| I am crazy about someone who doesn't love me back |
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I’m not sure this is the right place to ask but... Comments
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written by julz , 25 May, 2009
I know how u feel. i love someone and someone them that i like him, but i don't know what he thinks about it. all i know is he obviously doesn't like me back. although, i am young so i didn't let him know that i am now "in love" with him simply because he isn't mature enough to know what i really mean. i want to hate him. i don't like anything about him, but i can't stop loving him. what should i do? i ask all the time. but get no answers. i just go with what happens each day and that's it. no matter how many tears i cry for no reason. so that is the only advice i have. like i said, it's hard to find advice for that, just go with whatever happens each day and that's that. no matter how bad it is...
Votes: +18
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written by ... , 12 June, 2009  i feel the same exact way about someone. report abuse
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written by esparza , 17 June, 2009
dear girl, I know how you feel, but let me tell you something that will probably hurt you a little bit, you could have helped all the bad things that happened to you.Loving someone more that yourself is the biggest mistake ever, that is why he doesnt love you, that is why he treats you the way he does, you can`t say that you would do everything for him, specially after all the pain he made you feel, look at yourself in the mirror and stop thinking stupid things.He doesnt want you ,and hew will never do, no matter if you had sex it was the only thing he wanted from you, but it doesnt mean that you dont deserve to be loved by somebody else, como on you are young and must love the live and body god gave you do it for you, and never see that man again I know it will hurt, but believe me if you continue seeing him, he will continue treating yo like garbage,
Votes: +25
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written by Eule , 18 September, 2009
I wish you well. I have known the pain of loving someone, being loved by them in return, and then the rejection afterwards. It is so difficult to accept that what had seemed so wonderful and true was, in fact, not so. I loved my ex for a long time after he left me. He even contacted me again after he had embarked on a new relationship. It was the hardest thing in the world to say to myself - no, I deserve better treatment than this. It didn't feel right at the time, but I stuck to it and now I am glad. He was only using me and I think if you read back over your post, you'll see that your guy is similarly inclined. HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND!!! That is all the evidence that you need.
Votes: +51
I know you feel heartbroken and desperate right now, but as the saying goes "this too will pass". Give yourself a period of time to mourn him - say 2 months - during which you resolve to try at least ONE thing every day that makes you feel good about yourself. By all means cry for the rest of the day, if that's what you want, but you have to make ONE effort to feel good. And it must be something totally unrelated to this man. (no cheating!!) Next, if he contacts you, do NOT take his calls, emails, texts or whatever. He is cheating on his girlfriend, so that should tell you something about the kind of guy he is. And if he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend, why should you settle to be something less than that? I promise you - a year down the road, you will look back and wonder what the hell you saw in him. In order to get there, you have to stop thinking that you can't live without him. Tell yourself that, yes, you're hurting, but equally YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS. Good luck honey. report abuse
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written by lost n love , 14 December, 2009
Im fighting the same demons. I just trust that theres a lesson to be learned. Cause i love him so much i cant see str8.
Votes: +2
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written by Been There , 27 December, 2009
Listen, you must take a leap back into reality, HE DOESN'T WANT YOU! Thinking about him and wanting him will cease with time. You can't help the way you feel and those feelings are valid, however, stop wasting time on someone who doesn't want you. Remember, not every one is "the one". It sounds like maybe you have some underlying issues that you should focus on and get your mind right. I don't mean to sound harsh but why keep playing yourself? Aren't you worth more? Life is to short to want someone or something that you cannot and will not have.
Votes: +12
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written by Strength , 29 December, 2009
Learn to deal with reality and accept it. Then pray to God and ask Him to make it go away and He will.
Votes: +3
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written by kayla belle , 15 January, 2010
i honestly think you should not get with this guy. i may be young in age but my heart and emotions are way wiser than my age. i am pretty much in the same situation and have been through some bad things with this one guy. but i am trying to forgive him so i can forget him... but it's hard with all the communication technology going on nowadays. i cant go anywhere without hearing his name. and when im not around him im thinking about him... much like your situation. my advice is just to forget him the best you can.
Votes: +3
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written by A friendly note , 20 January, 2010  Decide to love you MORE! report abuse
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written by stareeid1 , 24 February, 2010
Loving someone who doesn't love you back isn't love at all. Love is the actions of two people within any relationship that show equality and commitment through respect.
Votes: +7
What you have is a severe case of Lust... lust makes us want to be in love and that is in no way false, or wrong! Unfortunately those we lust after may lust after us too, but not have the same desire to share in the relationship only making the lines more blurry. from personal experience the only suggestion I can make is to go out there and do your own thing. You need not explain/keep him updated on your new adventures. You also need not never speak to him or see him again ... just back burner him treat him like a decoration in the back of your mind (it's not about forgetting him it's about distancing yourself). If you still "love" him in a year and you feel the same about him - tell him again. keep telling him until you're sick of telling him, that you love him and you get nothing in return. (You will get sick of it - or meet someone with whom you are equally attracted to him but who will be more interested in your combined futures). report abuse
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written by Dejavu , 05 April, 2010
Your letter sounds like something I would have written a while back... I was lonely, and in need of love. Wasted a lot of time asking myself why not me? So not worth it...! The key here is a good support system. If you don't have it, look for it, build it, make new friends, spend time with your family, keep yourself active, and your mind occupied, buy a 2,500 pieces puzzle, but move on, there's someone out there for you with whom you'll experience the mutual love you want and deserve.
Votes: +2
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written by samehere , 05 May, 2010
It is SO HARD to just let go! I am currently in this situation of being the one who loves, and getting nothing back in return.
Votes: +3
My story is I got involved with a MM. Mistake number one. It began with flirting via e-mail, to texting, chatting, then eventually meeting each other and having sex. I didn't want to for fear of it ending our relationship. Boy was I right! Immediately after we had sex, this HUGE wall went up. In fact, he practically rushed me out of the room! I've never felt so used or humiliated. I tried through several e-mails just to find out where his mind was at, and why he didn't want to talk anymore, but all I got were answers that made no sense! I even told him through an e-mail that it was obvious he wasn't interested, and he was free to go, but instead he keeps hanging on, even though I can tell he has no interest. I get a few texts a day from him (as opposed to around 80 in the beginning!)All involving HIM, or general discussions about HIS life. He NEVER asks about me, where before, I was THE most important person in the world to him! I can't believe it was all a lie. I shared so much of my heart with him, and he has simply smashed it under his foot. Why does he continue to try to stay in contact? It's obvious he has no interest so is this a guilt type thing? I don't know, but I know I am dying inside because I truly did love him, and the pain of loving and not getting loved back, is unbearable. But what's even HARDER, is the not knowing why! WHAT in the H did I do???? report abuse
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written by Tell me , 07 May, 2010
He asked me whether I love him. I said yes but he didn't say he love me or not and we kept on smsing. What does that mean?
Votes: -1
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written by sueflay , 18 May, 2010
It probably means he doesn't know or doesn't want to hurt you. He probably enjoys very much spending time with you, but hasn't thought past it much further than that. If he doesn't say he loves you, especially if you ask him, then you need to get out of that relationship. If he doesn't know, he won't know. You can't make a man fall in love with you, no matter how hard you wish it, no matter how hard you try, no matter how often or how rarely you contact him, no matter how cute or how plainly you dress. You'll only be wasting your time and your emotions. You'll only be causing yourself heartbreak and throwing yourself into confusion. Regardless of how much you like this guy or love him, if he isn't loving you back, if you are //unsure// of his intentions of of his feelings toward you in even the smallest amount, then you need to get out. Start distancing yourself from him. If you can't ask him how he feels and get the answer you want, then leave. There are millions of men in this world. And, though you may not believe this for a very long time, there is a better man than him out there that you WILL meet.
Votes: +11
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written by karma , 10 June, 2010
I love a married man. He also love me.but i know there will be no future n no result. I try to leave him many times.but i still cant leave him. I dont know what to do now.happy= suffering..........
Votes: -3
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written by caba waba , 04 July, 2010
I think I know how you feel....
Votes: +1
I saw someone on FB that I grew up down the street from. I remember him as being a nice guy. He was also a "hottie" and still is. Anyhow, we started e-mailing each other, which turned into texting, then talking on the phone. He said thing's to me like " it means so much to me that we grew up on the same street and we have a history of growing up in the same town". Well, i felt the same way. Our conversations on the phone would get hot & steamy, practically phone sex... Anyway, we exchanged some very racy photos and now he rarely calls and rarely answers my texts. The last few times we talked he always says his busy. I'm not stupid, I know he lost interest. My point is that I really fell for him...and I mean hard. I think about him day & night. And I can't get him outta my mind and it is driving me crazy. I'm 42 and have been married and been in a few relationships, but I've never felt like this before. I don't know if it's love or obsession. For me, I think it's more of what could have been... But, realizing that he give up before we even got a chance to get started, well i guess it's better then seeing, touching and feeling him. BTW: I live in PA and he lives in CA... report abuse
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written by Slindile , 20 July, 2010
I understand very well how you feel. I've got the same problem like yours but the only difference is that I am married and he is about to get married to someone else. To me it started with a hug and then he kissed me whilst I was busy on a phone at work and after that we kissed passionately. When I told him that I have feelings for him, he said we must not act on our feelings so as to respect our partners and ourselves. But every week we kissed passionately and it's feels right but he always tells me that we should stop. My problem is that I can't stop now because if we hug we ended up kissing and I don't know what to do. I don't know that whether he loves me but afraid of his partner. I don't know what to do, please can someone give me some advise on how to let him go?
Votes: +0
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written by lonleylady , 26 July, 2010
I am in a similar situation. Met a guy back in January. Fell hard fast. And eventually one night I told him I loved him. He said he didn't want a relationship. He liked me but didn't feel we had that sort of connection.Clearly he never had feelings even remotely close to mine. He kept seeing me and we continued to go on dates. I eventually met a couple other guys. I guess in an attempt to distract myself from him. Then one night the guy I am infatuated with (I don't want to say love because I am trying to convince myself it isn't)text me obviously intoxicated and told me he missed me.So I saw that as an opener and lapped it right up.Within 24 hours I was asking to see him. It really messed with me. We went on a date. It went perfectly (well in my mind). Then later that night we started having sex back at his place, and I broke down right in the midst of it. I dont know its hard to admit this. But as women I am sure you might understand. Basically I wanted him to make love to me. And I realized that wasn't going to happen. He just thought I was crazy for saying I loved him. After that he wouldn't sleep with me again. I must say I respect him for that, he did keep talking to me through text and we hung out a couple times after (no sex). Then eventually I just became angry and irrational because I was hurt. I said hurtful things to him. Did stupid things. Now he essential wants pretty much nothing to do with me. Even took me off his facebook. But he doesn't ignore my texts. Clearly its wrong. But I am having a hell of a time letting go. Reading the articles about Ludos and Mania love ect have really helped me put things in a different perspective. Clearly when you make someone feel superior to you naturally they are going to think they can do better if they dont feel the same love for you. Because they never had to work for you. Next time I wont wear my heart on my sleeve. I think I just came on to strong. I need to work on that I guess, also I had just came out of a four and a half year relationship before I met him. My friends and family tell me he was just a rebound.
Votes: +6
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written by mint , 26 July, 2010
Make yourself busy and try to go out with friends and family members to keep your mind occupied. It all will pass and you'll get to learn how to be strong and tough, this is the test to better yourself and improve in all areas. Love happens all the time not only once. Nothing is stable, sadness not stable...one day happiness comes, all new amazing and different things comes.I've been there, just have to think positive and be happy and smile to it...It's really easy to get over someone who you fell deeply for. Just give yourself space not him to re-think. Take care of yourself, focus on family, friends and jobs and having fun with the beautiful world around you. Cheer up!! You'll be fine!! Good luck
Votes: +5
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written by MissX , 01 August, 2010
Thank God am not alone in this, thought it was just me who had a love for someone who doesn't love them, it's hard to talk about isn't it?
Votes: +8
I'm a lot older than most ppl who have posted, therefore should have more life experience and more sense than to carry on loving someone who doesn't love back. There isn't a day goes by that I don't think of and cry over this man, I think about the promises made and what should have been, internet, phone, text messages etc makes it harder to walk away so it's easier to keep 'track' on someone, I keep thinking one day he'll come back to me, that he'll realize what he gave up. I wish there was a magic pill to take my memory away, that I could wake up one day and he'd be gone, for until that happens I can't move on with my life, am stuck in a loop that I can't get out of. X report abuse
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written by MissyS , 05 August, 2010
I honestly don't understand these men who act like they care and then go for days/weeks/months of acting like they never even acted that way. I love someone too who does not feel the same. One day he acts like he cares and is interested, the next he is nowhere to be found. I love him so much! I keep thinking he will see the light one day as long as I don't appear clingy but it's driving me crazy. Maybe if I give him time he will see. It's been going on for 8 months now. It's depleting my energy, controlling my moods. Love is about equality so I'm starting to think maybe I'm not in love maybe I'm just involved with someone who is selfish and prefers to just be by himself rather than get out of the "ME" mode that you have to do when you have a relationship. I am going to try to stop loving him and try loving myself more.
Votes: +12
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written by livefreeloveall , 03 September, 2010
I can relate and feel some of your pain - I also am in love with someone who is in love with someone else. As painful as it is - I have to accept the fact and move on...Not easy, but I try to recognize the situation I am in and take in the hard truth and work my way towards the happiness and love that I seek...I had a roommate that once told me why it is so hard sometimes to get over or move on, and that is because I refuse to recognize, ignore the truth/facts and refuse to accept it...Once I have figured that out - it helped me move forward and be more accepting of events that happens in our lifetime...I wish you the best and hope that you find the happiness and love that you seek. There will come a time that we will find someone that we are crazy about as they are crazy about us...
Votes: +2
Take care. report abuse
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written by being through it , 18 September, 2010
i have a similar experience where i had loved someone who did not love me at all.It will take time for you to get over that person but hard as it may sound keep away from that person it may not be easy
Votes: -1
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written by Sophie Pickering , 26 September, 2010
I have a similar experience too! :/ I love so much, I know I love him.. But he's the sort of guy who doesn't go out with girls, and doesn't say when he likes them to anyone! And I've known him for a long time, and he uses all the faces
Votes: +2
 .. Etc! And does flirt, I think.. I flirt back.. I guess.. But I know it'll never happen.. But I really, really want to be in a relationship with him! I don't know what to do, because it does hurt, so, so much!  I wish someone could help! report abuse
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written by Gofigure , 01 October, 2010
For anyone here who was the be all end all in the beginning of your relationship with this person you now can't get over...ask yourself some questions...Was he ever interested in YOU, did he ever ask you about you? Was it always about his life, his job, his day, HIM? Did he make you feel like a queen for about a minute and then as soon as he knew he had you, boom...it all changed??? You need to read every article you can on Narcissist's and I will guarantee at least half of you will realize you were scammed by the biggest FAKE to ever walk among women. Your questions will be answered and you begin to heal.
Votes: +5
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written by brok3n , 15 October, 2010
i read some of these and i can see and understand the pain some of you may feel yet can also see how desperate some of you sound. don't get me wrong, i am not saying i am better than any of you. in fact, i may be worse. i have been hanging out with this guy (my best friend) for 7 going on 8 years. we have been sexual, we have lived together at times ... basically we are constant companions ... but have never put a label on us we have always been "just friends" over the years he has dated people as have, yet we always go back to this pattern. i have told him openly that i love him and he says he loves me to but is not in love. well, recently he has once again started dating a girl and being intimate with her. he has started treating me like i am just some friend he mat last week. we have tried to talk about things and he acts like it is something new that i love him and that this hurts me and doesnt understand how i could possibly feel neglected by him. i have tried to walk away from him but dont know if i can. aside from loving him, he is my best friend ... pretty much one of my only friends. i am so lost without him and have no idea what to do with my time. i can not eat. i can not sleep. all i do is cry. i know it sounds pathetic but i have given myself to him for 8 years and it kills me that he can just brush me aside when im inconvenient for him. i love him, i hurt and i am so tired of feeling like this. i have no will to live ... i feel empty.
Votes: +4
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written by AndyPandy , 03 November, 2010
I'm terribly sorry that you're enduring such an awful, excruciating pain... Many find it easy to speculate how simple it is to find your bearing, to end the relationship, and to heal, but the pain of unrequited love is so personal and existential that no one else can begin to tell you how to fix it. I, too, know this pain. I'm in love with a boy that I'd give anything for. We've been dating, almost five months now, and when we're together I'm in heaven. I feel more whole around him... and I want to see him all the time! He, on the other hand, is more content seeing me occasionally, at his convenience. I always instigate a meeting, be it a date or less formal, and constantly agonize over whether he wants to see me. I told him I loved him, and he reacted negatively, "I don't want to hear those kinds of things." Further more, only a select few (four total) of his friends know my existence, and none of his family are aware. I make myself available to see him, and express my desire to do so, and more often than not, I'm left in limbo- that is, I'm left waiting for him to call... which he usually does not. It hurts far more than I EVER would have thought. I cry till it hurts. I hold my phone everywhere I go, afraid I'll miss his call. I love him, and I can't leave him. God help us both.
Votes: +3
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written by ger71 , 07 November, 2010
LOOKS LIKE MOST OF THE POSTS HERE ARE FROM WOMEN, BUT I'M A GUY IN A SIMILAR SITUATION. FRIENDS FOR A COUPLE YEARS, SEXUAL TENSION BUILT UP TIL SHE ENDED UP SPENDING 3 DAYS AT MY PLACE RECENTLY. I KNOW SHE IS NOT 'DATING' MATERIAL AS SHE IS QUITE UNBALANCED YET I HAVE ABSOLUTELY BECOME OBSESSED. CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER, IT'S ALL I DO. I NEED HELP!
Votes: +4
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written by ..... , 11 February, 2011
I've known someone from when the school had started and i fell in love with him at first sight ..... i told him that i love him and and he wanted to meet me....but i couldn't ....then after a couple of weeks(we were friends all this days)i realized that he had made up with a girl......she was really jealous..... she has even sent me sms from her boyfriend's mobile phone .... now he don't talks to me as much as before and i feel that i am loosing a very good friend.....i never stop love him but i would like to be at least friends
Votes: +0
"sorry if the spelling of some words is wrong but i am not really good at English" report abuse
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written by experience, love é bomaka. , 24 February, 2011
Im in love with someone. At the beginning of our relationship, I was not really paying a lot of attention to him. Strangely, he was!! He used to look at me as if I was everything at once. I was important for him when he wasn't really for me. I remember him telling me that he needed to be part of my life and feel like he was important to me. I was touched, i think somehow I decided to open the door of my heart. I regret now. It seems that the "terms of trade" have changed. Now i feel like im leaking his boots. Even taking 5min to talk to me is what he calls an "opportunity cost". Well I know we are very busy lately, but my love for him has not changed because of that. No. I took me to open my heart's door, I just feel like if I close this one i won't be strong enough to open another one.I am a very strong and confident lady, but when it comes to my heart, i dont know where she's gone? I need her back! I need my sunshine back.It hurts and its so unfair! I feel like a slave trying to find the escape!I have an excess of love to give but it seems like im receiving an excess of pain. Its enough, I need to see my lovely sunshine! (floetry:"sunshine")
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written by Rizzo , 02 March, 2011
Five years and counting... thank you, glad to know I am not alone. Some times the heart wants what the heart wants... I don't understand my own heart... needs to get together with my head. Have the feeling you are all young... I am close to (OMG 60) and I still have the same feelings. Why do relationships seem so difficult, wasn't like that at 18??????
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written by male , 03 March, 2011
It seems like there's a lot of heartache here. I don't even know what this website is, I just typed in loving someone who doesn't love you back, and here I am typing from my phone. As my name states I'm a 28 year old male who is terribly in love with somebody who doesn't want me.
Votes: +10
So your not alone ladies, the only thing is as a guy I can't express how I feel other than this anonymous posting. It's funny cause I had her body but I wanted her soul, cheesy but true. After closing my eyes and seeing her smile for the millionth time and wishing I had her by my side this cloudy night. I realized life is too short to continue to pine for somebody who doesn't want you. It's funny cause when I picture my future I imagine myself with her. But its time for a.reality check people she doesn't want me and the guy doesn't want you. It's best just to move on, I've passed on some nice ladies just to hold the possibility of something happening. I don't know I'm just rambling now. I'm not going to say you are special or need to find somebody who loves you the way you need or deserve. Cause shit happens and I don't believe in karma, learn from your mistake and move on. Go cold turkey, delete their number,fb profile everything. Our time is so limited on this mudball we might as well not waste it trying to get somebody who doesn't want you. report abuse
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written by Moose , 19 March, 2011
Unrequited love? Is there any other kind? Of only EVER loved girls who haven't loved me back-I believe it was the Residents who said it best in their song "perfect love":
Votes: +2
"there's something I must tell you, there's something I must say, the only really perfect love's the one that gets away." report abuse
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written by Finally Understanding , 06 June, 2011
Great post all very helping.....now everyone go look up what it means to be a Sociopath.....study it in depth and you will have more insight into all of this.....really.....thanks K
Votes: -3
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written by ... , 14 July, 2011
A sociopath is somebody who exhibits sociopathy, who behaves in a way that suggests a lack of conscience. Unlike the average human, a sociopath does not feel any sense of guilt or remorse when committing morally wrong actions or actions that their society deems unacceptable. Because of this utter lack of fear for the sanctions of society, sociopaths take advantage of the social system and use manipulation and amoral behaviors to obtain their goals. The types of behaviors they exhibit are those that would make someone with a conscience uncomfortable.
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written by ... , 14 July, 2011
Wow.You guys. It is July 14th, 2011 and almost one year ago today I wrote a post in response to this ladies story about her troubled relationship. Well its been one year. And after 3 months of not talking the the guy I was "infatuated" with we began to speak again...strangely the second time around was much different we actually started a relationship...however every 3 months we would break up. Now tonight I typed the very same question into the google search engine "Why do I love someone who doesn't love me and I came to this page, started reading the posts...and suddenly I came to this ONE post and after reading 3/4 of my way through it...I thought omg this women has been in my exact shoes...and then I realised it was my post from last year!. It was so weird...moral of the story somethings never change. THESE MEN WILL NEVER LOVE US. THEY JUST CANT. Just like the people we have met in our lives that we just didn't love. Its time to move on and except the sad truth. MOVE ON!
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written by Baileyisa , 23 July, 2011
I have been trying to get over someone for a year, will it ever happen? I don't even want to give anyone else a chance, I'm just not attracted to anyone. I'm lonely and miserable and i fun into the object of my affection and his girlfriend a lot.
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written by Seven Points on Ten , 07 August, 2011
Look at the lot of you, suffering because you allow yourselves to. Rather than continue sink into holes you yourselves are slaving to dig, why not prop up the ladder of logic and climb up, out, and above your one-sided attachments? It's maddeningly simple. The object of your affection not returning what you "feel" you deserve? Set your sights elsewhere. They are but one of 6 billion two legged parasites on this biosphere. Surely, someone, somewhere will "feel" the same way as you. Personally though, I couldn't care less about "love". I'm a proud misanthrope. People are disgusting creatures inherently, constantly dumping their waste and DNA into each other for a fleeting moment of satisfaction and contrived and disillusioned sense of self realization. Honestly, "feelings" are shackles that humanity invented for itself in order to try to make itself seem superior to other beasts who could rip us limb from limb. Life sucks because people suck at living. Well shit, I'm ranting. Whatever. I suppose now is where I say,"hope my advice helps".
Votes: +7
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written by Melissa M. , 13 August, 2011
Well, it's nice to know I'm not alone in my self destruction. Too bad we couldn't all get together and cry a river, suffering alone sucks. So many comments that are easier said than done and why? I'll give you the answer, hope. Yes, hope. We thrive on it, we live each day hoping that he or she will open their eyes and realize what is in front of them, us. I keep a diary of the man I love, every time he contacts me, every text, every instant message, when we meet I write down everything that was said in the conversation, so I can torture myself, because I continue to hope that he will love me back. Of course, like you, I have a rational side, the side that says "I deserve better", but the irrational side always wins. I cry, I beg God for him to love me. None of us will ever win, our feelings are so deep, it's as if we're stuck in a cave with no opening.
Votes: +3
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written by shazan , 16 August, 2011
love can hurt easily.. can change someone to become different person.
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written by big x , 16 August, 2011
im in love with someone that doesnt know how much i love them and i am to shy to just tell them because i work better with my actions than word and i would do anything for her but im scared though i am afraid that something will happen to her and i wasnt there to protect her what should i do
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written by vic , 16 August, 2011
I have been all over the internet to see if my situation is unique or if someone has experienced something similar
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I'm a contractor. 3 years ago on a size able project I needed to increase my crew to 6 people. A young woman applied. I hired her. I knew at the end of the first day how good & talented she was. At the end of the project, I had to layoff several people and kept 2 including her She has been the best carpenter I have ever hired I started being attracted to her and the attraction kept building up She introduced me to her lover about a year ago. Another beautiful young woman. I was crushed. It became increasingly difficult to work with her and suppress my feelings for her She has no idea how I feel 3 weeks ago, work slowed down & I had to let her go I thought I would be relieved and that things would get easier for me, not working with her everyday Wrong. I was in deep. I was deeply in love with her. Now I write letters, pray, go for walks all to deal with the loss It's much harder than I thought. I live in a small town so I still see her from time to time & I fear these encounters. I would welcome any suggestions to ease the sadness report abuse
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written by Hurting heart , 31 August, 2011
I met someone online and what started as a friendship became an emotional connection. We live in different countries and after 9 months of daily emails, chatting online, webcam we finally met. The attraction was overwhelming and we had four days of being together in every way. We acted like we were together in a long distant relationship and really cared about each other. He always wanted to know how I was and interested in my life. However, I have fallen in love with him but he has told me he loves me but not in love with me and I will never know how much he cares, but we can´t be in a relationship because of many factors. He doesn´t want us to be obligated and stop us finding someone else. He did want to carry on and he was not seeing someone else but my heart cracked into pieces. I told him it had to stop and in hurt I said somethings he didn´t accept like oh so i am FWB and how these excuses are actually a lot of excuses in a pretty package! He stated I have hurt him a lot with the things I said and it was not like that at all, but then how is it? He doesn´t know anymore if we can be even friends after a few arguments and my inability not to feel crushed. It really confused me when I left straight away he texted and emailed telling me how much he cares and he cried after I left and how he missed me already. I just feel so used and hurt and he feels hurt and let down by my reaction. I guess we were always on a different page...I guess I want a man´s perspective to understand this one......
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written by Been There 2 , 31 August, 2011
Hello everyone, I've been there, and sometimes I still am here with you. I have come to the realization that, yes, I do like the person a lot. No, he doesn't recognize my love, etc. I have been in love with my pen pal for over 22 years. We have met platonically three times. In my mind, he is perfect, BUT, I have to remember it is my mind. From a cartoon strip, Mary Worth, I got good advice, which is for me to acknowledge that my career/job is not satisfying to me. Stop placing my unsatisfactory career into my love life. Find more activities, workshops, classes that I am interested in and stop dreaming the dreams and living the life. I don't know if this helps but, because of lay offs, I am now in a new field of work, I am happy and I am trying to move on. I know we need to work in order to survive and to buy food, clothing and shelter, but recognize that you can change, for the better, or higher quality of life. Love to all of you.
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written by Aishuk , 16 October, 2011
I'd also like to add my two pence worth.
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I dated a man for 3 years. He went hot and cold. For this reason I decided to break it off with him. I certainly loved him more than he loved me. After I broke it off with him, he came back and told me he wanted to marry me. It wasn't romantic or anything - he simply said lets get married. I agreed. We have been married for 5 years in those years - again he started turning cold. We separated 3 times. Now he has finally told me he wants a divorce because he never loved me and made a mistake by marrying me. I'm heartbroken and the pain is more than when we first dated. I'm finding it very difficult to let go. I still love him. I built dreams about being with him for the rest of my life, turning old together, starting a family. The funny thing is he never told me he loved me in the years we were married. When I asked him about this - he said he doesn't need to say those words. He picked fights with me so he could look for an excuse to end things but I would always apologize and overlook the arguments. I single handily made the marriage work until he started to insist on a divorce. YOU CAN NEVER MAKE ANYONE LOVE YOU AND IF YOU TRY YOU WILL ONLY END UP HURTING YOURSELF. IF YOU STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK, THEY WILL ONLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR LOVE, NOTHING YOU DO WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR SELF-RESPECT AND SELF-ESTEEM LIKE I HAVE. report abuse
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written by Sad Angel , 20 October, 2011
I love someone dearly, then we get married, after married he don't love me anymore, I try very hard to relight the love, but failed. Now we are in a zombie marriage, no love, no caring, but roommate type.
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When someone don't love you, no matter what u do, he won't love you. When someone love you, no matter what you do, you won't change him. I know I have to let it be, but my question is ... how can I move on without feeling the pain, without crying? Leave him is pain, stay is pain. What should I do? How can I avoid the pain and be strong? report abuse
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written by typetotracy , 24 October, 2011
Regarding the original posting: the guy is really the crazy one - they only want what they cannot have. You cannot fix it or change it, it's best to be mad at them and learn to dislike them completely. Been there. You have to learn to love what people do for you and how they feel about you, not love your infatuation for them.
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written by Unfortunatly in love , 29 October, 2011
Unfortunately i know how you feel! I've been in love with the same man for 5 years and he has known for 3 of them! We used to txt/email/instant chat whilst he was with another girl! He even used to meet me and stay over night with me!! But NEVER did he want to discuss the possibility of getting together! In the end i had enough and told him i didnt want to speak to him anymore because being friends isnt enough for me. He still emails me and i ignore the emails.
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Believe me it hurts everytime! Its been almost a year and i am still in love with him! I listen to songs and they make me think of him, his smile his laugh his sense of humor everything! I wish i could hate him! I really do but for some reason i just cant! He is all i think about! Perhaps 1 day i will get over him but atm it isnt looking likely! What im trying to put across is that i found the strength to break it off and yes it hurts but it hurts so much less than what it would of if id let it carry on! As for your comment about considering fallin pregnant.....DONT DO IT!! if he doesnt want to actually be with you now, a baby will certainly make his feelings stay the same! Goodluck! It isnt easy! report abuse
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written by just want to have her back , 03 November, 2011
Can someone tell me what is love but not like before... we broke up becuz of some issues, and i really want to save this relationship, is it too late for me? Its been like 2 months from now. I do know my mistakes, and she know hers too. I hope that we can sort it out, and be together again. She agreed that we both have something that not many couple has, the common likings, understanding etc. I am willing to work hard on my part, really i will. Since she said she still have the love for me just that its not like before, its normal right? As long as we put in the effort to mend the issues and iron it out? We have been together for nearly 2 years. Shs 23, am 28. After this whole time, i know i want to be there for her through her difficulties her joy and i just want her to be as happy as she was when we are together. Can someone advise me on this?
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written by neverhave , 03 November, 2011
I am in this new phase of my 5 years of unrequited love. I am very angry. Some of it is sometimes towards the person of my affection, but I try to talk myself out of that because I don't want to be angry at him. I just want to give him just a little of my pain because it gets to be too much for me. Sometimes I want to say something to hurt him really badly, but I never can go through with that because I don't want to push him away. I want to at least keep him as a friend. I just don't know what to do with this anger. The days when it seems uncontrollable, I make sure not to be around other people if I can. I want to put my first through a wall. I'm mad at life for doing this to me. Why did I fall for something who doesn't love me? Why can't there be someone in my every day life who can relate to me? Instead of people like me, I'm surrounded by people who love someone who loves them back. I am so TIRED of being on the outside looking in at that. Looking in and longing to know what that feels like. I have never known what it feels like and I am 23 years old. I can't watch romance movies anymore. Nope. I have tried finding someone else, but the thing about this curse is that it prevents me from moving on with someone else. I can't fall for someone else because I am soo in love with this person and no one else means as much to me. I can't see anyone ever meaning as much to me as he does. I actually get really annoyed sometimes when other guys express interest in me because I want that same affection that they are giving me from the guy I love. So this evil unrequited love demon is making me miserable and is preventing me from pulling myself out. So what do I do? Force myself into a relationship so I at least won't be lonely for the rest of my life? Well, I have thought about that for a split second, but decided that would not be bearable. I can't stand the thought of someone else touching me. (I have been intimate with this guy many times btw) I can't stand the thought of spending time with someone else and wanting it instead be him. And I definitely don't want to end up causing someone else to feel this pain. I don't wish this on anyone. I just really want this to end. I need a way out of this besides death which seems to be the only way out. I am constantly tortured in my mind about this and it is sucking the life out of me.
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written by nache , 08 November, 2011
i hope it gets better
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written by alexita , 08 November, 2011
thanks everyone all your comments help me to see what i was going through. I am going out with a guy, who doesn't wanna nothing serious with me (for now), he said that we need more time to know each other, we have going out for almost 6 months and he still need time. i liked him a lot i really wanted a relationship. and the worst thing i tried to finish this whatever we have because he doesn't wanna put a title to this situation so as stupid I am i tried to stop this because it hurts, but he always text that he miss me so that made me feel like he really wanna something serious with me which wasn't true all he wants is having fun even do he seems that he cares about me, but tonight I'm gonna tell him that I'm done and that i don't wanna see him anymore and this is gonna be the last time. this night is gonna be funny because i asked him that i wanna spent the night on his house so he doesn't know what it's really gonna happen tonight
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. thank all ur comment that made me open my eyes, probably I'm gonna be sad the next days but is for my on good. psdt: i start feeling better report abuse
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written by alexita , 10 November, 2011
hi it's me again, like i said the other day i stopped going out the guy who was breaking my heart. that night wasn't like i was expecting, i though everything was gonna be easy, of course he was surprise for what i did, but that wasn't all he was expecting me to give him money for his gas wasted cuz hi lives a 40min from my house. i think i did the right thing but now i feel kind like sad i feel like i wanna cry but i don't know why if he never cares about my he rarely text me so i don't see no point why im getting sad, I'm trying to be strong but is getting hard. please i need an advice
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written by AMAAL , 13 November, 2011
I think you will get over it if you start meeting new people
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written by alexita , 13 November, 2011
where i can find new people if everyone think that i have a boyfriend all my ex thought that i was in a relationship with someone else
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written by Fatma , 24 November, 2011
I'm deeply sorry for you
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written by marium , 28 November, 2011
hi i have got a boy friend who doesn't love me. we are studying together in same college but in different classes. i am crazy about him. i really love him but he doesn't he is very rich and belongs to allied class family. i m a middle class girl. he is confident intelligent and very serious about his life and he considered me immature. i know he likes me and used to talk to me every day but never say he loves me. he is little bit status conscious. i m destroying my every thing for him my studies, my confidence, my friendships ( with girls), and i cannot pay attention to any thing. i am least interested to everything. my mood is totally depend on him. he respects me and never abuse me even a single time. always spoke me about religion. but hundreds of time he does not reply my text. i want him. i really love him. i cannot live without him. nobody can love him more then me. but i never told him even a single time that i love him(always says i like you). i m really care about him. i have known this guy for over a year and a half but he never respond positively. i think he just wants to spend some time with me. he is really nice person but he thinks i do not deserve such a kind of non serious girl. i m in miserable condition. i do not want to break up. but i think its bitter but better for me. i should let him go and move o .. may God bless us both. from today i will never call him and never text him again INSHALLAH. because i dont want to spoil my life any more. i want to stay happy but my heart still beat only for him. he is my heart, my everything but this is the life. i have to leave him. pray for me please
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written by Jayinlove , 28 November, 2011
I have known this guy for 8 years at first we were just friends then I started hanging out at his house and we would make out. We fell out of touch but found each other again 3 years ago. He had a new baby and baby mama and kept calling me and emailing me,i had a boyfriend who was in another country at the time but I told him it wouldn't be right. We stayed in touch and I invited him out with me and my friends to the movies but he never came. We lost touch again for a couple mths until he started emailing me again and inviting me to a new years eve party I told him my bf was coming home and that would be disrespectful. We saw each other occasionally after that just hi and bye. Until this year he went searching for me asking friends we had in common for my number until I saw him and we exchanged numbers. He would text me often, then he came and visited me and the chemistry was still there and just as strong as always. He told me how things weren't good at home and I couldn't be with someone who had someone else(btw my bf and I had broken up some months earlier).We started dating and making out and he would tell me he loved me but I never said it back till months later. The txts dwindled and so did the calls, he stopped returning and replying to messages and calls and he would stop showing up at my house without even telling me he wasn't coming. He never showed up on my birthday nor the get together I had without notice. He then broke up with me the day after he told me he was making plans to take my virginity(26 yrs old). I have loved this guy for many years but kept it to myself because he was off limits and when I allowed him in he was so loving and honestly I don't know what happened. I think about him everyday he said he wanted to be friends but my mom spoke to him about the breakup and how distraught I was. All of a sudden he didn't want to be friends,I should not txt him and that it would be best if we did not stay in touch. I was going crazy because I was so confused so I would occasionally send him messages online when I could not keep how I felt inside anymore. When I see this guy my knees literally go weak. We text each other now(I sort of initiated contact)and he still insists that he loves me but he doesn't see us being together and he just wants to be friends.
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written by Poppy2011 , 28 November, 2011
I fell in love with my friend & work colleague 3 years ago. We kissed one night & I told him & obviously he freaked out but I brushed it off even though it killed me inside he didn't feel the same way. As years have gone on we've had intimate times together but he continues to live with his partner & child. I still sometimes see him and as years have gone on I'd hear the 'complaints' of family life & how he wasn't appreciated at home so I'd over compensate & make sure he had great gifts for his birthday despite the fact he's never made an effort for me even on my birthday this year I didn't even get a card. One minute he's all over me & the next unless I text I don't hear from him. Tonight I've come home after seeing him he blatantly was not interested even to talk to me! I feel so stupid and feel like I've let myself be used. He was meant to be a friend but he just doesn't care. I have no one to talk to & until now reading this not heard of anyone in similar situation. I just feel hopeless & stupid my sensible part of me knows nothing will ever happen but he has this hold on me. I need to get over him but I don't know how. I'm gonna lose a friend too not that he was ever a great one to start with. :-(
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written by Older but not wiser , 29 November, 2011
I must say I related to all the above pain-and I have certainly tried all the "remedies." Keep busy! Keep distractions going! and on and on. I am even older than Rizzo, proving that unrequited love has no age limit! Being older doesn't make you particularly wiser, but it does bring home the fact you are facing "the end" sooner than later, and how one wishes it could have been different. I've been to therapy, taken anti-depressants, you name it. I have tried to be just "friends". Epic fail. I still love him and when I hear from him about he and his girlfriend's activities it is awful. He certainly cares for me and admires me, but that is not all I want. I am trying to not e-mail him, or send him a picture of something we both are interested him, and I have had some success. Look at me! I haven't written for 2 weeks! When I do cave, or when he occasionally writes me, it sets me back to square one, so the answer of course is to cut off any communication. That is a struggle that I am having a terrible time with. We are really friends, truly, I miss joking and talking about our interests, and gossiping and so forth. I just miss him, period. All the time. Night and Day. (sounds like the song.) Am trying to pull up my big girl pants and "forget" him, but as all the above testifies, it ain't easy. Also, when you are young, at least you have the time to pursue another romance. We also live across the country, and to add to the mess, I am married, so if I wanted to find another partner at almost 70 (which of course wouldn't include him, and he is the only one I am interested in) it is pretty depressing. My husband is a perfectly nice man. Ah the if only's and regrets.
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written by Jayinlove , 29 November, 2011
I cry almost everyday for this man I love. I have never been on drugs but I may have an idea of what the withdrawal symptoms are like now. I think I literally feel him in my skin,my head and my heart. The tears they just flow.I wanted to be a step mom to his daughter and take care of them the best I could but he told me he loved me and then took it away in a rather callous manner.I thought I would have done anything to get him back but I manage to keep myself in check. His every feature is beautiful to me(although others may see them as faults).
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written by Poppy2011 , 01 December, 2011
He's not even speaking to me now, no reply to texts and I just get the 'feeling' this is it, the end. As much as it breaks my heart I know things will never change & he doesn't want to be with me or be friends so I need to let go. Listening to others on here it gives me some comfort that it's not just me in this situation & I'm not mad!! I know I don't deserve to be treated like this I've been a very good friend, probably the best he's ever had. Easier said then done to just 'move on' but I have to try or I'll never be happy.
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written by So Confused/Lonely , 02 December, 2011
OMG...OK, I left my husband after he cheated on me, got a girl pregnant during our marriage, and let me take care of that baby and our baby for 6 months..I finally got smart and moved 3000 miles away from him. Ive been alone and celebrate for 4 years. Then here We go again, I meet someone that I really Really Really care/love about....he is living in a very bad situation with a woman with 4 kids...She is very negative, and he is obviously unhappy, and I really believe I love him, but he seems to be stuck to her side....What am I glut toned for punishment???
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written by Poppy2011 , 02 December, 2011
To So Confused/Lonely, I know exactly what you mean. I'm starting to think the stories of how they are hard done by & home life is horrible etc is merely for our benefit. If these men really cared for us we'd be with them. Obviously I understand when children are involved its not as easy but it's not unheard of. Have you told this man how you feel? My situation has been 3 years now & I only told him I loved him once & that was the first time. As time has gone on I'm assuming he thinks I don't love him anymore whereas I still do:-(
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written by .... , 03 December, 2011
its good to help others in love
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written by ......... , 05 December, 2011
Wow. I feel very comforted by reading some of your stories. I am a man in his thirties that has been through some heavy stuff. The true love of my life and best friend..my Mom..died of cancer a few years back. I could not go on living in the same environment after the loss of my mother so my wife and I, packed it up and moved to another country. My wife is all I have but I generally feel lonely anyway in a foreign country, language etc. So I took a language course. I kept to myself mostly but in the end I was completely smitten by this gorgeous student that was just kind to me. Now the class has ended and I can't get her out of my mind. I sent her some old modeling photos of myself because she does some modeling. It's just all so stupid and I should know better. In the end, I love my wife but I feel isolated and lonely..and I just cry with feelings of sadness. I want to see this other woman desperately but I feel guilty at the same time. She knows I'm married and I feel she is being respectful by not answering my e-mails. I'm such a loser.
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written by pauline , 08 December, 2011
if he wants you he will come and get you ... give him a little to know your interested then back right off for a while tell him youd love to see him but your really busy with blah blah ..then watch him chase and most important be true to yourself... do you feel comfortable with him or are you just acting like what you think he will like.. you have to think carefully can u imagine what you could be missing out on while wasting your time with someone who is only using you for there own needs and making you feel sad and down ... girls night out pamper yourself and tell your self he doesnt deserve a hot intelligent woman like me ... or treat him only as a friend dont run to his every demand .. for e.g you ask him can u fix something for me ..if hes too busy ...hes not interested if he was hed find the time to do it .. not just ask you if you can come to his talk the talk have sex and even ask you to do things for him bin himmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. the end.
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written by pauline , 08 December, 2011
oh but meant to say if he still emails txt ect and you are interested think b4 u reply wait a bit then txt bk 2 1 or 2 of his that relate to you but not all of them and u seem desperate for him that scares them away or they keep you as spare change x get my drift xx
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written by Michelle Johannesburg , 11 December, 2011
Its all up to u, what u really want from this ''relationship'', u can tell ur mind it must end but ur heart wont accept. If i was u, u would change slowly, bit by bit, meet new pple, see other life. Only then he will value ur love for him and who knows he might realize u are his other half.
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written by response to vic , 12 December, 2011
vic, I found your story moving. I think that you should go ahead and tell the woman how you feel. I say that because it is not impossible that she might have feelings for you as well (even though she has a girlfriend), and also so that you won't have to live with the "if only I had said something" regret that you might feel later, for instance if you find out in a few years that she is no longer with her girlfriend but is in a relationship with man.
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But if she isn't interested, then you'll just have to forget her. On the other hand, if you think you might be able to employ her again in the future, and if you're pretty sure you have no chance of having a romantic relationship with her, then maybe it would be better to keep your feelings to yourself, in order to avoid weird feelings on the job. Good luck! report abuse
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written by Danbi , 13 December, 2011
Hi, I've met this older woman via the internet. She just wants to be dating and nothing serious, yet, on the other hand, I want more as I have fallen deeply in love with her as we have had sex the once, kissed and hugged each other many times. The other issue is that she pushes me away or she wants me and she said that she only wants me as a friend because of her past relationships, where all the exes have left her for other people. This friend and I have been seeing each other like three times a week as she likes her freedom and independence since the last ex left her after 15 years together (not living with each other for the past ten years, only the first 5 years) they couldn't live with each other or be without each other and that was about a year ago, the ex just left without a word. Then my friend went to look for this person and found them living in Leeds with another lover, my friend felt like she had been used because she was asked to leave her place to go and live down there, she is glad that she had not done so. Anyways my friend says if she changes her mind and likes someone, then she will let me know but I do not think it will be me though I sort of get an impression she enjoys kissing and she does not like being forced into it. I am not sure what to do, please can you help me, thanks.
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written by JacqlynCandice , 15 December, 2011
Ugh, I have the most of feelings for this guy. We started talking, although where I am from it is small, and everyone knows everyone, but we started talking, and he seems really nice, and stuff cause we never spoke before and I never knew anything about him. But I slowly but surly start to get feelings for him, and at the time, he seemed like he liked me a lot, we would talk all the time, and text when we were away, and talk about everything in the world. Then it got bad, when he started dating this girl I have disliked since I knew her. Then I started hearing stuff about him only wanting one thing, and I didn't want to believe it, and despite the fact he was with her, I still talked to him. I eventually got the courage to tell him I liked him. For all the good that did I might as well have been talking to the wall. But in September, he comes up to me, and tells me he broke up with her, and we kiss, only to make me feel pain in my heart after. Then I get angry and text him, because he begins to ignore me, and I tell him I am leaving. He comes to me, even though I was with my mom, and like six of my friends, and just takes my arm and hugs me in front of them all, and tells me he is sorry, and I got to thinking it was all over, because he was acting like he liked me and really wanted me. But then it just got bad, because all he would talk about is that one thing all guys want. And he gets back together with her, and still talks to me, and I had to find out on my own. So I get angry, and tell him what I thought about it. And I know in my heart, and everything in me that can possibly know anything how he is, and even though I hate that girl, he cheats on her, and I know he would do the same. She went through his phone and found bad pictures, and cried but stayed with him. Idk if he was my bf and I saw them I would never speak to him again. But I know how he is and despite that, I still like the boy. I love him with all my heart, and I don't know why. I mean what is wrong? He told me he didn't want the same kind of relationship I want. Why can't I just forget him and let it go? No matter where I am, I can't stop thinking about him
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written by miss P , 16 December, 2011
Reading all these has really helped me, I don't feel alone with my pain any more. I've known my love for well over a year. I fell for him on our first date. Was a blind date from an internet site(no picture) but we'd emailed for a while and got on so well, we had to meet. He drove an hour to get to me from his city. Was like being hit by a truck as I opened my front door. I never believed love at first site until then. We went for a meal and flirted was so obvious we fancied each other. We had sex in his car that night I couldnt say no. I was in heaven..
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He went home that night and I saw him in 4 weeks when he came to see me the next time. I new he was keeping me separate from his life , he had secrets. He carried on this monthly visiting. My kids new him, I cooked for him ,he slept in my bed. His ghost was around when he wasn't there. I broke up with him because when I asked him after 6 months how he felt he said it was a fling. It nearly killed me, I got ill. My skin broke out in a rash on my hands and feet, was awful. 6 months of friends then we decided to see each other. I went on the train to see him. He took me to a shopping mall but whilst we were there he received a phone call from his bro in law telling him his wife had committed suicide!! apparently he told me then she had been suffering from depression for years and he had been separated for 4 years. He lived with his mum. I supported him through a very rough 6 months seeing him twice in all. All the way through I new he saw other women from the dating site. I was about to see him recently but backed off because I couldn't stand the other women. So were back to being just friends. Right at the beginning he helped me set up my web site for my business and he still hosts it for me. I now he says he doesn't feel the way I do, but he wont let me go. He's just about to retire from a job he's done for all his life and he's buying a house near his mum. I love this man so much. When he was going through his bereavement I asked him to live with me so I could look after him. His pain was mine. He refused. So I'm stuck in friendship mode. This means we just email occasionally and I never see him. I miss him daily. What am I going to do? I date others but no one is ever as good as him. report abuse
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written by sucker for love , 23 December, 2011
Its not that someone is better than you for him. Its just that he may be a narcissist borderline and the fact that you r showing him so much love is empowering his ego and taking all of your energy. So get your energy back and use it on your own self esteem.
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written by miss P , 25 December, 2011
Thanks for the advice SFL
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I do realize this is my challenge. Stop dreaming and think of myself more. In reality I know it will go nowhere. It's not real love either, just very powerful lust really. He's very charming and I'm so easily flattered. New years reso... get a grip and learn to mean it when I say NO!! report abuse
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written by miss P , 26 December, 2011
Just read up on the narcissist personality and how they can affect/manipulate you. My eyes are wide open now... he's a classic I've been manipulated for far too long.
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Thanks sooo much xx report abuse
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written by Nazu , 27 December, 2011
I am 27 years old and have also fallen for a loser. I have been seeing him for over 2 years. I've bent over backwards for him, but now have realized he will never love me. He is talking about getting married. But has told me he doesn't want me.
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He has completely destroyed me. I won't let him ruin me. A man who loves me unconditionally has proposed and I have accepted. That is the only way I can forget about him. I want a man who will love me for me. My love for Hussain isn't the same as Abul. The person I am marrying is lovely and I respect him and he respects me. The love we share is healthy. One thing life has taught me is be with people who love you and are kind to you. Accept what you cannot have and appreciate what you do have. Let go of the hope that that person will love you one day. You are just wasting your life. Don't let a loser ruin your life. Don't wait for him because he won't wait for you. Make yourself happy by being with someone who deserves your love. I will always love Abul in an obsessive manner. But love my fiance for loving me. Please find peace for your own insanity. report abuse
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written by Kim1 , 01 January, 2012
I too have wasted 4 years of my life with a narcissist. He has been in and out of my life for
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4 years, he would come back tell me he loves me then ditch me and go be with other girls, then come back. He would rub other girls in my face while we were broken up, I finally realized that he is mentally ill. Now after 4 years I am leaving the state. I have to give myself a chance. I don't want to waste another 4 years hoping it will change and be in an apartment wasting away while he is not thinking of me at all. report abuse
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written by unrequited lover , 12 January, 2012
i was too in the same situation...but i have gradually overcome it because i believe u have one life and there are umpteen task to be done. make love part of your life not the heart of your life, i know you can't love someone else but why to cry over that feeling. let that feeling be there like zillions of other feelings that we have. divert your attention for some higher cause like charity,helping someone take my words when u will into the eyes of these needful u will find so much of love in their eyes for u that your love for him will start appearing small.
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written by Sad and sad , 15 January, 2012 i have a same situation too.. i'm craziest about someone who never looked back at me, i just cry and cry.. and the one i loved have a girlfriend.. his girlfriend is sister of my best friend, how could i love him?? Sister of my best friend is too nice and beautiful, how could he betrayed her? never! and the one i loved is really crazy about his girlfriend.. i can't do anything.. i just can pray to them.. i hopefully they will together forever.. and she (girlfriend of the one i love) know that i love her boyfriend.. report abuse
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written by MissMelissa , 16 January, 2012
So I need some help. I have a roommate I have lived with for over 2 years. During that time I think I have fallen in love with him. His eyes his smile. I also have always wanted kids he knew how much I did and he wanted a motorcycle so he said u buy me a bike I will give u my special seed. He did this deed once and got pissy when I would ask so I gave up. I have had feelings of love for him and could see myself with him. I get jealous when he goes out or talks to other girls. In august he moved out cus I was to clingy and jealous of girls he was talking to. It was hard to get over him moving on and I asked him to come back. I told him to come back that I wouldnt be jealous and he could see who he wanted. He moved back in October. He lost his job, car shit the bed, had no money. So I was supporting him. Gave him a cell phone, food, let him use my car, buy him clothes, cigs. He likes to hold my bank card cus he says it makes his life not feel as crappy. Whatever he wants I get it for him. He searches the computer on dating sites and only occasionally looks for a job. When I ask him about getting a job he says he does not want to inconvenience me cus my job is more important. So I told him that I loved him and he using me more than a roommate. I live with him so it's hard to not have feelings for him. He occasionally tells me he loves me and grabs my boobs. So I get mixed feelings. And him not truly loving me is turning me bitter. Cus I do all this stuff for him and he is a big mooch. We have arguments and he does not see that he is using me. What do I do?
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written by ... , 17 January, 2012
All I can say is... if u really want to stop loving this guy then u gotta do something about it. No matter how much this hurts, just walk away. I guess you could still be friends but it does depend on what is best for the relationship.
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written by You can make it , 18 January, 2012
Here is the remedy.
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I was in the same position as most of the people here. I loved a man who didn't love me back. It hurt me, it pained me, I was so broken. All I could think of and meditate of was him! I became a zombie at work, a zombie at home, and a zombie in life itself. I stayed locked up in my house because when I went outside, two people holding hands would remind me of this man, everywhere I looked I would see his face. When I was awake its all him I thought of, when I went to bed, it was all him I dreamt about, while he probably slept well or in another woman's arms!. At work if I even went to the loo, or away from people, it was him I thought of. I would get so distracted by him in my mind that I started loosing track of things, time, self esteem, confidence, and in all this I lost myself too!. I did the worst, I stopped taking care of myself, that evil feeling of rejection hit me hard, I felt ugly, I looked in the mirror saw ugly, I smelt ugly, everything about me became ugly - I thought "why, why cant he love me?". Then I prayed one day for God to take care of things, and I felt what I had never felt before. it was not a long prayer or a prayer of a righteous person, believe me, but just some words I spoke to God while I was on my pillow drenching it with tears over that guy, as was the normality every night! All I can say is that everything changed. I felt overwhelming wisdom to deal with it. Its simple, but the hard part is you have to be willing to do it. Its a killer who has attacked you and you are fighting to stay alive!. Tell him/her you won't be seeing him again or talking to him again because you have to "take care of me". Delete anything that has a link to him, except his number so that you know its him and you don't answer. Don't let him sweet talk you into staying. Don't call call him, text him, answer his call, e-mail etc, don't meet with him, run away from this pain like you are running away from a lion!. Make a chart that you tick everyday for effort in not calling him. Hang out with friends and family, don't allow time alone to meditate about him/her or to nurture the feelings. Take care of yourself, exercise, groom, eat well, sleep well and timely times, do some activities you have always wanted to do - just remember he/she is not to be called. He/she will soon get erased from your mind slowly and finally you will be free. You will look at each day of the full month and realize that all the days have been ticked, you have overcome. REMEMBER YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING 100%. report abuse
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written by mcmeerkat , 19 January, 2012
Okay... I've been going through a crazy love thing and won't go into it here. Too long a story.
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The first thing that changed from my moping around and heartbroken nausea was deciding that I wasn't going to allow myself to let someone make me feel this rubbish. NOT "I'm not going to allow him to make me feel like this." He's just fine. I clearly wasn't. And yes, I thought I was having an emotional and mental breakdown. Secondly, a friend gave me "Why Men Love Bitches." I looked at it and said "I'm not reading that cr*p." However, I did and it changed my life. I've read it three times and I regularly pick it up and read underlined sections when I'm feeling a little anxiety. Men respond to no contact IF THEY ARE INTERESTED IN YOU. Thirdly, I learnt never make someone your priority when you're their option. Fourthly, if a guy doesn't want a relationship, there really isn't a lot you can do about it. But, you MUST FOCUS ON YOURSELF. Heal yourself. Be good to yourself. Do something everyday that makes YOU feel good. You are happy with or withOUT him. Next, if you're obsessing over a guy, it becomes part of your energy. He'll pick up on it when you see him, but won't know what it is, he'll just know that something about you is repelling him slightly. He may not even be consciously aware of it. So, every time you start thinking about this guy change the thought to a positive affirmation. i.e. you're a singer and you haven't had any gigs lately. You're fantasizing about the next time you see this douchebag who's dangling a carrot in front of you all the time. You catch yourself fantasizing and immediately change the thought process to "I love it when I book singing gigs." Or whatever works for you, but it has to be a thought or affirmation that makes you feel good. It encourages positivity and focus on YOU instead of negativity and focus on HIM. Yes, you might say you're 'manifesting' the relationship, but actually you're just obsessing. I made the decision to focus on myself, be positive, have self-respect and dignity and not wallow in my feelings. Make the decision to move forward and up not wallow. Love and light to you all xxx report abuse
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written by rooroo124 , 23 January, 2012
I know that it is hard when you are truly in love with someone, to just let them go, but that is what you need to do. He is using you. Also think of the poor girl who doesn't even know you exist... your helping him to break her heart... Sometimes we all just have to look at the big picture. Even if it is the most difficult thing for us to do.
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written by Confused Love , 27 January, 2012
Hi im a 18 year old bi high school boy and i just recently started txting this kid who i think i fell in love with i feel as if we were meant to be. But the only thing is i dont know if he i bi or even gay. But he does have a girl friend which is a huge downer!
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But i have a felling that he likes me. When we text each other he always texts with smiley faces or even winky faces. Every time i see him he always has the biggest smile on his face. But i dont know if he does that for everyone. Also two times that he apparently was drunk he texted me and called me baby doll and at another time he called just plan baby. But i dont know if he was joking, messing with me or if maybe someone else had his phone! Im not sure that he knows Im bi but i sure he does because everyone else knows. I dont know if he likes me or not and i dont know what to do! I dont want to say anything about it to him because i like him a lot as a friend! And i dont want to say something to him about it and then him never want to talk to me again. I dont know what to do! report abuse
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I know that I cannot move on. I wish I could. I wish I could go for an hour without thinking about him, wanting him, needing to be with him, talk to him.
So I'll continue to trawl the internet, hoping to find advice on how to stop feeling this way...