How Far is too far?
written by Billy , 30 November, 2006

Thank you for the advice. I will try and let it be and get to know him... but really how far is too far? When should it stop... movies, dinner, dancing?

My girl has a lot of friends of the opposite sex
written by JWL , 01 December, 2006

Well my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends and it sorta bothers me when she tells me what they do when they hang out like how she lays in there laps and they rub her head or give her back rubs and stuff. I try not to let it bother me but it seems like she says this stuff to make me mad or something - she knows it bothers me but she still does it. She told me that one day she was going to go see her friend at work and bring him lunch and wait till he gets outta work and then they were going to go shopping and hang out. I tried not to let her know that it bothered me but I'm sure she noticed I don't know what to do. i know have a problem and I want some advice so i can try to solve my problem.

Wow... I hear ya.
written by Billy , 01 December, 2006

I know -- that is a drag -- I feel that their should be boundaries of respect for a guy. How can we ever really know what is normal or something that we should be more firm about. If my GF talked to me about back rubs and that type of thing it would bother me. Maybe she is doing it and I just don't know... that might be good or bad. Tough situation. I know this is bothering a lot more guys out there -- and there is not a a lot of articles that deal with this topic. It is usually the guy having other BG's -- but today it is point the other way.

Bottom line
written by Scallawag , 24 January, 2007

Get rid of her if you don't like her traits. There are a ton of women out there... more than half of which are probably willing to treat you with more respect. I mean.. come on. A "Deep relationship" my muscular buttox... If the relationship is right there is no cause for her to go elsewhere for that emotional support she's looking for.

My wife's friend
written by Trying , 11 April, 2007

I'm currently experiencing the same situation. My wife became friends with a co-worker whom she developed a very close relationship with about a year ago. Normally I wouldn't mind, however, this guy is the type of person who likes to joke around about sexual situations and for some reason he's always hugging or physically touching my wife. I talked to my wife about this and told me that he didn't bother her or that she didn't feel uncomfortable with this guy. She insists that they are just friends and nothing more. However, knowing that I was uncomfortable with him, she backed away from their friendship and started to keep to herself around him. Although, I was happy because she did this, I can tell that she is not happy with the whole situation. Now, I feel like I may have over-reacted.

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written by mkk , 05 February, 2008

My situation is similar. The problem I'm having is the influence she is getting from her male friend. He is younger and just out of college. She can relate with him based on her own past experiences. She now has the desire to go out and regain her college youth. I'm not sure if she realizes this but it really has baring on how she responds to me, almost like I'm to old for her and I'm not meeting her needs. I have let her have the freedom but am very anxious about the health of our relationship. I have advised her that this is a recipe for disaster by exposing herself to this type of lifestyle especially when she travels for work. She doesn't connect with me or seem to give the respect I deserve. She denies that there is any issue at all and I'm not sure how much more to push the possible issue with her denial.

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written by Same Thing , 05 August, 2009

My girlfriend met a guy about 3 or 2 weeks ago. They became really good friends she says. And that she likes him as a brother. But shes always telling stuff that they do, and things about him. That makes me mad. She said that hes jealous of me. But i dont know why.
She tells me she loves me and not him. But im starting to have doubts she loves me. I dont want to breakup with her. I love her too much. I just hate the fact that shes always hanging out with him. Shes bringing him on vacation with her and her family...

The sad thing is..her mom or dad dont know about me..or us..or us being engaged...

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written by i feel all of you , 24 August, 2009

i hate life i have to deal with this same shit day to day, me and my girlfriend dont even hang out anymore she just hangs out with her guy friend and we/ve been together for 2 years, hes known her longer but is weird he just buys her stuff offers massages and never knows when to fuck off. pisses me off.

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written by Elhaan Khan , 17 September, 2009

Hi this is Elhaan Khan from Pakistan. I recently broke up with my girlfriend. My gut feeling always had this thought that she was cheating on me. She had a facebook account for almost one year but she disclosed this on me in the first week of June and also shared her gmail and facebook account. Until now, she had only girls as friends on face book but in the first week of August all of sudden she added a male childhood friend of her. Although they discussed general stuffs but I could see a little frankness from my girlfriend by calling him dude. Before that, she started going to Gym and wearing modern cloths and also making new girl friends. Besides, prior to that, she changed her gmail password twice in a single day and gave me her new password after 5 days. She told me that her childhood friend is 20 years old but somehow I found out that he too is 22 years of age. Though, we are apart now but my heart has still a special space for her. Tell me is all these signs of cheating? In month of April, she also changed her yahoo ID password that I had for almost six months. She came up with this strange story, for which I could not make head and tail, that her father wanted access to her ID that’s why she had to change it. We met thrice, but most of the time we used to keep contact over the phone and net as she was living in another city which was almost 250 miles away from mine. Every night we used to have a sex over the phone and net but never did in real. Recently, before we broke up, she told me that we should talk over the phone after every alternative day rather than everyday. I get the feeling either she was unfaithful or a psycho case. She had an affair with someone before I stepped into her life and I was ok that since that would have been her first love and love is always a scared relationship. Besides, she had a major issue with her mood swings; they were just too much to bear at times. Few nights back, I found her cell phone kept coming busy for almost two hours. Sometimes, I get the feeling that she just used me to satisfy her sexual fantasy and there was no love but just a blur through which I could not see her real intentions. I would appreciate if you could kindly offer me some help.

Regards,
Elhaan Khan,
Islamabad – Pakistan

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written by Giovani , 15 November, 2009

Ok so yeah my girlfriend has tons of guy friends and i know im a jealous person and ive told her that but like she's very open with them and also too trusting with them and like ive been cheated before so its very hard for me to trust her but i totally love her and she always tells me that she loves me and that she misses me and i know she means it but the problem is that she makes friends without knowing them and she doesnt know what the might think. And i know i might over react but i was right once about one of her guy friends when he said that he wanted a kiss from her... and good thing that she said that the kisses were only for me but i think that she needs to stop being so open with them

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written by the unkown , 18 November, 2009

well to be honest if you trust your gf you have nothing to worry about, it is perfectly normal for a girl to have male friends and vice verse, but if he keeps things a secret from you then you should worry but while she is telling you stuff theres no need to worry. after all you are her soul mate and she should be able to tell you anything. the rule to happiness is always look after yourself 1st do what right by you and if everything else is meant to be then it will all fall into place!

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written by leavehim , 05 April, 2010

JWL, I personally feel like your girlfriend is crossing the line with her opposite sex friends. Unless they are gay, that type of physical contact of a type she would have with a boyfriend, is completely unacceptable in my book.

For opposite sex friendships they should not in any way resemble a romantic relationship. No "dating" stuff, no long, long stretches of time together, hand holding, and so on. Because it leads to romantic stirrings in one or the other friend eventually and causes confusion.

Does your girlfriend surprise you in the middle of the day with lunch?

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written by Earls88 , 13 June, 2010

Ok my girlfriend has this guys she talks to. i know this guy would try for her if she was single, he has admitted it. lately it seems that she is more interested in him than me. so naturally im jealous. but im i being paranoid, or do i have reason to suspect. I trust her with my life, but i just dont trust this guy. I've tried talking to her about it but it only seems to blow up in my face.

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written by Just Another Guy , 28 July, 2010

Jealousy is something that most of us have, it´s normal and some would say healthy up to a certain point, but for some jealousy can lead to a miserable life that given time will destroy any relationship.
I am too victim of uncontrollable jealousy that has unfortunately destroyed several relationships in the past. I have always been a very jealous guy, all my ex-girlfriends and I mean all said it was an insecurity problem. I couldn't understand why they needed guy friends. I would tell them you can have all the girlfriends you want and hang out with them as much as you want but NO GUYS. Of course none of them agreed with my feelings and eventually my jealousy ended my respect and trust in their eyes. After several failed relationships I set myself out to control my jealous and possessive ways. I started off with keeping myself always busy doing things that I truly enjoyed that would keep me away from thinking about her and them. For every guy friend she had I had a girl friend, was it mature of me? No. But it truly helped me. Before I decided to change I was Mr. Luvy, touchy, feely, nice guy. Well NO MORE.

What happened next was not expected but was wished for. No longer was I that needy, possessive, jealous guy. The girls where now the jealous, possessive and loving ones. Sex was dramatically improved. It was as if they where trying to prove they where the right girl for me. I always wanted that girl that would look at me as if I was the only one in the room and would be touchy feely towards me. I learned girls dont want a nice guy or a bad boy they want a man. A man thats responsible self controlled and confident. Best advice is BE A MAN stop with the feelings crap let the ladys be the one with the emotional outbursts you be the calm and collective one.

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written by Brown49491 , 22 October, 2010

Trust me it will ended up with sex

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written by Devo , 30 December, 2010

Thanks for these comments, hard to find real info for guys. My girlfriend (and mother of my child) is a lovey friend type person with everyone. In the beginning of our relationship there were things like letting her gay friends lick shots off her chest, hug and kiss, etc. which I got used to after her telling me I was an idiot because they were gay (like hell that mattered at the time) Then later on, we break up (she kicks me out) and get back together recently (been like4 years together couple months apart). She says how much she misses me, loves me , bla bla bla, but then at this 'gang from high school' reunion over Christmas holidays she invites me out against my better judgment. (All old guy friends) Jealousy is rampant as I always imagine the worst, and given how 'wonderful' she speaks of them all, it makes it worse. I decided to go, and was at first relieved because they were mostly pretty ugly and I never felt threatened...except for one. Later after we all left the bar to an after party, she ended up in a side room with THAT exact one I was threatened by for about half an hour attached at the hip. They were hugging and talking, her arms wrapped around. Kissing every once in a while as she gazed at him and they confided and had a moment. Damn right I was jealous, but never did one thing except try to ignore the fact it was happening RIGHT behind me. Like I felt other people I was talking to become uncomfortable for me....anyway I bring it up later and basically she says I am a complete idiot for being jealous..."he's just a friend"...somehow the words lost meaning and I had to redefine what "friend" meant as I was never the type to do that to a girl....I'm with Just another guy above...I used to be lovey dovey nice, and want to give the world to my girlfriends, but time has come to forget that shit...thanks for the advice another guy...its easy to forget sometimes how to regain control of rampant jealousy based on powerlessness. Become powerful for yourself, worry about everything else second

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written by glenn a , 28 July, 2011

wow is this a joke? if you hang out at a barbershop long enough your gonna get a haircut, i would never accept a relationship where my girlfriend went on dates with other men or laid in their laps. this is probably why the divorce rate in this country is so high, weve been told this kind of behavior is ok. Seriously, licking shots off her chest? no one in my family has ever been divorced and none of the woman behave this way i really dont believe what im reading here.

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written by Holy... , 27 September, 2011

I wouldnt last 5 seconds dating your girl, and im not the jealous type. Way of saying its either them or me, period.

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written by ADVICE TO THE GUYS , 03 October, 2011

Be honest with yourself. This advice to man up or assume they are cheating or anything is only an opinion. You have to talk to each other to see where you two are at. Let each other know and learn each others expectations. Don't try to hide or act different, because in the end, it will hurt you both. Be yourself, if something bothers you, tell each other. Then find out if you can handle that or want that in a person. If someone doesn't and you break up, better you find out now than later on.

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written by nicenthic , 15 October, 2011

I would love to blank the hell out of a girl who lets other guys, gay or not, lick shots off her chest. But date her? Not in a million years.

Guys, we have been born with the innate ability to keep sex separate from our emotions. Most girls do not have this ability. Once you have sex with a girl, she starts heavily investing herself in you. But it's up to you to keep your emotions well guarded when dealing with sluts. For most semi-intelligent blokes who've had at least some action in his life, this is quite easy to do. But it's not so easy for a young guy with his first few lays. This is when he might put his heart and soul into a bad apple (read: slut). He will get burned and then learn from it.

The real morons are the guys who don't learn and invest themselves again in a another slut and possibly marry her. Then they lose a lot more than their hurt feelings - they could be stuck with alimony, child support and even a lost house. Now that's a lesson they wont forget!

Learn some game theory and see how your mindset changes completely. You will be in power and every girl will just be another social experiment and possibly another conquest when you get good at it. You will understand women better than you can possibly imagine and use this new-found power to your benefit socially and in your personal life.

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written by Seriously? , 24 October, 2011

This is complete bologna, in my opinion.

My best friend in the entire world is a guy. Big deal. I call him my brother, and most people actually think we're twins when they first meet us. We both made it clear years ago that no romantic relationship would come between our friendship. And we've stuck to it. When I first met my boyfriend of one year, Gage, he was ridiculously jealous. This was completely unwarranted, considering that my best friend and I have a completely platonic relationship. Even before we started dating, I made it clear to my now-boyfriend that I would not change my relationship with Chandler in any way. Even though it took a while, Gage and Chandler are now amazing friends. If for some reason I can't make it to something we have planned, they hang out anyway. Just the two of them. And it's wonderful.

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written by Daveguy , 28 October, 2011

I can see both sides on this issue. I once dated a girl for 6 months and was pretty jealous of all her guy friends. I was 18 and she was the first girl I really cared about, so I guess I can pin it to that. After 5 months however, she started talking about this guy 'Dan' and I thought it was no big deal. She kept talking about how funny he is and how much fun she had with him- until one day I read her text messages and found her inbox full of inappropriate messages from this guy. Some talk about how they cant believe how close they were after just a few weeks and how they miss each other so much. Needless to say I talk to her about it and she says she'll stop hanging out with him. The very next day my friend tells me he saw them hanging out in our school's cafeteria for the last 3 hours.. so I broke up with her because you can't trust a girl like that. 2 months later they were dating. Don't trust a ho! Now with my current girlfriend (It's been 4 years since then) she has a lot of guy friends and she hugs them and everything.. but for some reason it doesnt bug me that much. I think it's the trust issue. I think we are a lot more in tune (subconsciously)to what our loved ones are thinking/feeling than we think. If you don't think you can trust your girlfriend because of how she acts around guys/talks about other guys.. then you probably can't trust her. Age and experience plays a lot into it- on one hand, girls play a lot more games when they are younger (at least in my case) but I think if they haven't stopped f-ing with their boyfriends by their early 20's.. they never will. Take it easy

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written by Stupid boy , 03 November, 2011

I also meet with this kind of problem and I don't know what the way to prevent my jealously...Is it breakup is the best way before both of us get hurt??

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written by a_real_man , 07 November, 2011

what is wrong with u guyz... ur girl is urs only.. and its not about trusting her or what its about respect... if i dont go about flirting and touching other women why must she be touched and spend more time with other guys... gentle they are tonnes of more nice and responsible girls out there... we need to be men with control in our relationships.. not dictatorship but simple male_female control, she must know her boundaries else... vamus!!!

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written by What should I do? , 24 November, 2011

I've been in a relationship with this amazing, girl for just over a year now. I love her loads & tell her everyday. We live 250 miles apart & met online. We don't get to see each other much.Neither of us were looking for a relationship, it just happened. Right from the beginning she lied about her age. She told me she was 21, & after 4 months she eventually told me she was actually 18. She did this because she really wanted me. The thing is, I had already fallen for her, I wanted to make things work. I'm 29. My parents divorced when I was 10, ever since Ive been really scared to get into a relationship and invest myself emotionally with someone for the fear of ending up like my parents. She is actually my first girlfriend. Sad, I know. I had the opportunity to be in relationships but was always scared of separation/rejection. I grew up with my Mum who I always (probably incorrectly) thought I couldn't talk to about relationship stuff. So I felt I never had someone to talk to.
My GF & I talked every day. Sometimes for hours. We would send 30/40 texts a day. I wanted to be a nice, caring boyfriend.
At the beginning of October this year, she started acting differently. Not replying to my calls or texts, & when I did eventually manage to get hold of her she would talk to me for 10 mins or so before saying she was tired and virtually hanging up on me. She even said that I always keep her up till gone midnight talking, which is true. But only because that is when she calls me. I am usually kept waiting for her to call, when she does all I want to do is find out how she is doing, how her day has been and talk about my day etc. You know, just talk like a couple. I find this a struggle to fit into a 10 min conversation.
One night after a heated call I told her I felt like she was ignoring me she told me she felt like I was smothering her. I was quite upset and taken back by this. I didn't realize I was being like that She ended the call on a negative, she rang me back a few mins later apologizing saying she didn't mean what she said. Which confused me. So two weeks went by. She still didn't talk to me much, and I wanted to give her space. After another heated phone call, she said the same thing. Then rang back and asked what was going wrong in our relationship. We were both really upset. We decided to work things out. The thing is, whenever I try and put across how I am feeling she always interrupts and says I am being selfish. Even though I always listen to what she says and how she feels.
So, a couple of weeks ago I decided to go and visit a bar run by one of her relatives, which we had talked about me visiting. I googled and found it straight away along with a link to their social media site. I had a quick look and found that she had a second secret account, which to be fair had only been set up about a week before I found it. After taking a quick look I found that she had sent rather a lot of kisses to another guy. I dug a bit deeper and found that she and this guy are listed as being in a relationship from about the time I first suspected something was wrong. I asked her about it, she said that it was a joke between him, her and their friends. That she never thought I would find out and that she didn't tell me because she knew I would be upset and not want her to do it. I told her I really didn't see the funny side. She then said that I was stalking her etc. Even though I found this all out innocently by looking up her relatives bar. After a day of not speaking, she called me to say she was sorry. That she really does love me etc and that the relationship status is all a big joke. Two weeks after I found this out, the relationship status is still up there. She has protected her 2nd account, and I can see this other guy sending her messages and saying that she is an amazing girlfriend. I should say at this point that he finishes his messages with a wink.
I know there is a big age gap. I spent ages thinking about it, and I decided to go ahead with the relationship because a few people I know are in relationships with similar age gaps, some even greater. They all met at about the same age as myself and my girlfriend. We've not slept with each other yet, I want her to be totally ready etc and she says she wants to wait. Which I'm fine with. She says she isn't cheating on me. But we still hardly talk. She says she loves me, & wants to be with me. I'm a naturally insecure person,lack self confidence & assertion. I accept I have issues I need to deal with. But am stuck as to what to do about this relationship. We talked about the age gap right from the beginning. I told her I was worried that by being with me she might lose out on some of the best years of her life. She told me that she wouldn't and she would have those years with me etc, so we agreed that before anything "serious" happened like marriage/kids/living together that she would finish her studies etc.

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written by ITS ME OR HIM , 05 December, 2011

girls love it the attention they get and the way they make us guys jealous after reading all this i have a pretty good idea on what to do and i want your feedback if it works guy. WHAT EVER THEY DO YOU DO but WORSER.... soon they will realize or ask you wtf are you doing then you tell them thats how it feels when your doing it too but a million times worser... over the ages women have found that the real way to control a man is to make him love her and then make him jealous
WHAT EVER YOU DO DONT TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT COS WHEN THEY GET ANNOYED THEY WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU!!!! GIVE THEM THEIR OWN MEDICINE AND LET THEM SEE HOW IT TASTES.

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written by zeldo , 03 January, 2012

Dump her, plenty out there who will only want you, she cant be trusted.

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written by Chang , 04 January, 2012

Guys we don't have issues... I firmly believe we have a right to feel neglected and sad and jealous. Women are the coldest, careless, dumbest things God has ever put on this earth. This jealousy we have is nor a bad thing, it shows that we care for our girls. I have read every single one of these comments, and I think I'm scarred. People have to go through so much pain for no reason... My fellow friends, do not feel that this jealousy is bad or wrong. It isn't. I hope someday every girl in the world realizes how much they hurt us. God has a plan for everyone. I'm sure he will take care of us. Thank you for reading.

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written by shadowobserver , 12 January, 2012

man first in an fantasy kinda talk i would first get the guy by himself and give him a serious talk and threaten him like tellin him i have buddies that are gang member or a bike gang or something. and then if ur girl doesnt understand u are uncomfortable leave her ass and make her regret not paying attention to u and putting her self in your shoes

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written by Frosty , 17 January, 2012

Best advice from me
•jealously is normal to a point
•don't let jealously destroy your relationship
•trust, communication, and faithfulness is key with this comes love
•talk and share if your with him or her then there's no secrets and nothing to hide
•only get mad or say something when it's reasonable
•fighting & arguing is normal to a point also
•a closed mouth doesn't get fed. Speak your point express yourself or else it will keep happening and if he or she understands then she or he will respect you and vice versa.

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written by nonokk , 23 January, 2012

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written by Nathan jones , 30 January, 2012

My girlfriend's ex rang her up crying to her, she said to me that she was gonna meet him and see what's wrong. So, I said ok, but I didn't know it was her ex until the next day when she told me. One of my mates saw them walking to hers but he didn't look upset. I ask my girlfriend did he stay at yours and she said yes, but the thing that bothers me the most is that its her ex and even thou she told me she would never cheat on me there's always that feeling that something might happen. Anyway I told him if he talks to her again I'm gonna come to his house and do him in, do you think I'm over reacting or that its the right thing to do?

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written by Nathan jones , 30 January, 2012

Me and my girlfriend have liked each other for 4/5 years and now that I'm going out with her I get really jealous I think that's why I wanna do her ex boyfriend in for crying down the phone to her saying he loves her and then sleeping at her house (even thou she says he slept on the floor)

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written by aditya , 01 February, 2012

dude she's doing cheat with you..¡¡
You should hang out with other girl's.
Then let her think 'bout you.
Let her know your feeling too.
If she will fight with you.
Then go ahead with her, we're just good friend, there is nothing to worry you.