

The grass always does seem greener on the other side, I just hope she doesn't do it again and ruin the truly special connection that we have.

While her phone is private and she does need to have privacy, I know why it hurts you - if she truly loves you, why does she have anything to hide?

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written by Dan , 13 November, 2009

If our girlfriends don't want to hurt us, they wouldn't be hiding anything (that is hurtful) in the first place.

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written by more , 28 November, 2009

Same situation. I am 25. 27 yr old GF lies about where she is going, lock on her iphone. Hides texts. Gets defensive. I have found enough evidence. She has no job, neither does this other guy. I love her.

You gotta watch the warning signs. A friend of mine had the same quotes "I need space" "I need to get to know myself". Turns out going clubbing, not coming home at night any more and lying about meeting with friends, but instead meeting with this guy is more important.

It is just a really shitty situation. She has no car, no job and cannot move out until she gets both. So therefore, i am forced to figure out what the hell to do in my head. The easiest thing is to just break it off like said above and kick her out. Maybe it is because i am kind and do not want her to be kicked out on the curb.

She has just changed 180°. The only thing she really gets motivated is to go out partying and out to eat with her friends. She shows no responsibility and lives in La La land where consequences do not matter.

I will update when this is resolved. Obviously she has directed this relationship into only one direction.

Just sucks. The bad thing is, all of my friends who have broken up recently have been because of a cheating girlfriend. Leaving decent guys with decent jobs and futures for people who have no jobs and live at home with parents or live off of parents money because they are not self sustaining.

Well just had to vent anonymously and so i can come back and help out people if i remember too. It will be an intense next month i am sure. Especially with holidays. Sucks huh?

Now, this will not change me into a cheater, but I will carry more baggage into my next relationship for sure, which really sucks.

I just need to grow a pair and end it probably. I am not a door mat and no one deserves to be.

The easiest way for me is to remember that this is NOT the person i fell in love with. Priorities, actions, feelings, emotions, dedication...those have all changed to a negative. Keep that in mind fellas, please. That is what you really need to know. The person you are trying to be with, is no longer that person.

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written by more , 28 November, 2009

To "is it me" It is not you. I have been reading a lot about the psychology and the actions when someone is lying. They will turn it back around on you very quickly. Because they are cheating.

Dude it hurts. You can see all the responses above. It hurts. Good guys get the shaft a lot. Some find good girls.

And you know what
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you.

Everyone should remember those of course.

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written by generatinve man , 01 December, 2009

I have seen these issues over and over with the women i date. you either trust them and have a good relationship or get what you want from it or get out if it is too difficult for you. always remember men, you will never obtain your woman. she is hers and only hers, not yours. when you know this you will have a much better experience. women by nature are not cheats, but can easily be persuaded to cheat. expect they will and and you can either waste your time by trying to find it, or have the relationship you want. Men hear this...!!! stop trying to marry women its a waist of time and a ego crusher. you are programed to have multiple partners. never stop perusing other women even in a relationship it will hurt you. let your woman do what and who she wants. STOP acting like a sissy and worrying bout it and start living.

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written by Don't worry gentlemen , 09 December, 2009

Hey Guys,
I have never been cheated on (nor wish to be as I can only imagine the heartache and sorrow I'd feel). The best way around ALL your posts is to treat her the way she treats you. If you text her at 9:00am just to say good morning, DO NOT text her until you receive your response from her. A relationship works in a 50% / 50% manner. You SHOULD NOT give 80% and receive . However, if she says she loves you then she does. There are certain actions that guys take (and us guys don't deserve the consequences because we do it out of love) such as being clingy / smothering her, however women take this to be a rather hovered kind of feeling. A lot of women do like their independence and want to be "allowed" to do their own thing. When my girlfriend and I first started the relationship she'd say she loves me. She'd call me, text me, say she missed me etc... Now, she barley text messages she'll rarely say she loves me, i have snooped through her phone and don't see any communication with other guys. What is making her behave in such a way (AFTER 4 MONTHS in the relationship)??? (I know she isn't cheating cuz her daughter is her life and she's always at home)

Simple... I am being to clingy. I'll call her to tell her I miss her her response is no longer "I miss you too baby" but is now "oh ya?". My response back would be "you bet". I know we want to be affectionate and we want to loved just as much as we love them however, the reality to these types of situations are that girls want a dominant man. Yea sure tell her you miss her just not all the time. Tell her you love her, just not all the time. Hold / cuddle her just not all the time... My girlfriend says i'm to clingy sometimes and that's acceptable. I simply say to myself, if i'm to clingy and it's pushing her away from me, then i'm going to stop. Why do we have to change and they cant??? again... simple... We have to give women what they want.

After thinking long and hard as to how I should react to her saying i'm too clingy and not txting me when she's at work anymore or answering my calls as often... i have come up with this solution.

They want space - Give it to them,
They dont want to be touchy freely - Don't be
They say you're too clingy - STOP (i know it's hard but do it for your sake)
They say no to sex because they don't feel like it - say sure babe not a problem I just thought you felt like it and to be honest I don't feel like it either... Then just DON'T ask for sex EVER until she asks you... and when she does ask you, SAY NO... it will throw her right off...
When she wants to cuddle / hold you - Say no like she did...
When she texts you - don't text back right away... you're busy just like she was too busy to text you back.
When she calls you - don't answer right away call her back later.

By taking these actions you are doing what she has done to you... not that it's payback or anything but i've always told her, treat me the way you want to be treated. So if she treats me this way, I'll treat her the same... It doesn't mean that she loves you any less or that you have to love her any less. I know it will kill inside to take the actions i have suggested however to save your relationship, you must do this. Love your self first. You can not love someone if you don't have love for yourself and you cannot expect them to love you either. Why should she love you if you don't love you... Women like men to show independence simply because it shows a strong character. "Oh he doesn't need me, but he's still with me..."

My last peice of advice, we are nice guys (i can tell from reading all your posts) just make sure you tell them and show them that they should not take your kindness for a weakness. But if you say it, SHOW IT... don't say something and do something else because that will make you loose your credibility.

Remember guys: You don't even have to tell them that you're upset or mad or that you didn't like what they did... just show them and they'll come running at you... this will fu*k them right up and they'll be like WTF!! Why is he not answering my calls now, why isn't he responding to my text... some girls may even be stubborn and not text you back when you finally respond to their texts... they want to see if you will flip. Women can be extremely intuitive like that at times and they don't even know it... but stay strong and confident. And when you do finally talk, DO NOT BE UPSET / ANGRY / MAD... Show that you are THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WORLD for no reason (and they'll tell themselves why is he so happy i haven't communicated with him for however many hours / days / weeks) YOU SHOW YOU'RE HAPPY WITH OR WITHOUT THEM and they will LOVE YOU RIGHT OFF... women want a strong and independent man.

LOVE YOURSELVES because all you guys on this post seem AWESOME and really nice.. Nice guys don't have to finish last.

Please reply as I would like to know what you guys thing of my comment.

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written by Flopmop , 24 December, 2009

Thanks so much Don't worry gentlemen. Your positive outlook helped me so much and though the steps taken did suck at first, I found myself actually more able to be independent and strong, able to have fun and not worry though alone. It just brings me back to the idea I guess I lost of that I was happy and functional alone and that when she joined my life she just enhanced it to be better...then I got codependent. Thanks so much for the reality check and I think it has really saved my relationship.

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written by secret , 25 December, 2009

Hehe thnx dude above, I actually know all this and its great advice for getting a girlfriend, I just thought to be truly happy in a long term relationship that you could bypass all this bs and just communicate your way through your problems but that only works if the other party is able to digest what your saying. There's a time and place for communication and there's a time and place for being a dick. It's dick time.

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written by aaaron , 06 January, 2010

I met a beautiful girl but she is so flirtatious. The first time i met her she was getting banged by one of my friends doggy style while my brother had his dick sucked. But we started hanging out every single day all day pretty much. Now we both love each other but everyone at her school and my brother tells me to stay away from her. She is a pathological liar. I dunno what to do I cant imagine seeing a different face then hers I want it forever. Im officially a pussy trapped in this prison called love. Im fucked and need solid advice that is not hateful to women. Here's my question... How come men can fuck as many girls as they want till they find a good girl then can settle down and everything is alright, when girls cant be promiscuous till they find a good guy like me? I am such a good guy and cute. She texts dudes tho and even her ex telling me shes friends with her ex's. I know its hard to imagine her not cheating but im with her allll day tho! last night she went to a party tho didnt invite me and called a dude named tom. he texted her the next day on her bday and said happy bday my lil buttercup with a heart. cant wait to celebrate. what do i do please im fucked like my heart is gone

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written by ...... , 18 January, 2010

hello, my girlfriend lied to me about texting another guy. should i be worried? idk what they talked about or anything im just a little upset about it.

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written by Duck , 22 January, 2010

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you can guess what it probably is. These are the types of situations that give you that little feeling in your gut that all the experts say you should listen too. Find out what is truly going on or you will not be able to trust completely.

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written by jason dobbs , 30 April, 2010

So, my girlfriend is in a sorority, she likes to party all the time but says shes being faithful and only wants to be with me, but lately she has been going to the local bars with her sorority friends because they all recently turned 21.. every time she comes home after the night, I look at her phone and there are text' from random guys. I never brought it up because I'm sure it would do more harm then good, but tonight took the cake, she came home late, all horny (which she never is, I'm actually sure she just wants to make love after she flirts with other guys) and she grabbed her cell when I was laying next to her in bed, she started to delete her inbox and sent messages while I watched, she said something about her mailbox is full and her phone wont receive incoming messages when it is (it's an lg vu), anyways I'm watching over her shoulder and I just happen to catch the name Nate Michaels, right before she hits delete all. I looked up her facebook and its no guy she was currently friends with, which clearly means they met tonight. Now I have all these crazy visions of her grinding on some dude at the club and coming home to make love with me while she thinks of him.. it's fucking bullshit.. I'm so tired of it but I love her so much. I'll probably just bring it up in the morning and she will flip the argument and yell at me for going through her phone..well news flash… I GO THROUGH YOUR PHONE BECAUSE I DONT FUCKING TRUST YOU.


Ok I think I'm done venting. thanks.

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written by The Truth About Women , 02 June, 2010

Guys ---women in this culture we live in are nothing more than manipulative and self serving. In the immortal words from the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin - 'Don't put the pussy up on a pedestal". As you get older you'll realize that women are beneath and inferior to men ....they know this and they use and manipulate men to make up for it. Just look around at the buildings and house we live in, the cars we drive, the computers we use, the roads and airplanes we use-----all created by the brute strength and focused intelligence of a man. Keep your dick under control - they use this only to manipulate you. Peace.

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written by Dae , 06 June, 2010

First of all thank you all. These posts helped a lot.

I have been with this girl for several months and things moved far too fast for my liking. Even went so far as to ask to slow down. But it didn't and now we are living together.

She has had very bad experiences with all of her relationships. She has been beaten, used, cheated on etc, etc. Apparently part of the reason we moved so fast is that no one has ever treated her well. I mean, what woman has never received flowers?!?

But, she texts and parties with her numerous guy friends a lot. This wasn't in issue for me before because I hang out with female friends on occasion. But I am not a cheater, never was.

Tonight I overheard a conversation she was having with an ex. Didn't think much of it until I heard the tone of her voice. She was being flirtatious and sounded like she missed him. A lot.

This conversation with her ex, her hanging out with guy friends, and her secretive nature with her texting is getting on my nerves. I really try to give women space but this seems like too much in my opinion.

Am I being an irrational jerk? Because if she wasn't living with me that phone conversation I heard would have made me break up with her. But I don't want to do that because kicking her out onto the street seems like a heartless thing to do.

Maybe I am becoming a pussy as I get older. Would never have tolerated this type of stuff before. But she does make me feel good even if she has never said she loved me. I told her that once and all she said was "oh, that's nice..."

Well I just don't know. I have been putting a promotion on the back burner because of her. Have to move to get that promotion. Past few days have made wonder if this relationship is worth putting my career on hold or not.

Well, any advice would be great.

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written by I have my own problems. , 09 June, 2010

na man you need to watch out for her. if youre too sweet they need space. like that guy said up there, if youre too sweet they take advantage of it. girls love getting treated like shit. they love the thrill of the chase just as much as we do. they love trying to make you like them more. so just break up with her and move on.

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written by Todd Smith , 27 July, 2010

Well I would like to first start off with saying if their is suspicion than she is probably cheating. Women are the new men these days. None of them can stay faithful or honest. They have a chemical imbalance and one they are in a relationship long enough they stop feeling loved or they dont think they are getting enough attention even if you are giving them enough. Then the first guy who gives them some good attention comes along and the flirting begins followed by the cheating. It is better to just date and break it off no longer than 2 months. It is better this way.

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written by CallMeCrazy , 03 August, 2010

I snooped on my gf who lives with me, and hate myself for doing it. But I also found that she had been writing LOVE letters to one of her ex bf long before we met and through the entire time we have been together. I confronted her with it and she is now just as pissed off as I am with her...

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written by dazed&confused , 06 August, 2010

okay so ive been with my girlfriend for about 7months and its going great,we are both girls just letting all of you know,anyways,my family loves her,and we've been talking about moving in together and all of that,should we? or is it to soon? i mean ive told her everything about me and so has she. im in love but should i slow down or keep my pace.

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written by help-please , 16 August, 2010

Hello, I am having this problem with my almost 3 year relationship, again. I am 23 she is 21, just about 4 months ago I snooped on my gf by checking cell records and saw that she was constantly texting a guy who I know likes her and she also at one point or maybe even still likes him back. They were texting back and forth at least 20 times a day I confronted her about it then and she didn't say much. She was mad that I invaded her privacy and she said that he was just a friend, she did admit that she liked him at one point but said that it was only temporary. This caused a lot of problems for us and she began to lock her phone and changed all her online passwords. Since then we were able to sort of work through things... I basically stopped caring about it in order to move past it, I let it go.

Until last week, I looked at her messages on her phone and saw that she had been texting him messages like "Don't you still like me? Why haven't you called me?" and he texts her calling her by cute names. She also has been learning Italian and he speaks it. She sends him messages in Italian, including one saying, "I would die a happy woman if I could see you naked just once." I don't know if it was a joke or if she actually meant it. They are supposed to be meeting tonight and I feel like crap about it.

I want to bring this up but I feel like this will be the last straw in the relationship. She will most likely get really mad at me for looking and I don't know that we'll be able to repair things.

I really love and care for her so I am scared to let her go. She is my first gf so I think that's why it's hard for me to let go. I know I don't deserve to be cheated on but I am scared of not having her anymore.

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written by Mr. P , 23 August, 2010

Guys, I think I can relate to some of you out there. I'm currently in a relationship with my new gf for 3 months now and I'm really crazy for her. She's unlike any other girl I've met or known. She's just wonderful. One of the things I love about her is that is amazingly friendly but that too has been a concern for me lately. A lot of guys fall for her easily because she's just that wonderful. She's working in a new company and just a few days ago, they had an after-work party. I accidentally clicked at her inbox on facebook and saw one of her co-worker teasing her saying that there was this particular guy who had his fingerprints all over her. She replied that the guy only touched her hand. And when we met later, she was texting this guy when I checked her phone (which she doesn't know) however soon after that, she's not texting anymore til now. She was just being friendly replying to him I guess. But the way this guy drafts his messages any guy could easily see what kind of guy he is. I don't want to bring it up because we've fought before about privacy but I don't know why I'm being insecure and paranoid. I trust her because she isn't that kind of girl and because of her kindness she's been totally mistreated by her jackass ex-es in the past. She's been beat up, cheated on, humiliated... I just don't really know why I'm feeling this way. Maybe part of me is upset because out of love and respect for her, I would never do anything that would upset her and when I saw that some guy touched her I just got really upset. i don't care if it was out of fun or joke i just don't like it especially since I don't know the guy and I wasn't there to see it. I was never liked this before so why now? Can anyone help me clear my mind on this matter?