| My wife and I have had issues about her flirting with male friends in the past |
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She seems to not consider some things as flirting, and at least on one occasion the other male sent was hitting on her because he was sure she liked him. Now I find she has a friend at work who she did not mention to me since I was upset about the previous man's inappropriate texting. She has been talking to him and texting him for at least 4 months - never mentioning his name and deleting texts etc. We have been in counseling during this time but she still didn’t say anything. She says my behavior drove her to it. Even after confronting her she still selectively deletes texts. I hate snooping but I really want to know what's going on. She says they are just friends and I think the guy might think that as well. But on her part I think it's an emotional affair. How do we rebuild trust and let her keep and make friends? Response: This is a very difficult situation. For starters, your wife may have a very friendly, outgoing personality. And she may feel the need to have a lot of social contacts. Some people are just more naturally outgoing than others. This does not mean that your wife is flirting – she may just be much more social than you prefer. However, most men mistake a women’s outgoing personality as flirtation. So, while your wife may not be flirting, other men, yourself included, probably think she is. The best way to deal with this situation is to talk to your wife about how you are feeling. “Confronting” your wife is only going to make the situation worse – leading to more concealment and betrayal (with her wanting to get closer to other people). Discussing the issue with your wife, if done constructively, is more likely to solve the problem. With that said, we suggest reading the following two sections of the website (when people lie and how to talk about problems). If you can learn to talk to your wife about this issue in a non-confrontational way – it will probably lead to a better outcome. Best of luck. Comments
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written by nicenthic , 15 October, 2011
I'm sorry but your wife is not marriage material. Start taking money out of your bank accounts slowly and moving them to offshore accounts. Secure the best divorce lawyer now and don't let her know anything about it. I hope you do not have kids. Buy whatever you think you will need later now and start putting things you want to keep safely away from her reach (say in your brother's house). Most importantly, do not hesitate to act. Her blaming you for her indiscretions shows that she does not care for you at all. If she even senses that you're doing this, she will act fast and get a lawyer. Guaranteed. But if you do it well and she finds out only after your plan in well in motion, she will come grovelling back to you like the slut she is. And I hope you have the sense not to take her dumb ass back.
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written by nicenthic , 15 October, 2011
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Guys, we have been born with the innate ability to keep sex separate from our emotions. Most girls do not have this ability. Once you have sex with a girl, she starts heavily investing herself in you. But it's up to you to keep your emotions well guarded when dealing with sluts. For most semi-intelligent blokes who've had at least some action in his life, this is quite easy to do. But it's not so easy for a young guy with his first few lays. This is when he might put his heart and soul into a bad apple (read: slut). He will get burned and then learn from it. The real morons are the guys who don't learn and invest themselves again in a another slut and possibly marry her. Then they lose a lot more than their hurt feelings - they could be stuck with alimony, child support and even a lost house. Now that's a lesson they wont forget! Learn some game theory and see how your mindset changes completely. You will be in power and every girl will just be another social experiment and possibly another conquest when you get good at it. You will understand women better than you can possibly imagine and use this new-found power to your benefit socially and in your personal life. report abuse
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