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written by an , 26 June, 2008

Sounds abusive. Watch out!

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written by counselor , 27 June, 2008

I've worked with many compulsive liars. I don't know of any true success stories. At best, compulsive liars can learn to avoid situations where they are most likely to lie and they can learn how to mitigate the damage it causes. But lying and the problems it creates will always be an issue in their lives.

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written by Moo , 01 July, 2008

I married my Cl a few months ago, knowing exactly what I was getting - a wonderful, warm, caring, and loving man who had a problem. An unusual one, but one I accept with my eyes wide open. He had a horrid childhood, and he lied to protect himself. He wasn't made to lie, it was the way he chose to protect himself. Throughout his life, he has not been able to form the close bonds he desperately needs as his lies have driven people away.
We face the future together with open eyes. I don't regret the choice I made for one second. The lies he has told me in the past have hurt me badly, and I still have my own problems to deal with now because of them. But the 99% of the time when our life is AMAZING, is reward enough for the times when things are hard. No one is perfect. And if you love each other enough you can overcome anything.

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written by dlmac , 11 August, 2008

If admitting it is the first step, what can you do to get your partner to admit it? Is intervention by friends and family ever advised?

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written by Eish , 14 August, 2008

I know that I am a compulsive liar but never admitted it to anyone up until this moment. I have a very high intelligence level and as much as it has helped me it has also hindered me. I am brilliant at lying because I can see all the variables and form the best believable/provable/suitable lie with the least or no repercussion. I can also structure strings of lies based on research/knowledge which will result in an end goal. I can even lie and put things in place afterwards to corroborate my lie in the future. What also helps me to lies is the fact that I understand human nature and people quite well and I to exploit that ability. I am a combination of a compulsive and pathological liar as I lie about small things as well as more goal oriented lies. I know that I have a problem and been trying to deal with it by myself, but it is hard to stop lying. I have not always been like this though. Its insane, I even lie about things which would not make a difference whether I lie or not. I do it to protect myself, but it?s not always clear what I am protecting myself from.
I have recently come to the conclusion that my girlfriend (on and off for 4 years) has become a compulsive liar. She was not always but I think that our relationship hurt her really badly as well as some issues in her past. So now I am sitting with a dilemma, I know she is a compulsive liar and I catch her quite often by doing research and just knowing people and her nature very. I often have to be underhanded for example checking her cell phone or emails after I suspect she is lying (I have always been right so far). I often have evidence on BLACK & WHITE that she is lying but I cannot confront her with it because then she is going to cut off my access to evidence of her lies. So at this stage she just denies it and I have to accept the fact that I know she lies but can?t rub it in her face.
The strange thing is that she is the only person I never lied to. I consider going through her emails without her knowing as lying, hence I used the past tense. But other than that I do not lie to her. So this puts me in a precarious situation. Her lying has not involved cheating up until this point but I am scared that it might escalate.
I love this woman with all my heart and I treat her like a queen ? you could ask her yourself (that?s actually a really funny line taking the situation into consideration)
I have no idea what to do.

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written by wedeservedbetter , 31 August, 2008

This story sounds just like mine I just had to get a restraining order from my pathological liar husband I have been through complete hell with him. At first I would get so confused nothing added up I felt like he was not being honest but when I would confront him he would make me feel bad like I was a horrible person for thinking that way about it he would never admit he was lying and when I had a lot of evidence he would go into a rage and be abusive verbally and sometimes physically. I got to the point where i doubted myself and my own instincts entirely because he was so convincing even when it was so obvious he was lying I can't explain how that happens. He blamed everything on his horrible childhood I felt so sorry for him and I loved him so much that I kept forgiving him for treating me bad when I should not have. After we had a baby and he got fired from two jobs because of his lying and became even more abusive I realized I had to do something to get help so I sought counseling we seen 5 different counselors and all said he was a pathological or compulsive liar and maybe had chemical imbalances as well. He didn't believe any of them well sometimes he did and he would say I really need help I can't control this etc. Sicking by his side and loving him endlessly really backfired because when he could not lie anymore because the counselors could tell he just stopped caring about me and the baby he just quit and became so evil within two days I had to get him out of our lives. This man is completely insane he went out of his way to be loving to me he would send several messages everyday he loved me, poems, cards, flowers, phone calls, stuffed animals even wrote me a song and recorded it. He made my breakfast every morning and my lunch because he wanted me to eat well during our entire relationship he always woke up when I did not matter how much sleep he got because he wanted to spend time together he adored our baby and said she meant the world to him. I mean this man had me and all of my friends and family thinking I was his world everone would say you have the best husband but only a few knew about his lying and rage issues. I never thought he would do anything to entirely hurt us because the issues were maybe 10% of the time and the other 90% he was the best husband anyone could ask for. Now he is completely out of the picture he won't help financially he doesn't want to see our baby and he has not one ounce of remorse or compassion for what I am going through he left me in such a bad financial situation I have no money and he is going out to bars and dating 3 days after he had to leave he joined a dating website worse a bar pickup website. He completely flipped on me. I feel like the version I knew died or worse yet never really existed and it is very hard because I really loved him so much and just wanted him to get help it is hard to imagine how someone can be so dedicated and loving one minute and then care less the next. If anyone out there is like him and can explain please let me know because it haunts me every single day.

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written by rob23 , 22 October, 2008

hi im 23 years old and i think im a compulsive liar, i keep lying about stuff about my past to other people in part because im ashamed of the things that ive done, the really bad part its that i can lie looking into your eyes this was kind of fun and it made me feel safe because im always trying to hide my past and there its nobody that i have been able to tell the truth so far, i admit i have a problem but i need help, thanks to my ability to lie i am about to lose my girlfriend and i really love her, i keep telling her that i will change but i always end up lying about some stupid stuff that doesnt even matter but it counts as lie and i really want to stop lying please any advise would help...

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written by fb83danny , 19 November, 2008

I'm a compulsive lair, started when I was 6 y/o.I was molested at age 8, and both parents were dead before age 11. I'm the baby of nine children. I now in a relationship were I don't want to lie anymore. There are too many stories in my head and I'm very confused. I feel my lying as been a coping trick I've used all my life for staying alive, and like the statement above "NO matter how hard I try not top lie, I do and its always about little stupid stuff". Like the person above I truly want to stop.

Can anyone help??

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written by Dontlietomeanymore , 22 November, 2008

I can't diagnose what kind of lair your new husband is because I'm not there, if he's already showing signs of violence, then it won't take long before he lays a hand on you or your son. By then you will become both financially and emotional dependent and to scared and confused to know the right thing to do. No matter how smart you are an emotional manipulator is an expert on getting you dependent on them for everything or at least make you think that you are. He's throwing fits this early because you found him out faster than he planned. He'll never really truly apologize. If he does he adds something to it that attempts to blame you, your son, or something/anything else. Anything so you'll feel sorry for him. Emotional Manipulators need time to get you completely dependent on them. When they do, the abuse gets worse. Until one day, you become that woman on T.V. everyone is talking about and feels sorry for. Think about yourself and your son. You are a strong and smart. You've been on your own before. You can do this too! Make sure your family and friends know and allow them to help you keep a good perspective on things! You'll be amazed how quickly you discover things when others are helping you to find if he has a mental illness or he's just an %$#. Be careful and trust only those you feel will keep it quiet and are willing to be around this person to help you without telling or showing him signs or your intentions. My husband was always that shy guy who just needed a little longer to get comfortable around others. Turned out he was watching everyone, their behaviors, their speech, etc... so he can pick and choose who he wanted to be friendly with. Never allow him or anyone else make you feel that this is a private matter. He depends on using tactics to isolate you and never be ashamed. Emotional Manipulators are experts at conning people. They are especially experts on the people they love and suppressing them so they slowly become dependent. These people feed off your emotions and plan to make and keep you dependent. They will use any tactic they can to coerce and intimidate you including making you feel stupid, ashamed, and guilty. Your new husband was focused on working you more than he was your son. This is why your son was able to see things faster than you. Children may be inexperienced and innocent, but when they're not the focus of the person doing the manipulating, they see and understand much more than most adults give them credit for. Emotional Manipulators usually make the mistake of thinking that they are smarter than others. They always think they are smarter than children which is why your son was able to nail the guy to the wall first. Now it's your turn. Not so sure? Google: Emotional Manipulation and read the first few information based articles. A stranger overheard me talking to a friend about some of the situations my husband put me through, this stranger told me he was a counselor, and recommended that I google Emotional Manipulation. He never gave me a card and I never saw him again. Denial was my first reaction and I held off for almost a month. Then one day my four year old caught Daddy lying to her over the smallest thing and ran to tell me. He walked into the room and heard her. After I was done talking with her and she went into the other room to play with my eight year old, he followed her and started in on her verbally. When I went after him to protect her, he backed off her. The next day things got worse and I threw him out. Now I'm divorcing him. I'll never be rid of him, he's the father of my children. But at least I won't have to deal with the constant deception and manipulation on a daily basis and I can take better care of myself and the kids. Unfortunately, I discovered after several years of marriage that it's hereditary. Now I have to keep an even closer watch on my children. If they show signs, they are going to get the help they need before they turn eighteen and I will not become an enabler like my in-laws. When normal decisions come into play ask yourself; Does this make me more dependent on him? Is this decision a step towards another decision that will take place later that may lead you to become more dependent on him? (baby steps) Is he pressing me to agree with him? Is he trying a little too hard to convince me that this is the best for our family? Answer these and decide for yourself. Good luck and God Bless You and your family.

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written by Anonymous Observer , 27 November, 2008

Dealing with a compulsive liar is very difficult. There is, however, hope for both the compulsive liar, and the one being issued the lies.

If you are in a relationship with a compulsive liar, don't confront them too pressingly on every small detail. Develop a list of inconsistencies (literally, if you'd like), and then approach the individual.

Do not immediately hammer them on the various flaws or discrepancies in their stories. At first, tell them that you have to talk to them about something important regarding the trust and openness of your relationship, ensure them that they can talk to you about anything, and remind them that you deserve to know the truth and require openness in your relationship.

Then, begin calmly informing the individual of what you know, and don't fall into any last minute traps that they may try to get you to buy into. (As you know, compulsive liars get highly defensive at the time of exposure - remain calm.)

At this point, inform the compulsive liar that your feelings remain unchanged, but that they have to establish a relationship of truth and openness with you, just as you have given to them. Let them know that it will no longer do them any good to lie, as you will likely know when they're being deceptive, and that there's nothing so unbearable that your love can't find a way to work through it (tell them that it is pointless, and that lying will achieve them no end with you).

After this, let them know that they have to divulge all of the lies they've presented you with. Tell them outright that you know there are more things that must be untrue that you simply weren't able to pick up on - tell them they have to tell you these things, and make sure they do. (If you catch them on a dozen lies, there won't just be one or two other lies at this point... There will be many more, regardless of how keen your senses may be.)

Following this, plan on relapses. (With time, and as the truth becomes more clear and your partner sees that you are accepting of them - which you MUST be - the compulsive habit will diminish.)

Plan on the compulsive liar breaking down emotionally, or perhaps even that you might suffer emotionally. (Lies will hurt, due merely to the fact that you care so much for this person you may now feel you never truly understood, or grossly miscalculated.)

Understand, also, that in the process of establishing the truth, the first explanation of the truth is seldom the complete truth in the early stages of treatment. Know that the story will likely change, and gradually align more with the truth. Keep track of how these stories interweave, and any new inconsistencies that may arise. Be kindly questioning, and admit when you do not believe something (be sure to give the benefit of a doubt, still, but stick to your beliefs when you know something is untrue, regardless of how the compulsive liar may try to manipulate or further deceive you).

Lastly, know that there is a likelihood that the compulsive liar will have forgotten some elements of the truth, due merely to the magnitude of lies they have built their self-image on. (Accept this - though only to an extent - regardless of how much you want to know something. If you truly need to know about something the compulsive liar may have, himself, forgotten the truth of, then ask them if they would mind thinking about it for a day or two, knowing how important it is to you. There's a chance that something might come up, but know that, at times, these are the issues so devastating that the compulsive liar will be fearful or ashamed to think about them. Regardless of the result, thank them, and remind them that you understand, lest they should feel they've disappointed you.)

It is a combination of patience, understanding, communication, perseverance, understanding the worth of their partner, and seeing how their lies hurt their partner that ultimately cures the compulsive liar.

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written by LIED2again , 20 December, 2008

I THINK MY FIANCE IS A COMPULSIVE LIAR AS THINGS HE SAYS DONT ADD UP WHEN I ASK HIM THE SAME QUESTION HE TELLS ME DIFFERNT ANSWERS, I HAVE CONFRONTED HIM MANY TIMES ABOUT HOW I CAN NOT TRUST HIM AND HE DOES EMOTIONALLY BREAKDOWN HE TELLS ME HES SORRY ADMITS A FEW LIES BUT SOMEHOW TURNS IT AROUND LIKE I HAVE DONE SOMETHING, ONE TIME I DID KEEP SOMETHING FROM HIM BUT VERY SOON IN THE RELATIONSHIP I TOLD HIM ABOUT THIS FACTOR AND IT WAS VERY EMOTIONAL TO DIVULGE PERSONAL INFO TO HIM. HE ALWAYS THROWS THIS ONE OCASSION BACK IN MY FACE AND MAKES OUT IM A LIAR, WELL IM NOT NOT AT ALL IN MY EYES, HE IS A BIG LIAR, IM SICK TO DEATH OF THE LACK OF TRUST RESULTING FROM HIS STRINGS OF LIES, I WANT OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP AS HE GETS VERY ANGRY AT ME SOMETIMES ABD I BECOME VERY SCARED AND IT REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER LIAR I DATED WHO DID ALSO LOST HIS TEMPER AND BEAT ON ME, THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS MY FIANCE DOES NOT BEAT ON ME BUT HE MAY AS WELL THE WAY I FEEL. IM LYING TO MYSELF HOPING IT CAN WORK OUT, I CAN FORGET THE PAST LIE WHEN NEW ONES ARE STILL BEING FORMULATED, IM SO SAD ABOUT IT, I WANT TO HAPPY SO MUCH THATS ALL I EVER WANTED.

LOOK OUT FOR

1.WHEN I QUESTION HIM, HE SHOULDNT GET TOTALLY ANGRY AND FLIP OUT
2. WHEN THEY LIE TO MY FACE ABOUT SOMETHING I KNOW THEY R LYING ABOUT, THATS WRONG
3. THEY DONT TRUST ME
4. THEY ALWAYS QUESTION ME WHEN IM NOT HIDING ANYTHING
5. MOST MEN LIE TO GET A STUNNER LIKE ME SO BEWARE OF THE ANY MAN

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written by theresa f , 20 December, 2008

I am married to a recovering alcoholic/pathological liar/bpd wonderful man. I love him I know that his past has a lot to do with the way he is. He is like a little boy trying to gain unconditional love. We are in counseling and recovery meetings and I understand that it is God's will to heal these broken damaged people. It is very hard not to walk away. It is very hard to walk away. I stay confused and feel like a fool but I know that God is not done with either of us yet. It is a process and we have found wonderful resources through recovery for the city. If you are interested in finding out more go to r4ci.com.

I pray for both the liars and those involved with them up here. I can relate to many of the stories. At one point my husband became so inraged and unable to control his anger I had to have him arrested and placed a protective order against him. It was very difficult. But I have to say that it was the best thing I ever did because it brought him to rock bottom and to begin to truly seek help....do not place yourself in danger if you are with someone with uncontrolled anger issues - It is a short matter of time before they will intentionally or unintentionally hurt you physically. if you love them then hold them accountable for their actions and get intervention as soon as possible. I encourage you each to pray for God's guidance in your situations. Listen carefully - He will answer and guide you through the darkest of times.

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written by Currently dealing with a CL fiance , 22 December, 2008

I have recently found out that my fiance is a compulsive liar. I was devastated as the lies started to unfold. His lies in a messed up way have landed him in jail at the moment. I'm faced with a horrible decision. I have contacted counselors on his behalf and the replies are all the same, its up to him to want to change. I love this man with all my heart and am willing to give this a chance. The only thing is he has to want it too. I am debating whether or not I even want to go to the jail to see him. He has broken my heart with his lies. But i love him. Does it get any easier? I am sticking to my guns though. I have done some research and caught him in multiple lies. I am going to confront him calmly and hope for the best. I wrote down the number and address to a mental health facility that is ready and waiting for his call. There is nothing more I can do for him now except wait and hope he agrees our love is worth saving. Though this ordeal will take more then him seeing a counselor I foresee a long and rocky road for us until the recovery. He and I will also have to take part in couples therapy to recover from the deception he has done to me.

For all of you who have dealt with CL I wish you the best of luck. And don't give up. They have a problem just like depression and Schizophrenia. If we give up who will help them?

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written by stupid liar , 28 December, 2008

I have lied too many times to my wonderful husband and this past one may have been the breaking point, and it wasn't even a "big" lie. I don't know what to do. I am very upset and desperate to gain trust back that I don't think I can.

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written by mamab , 05 January, 2009

My mother is a compulsive liar. This has always been the case as long as I can remember. She would lose things and blame it on me and my sisters, saying we'd stolen them. Beat me and lie to my father saying I'd been fighting with my siblings, tell hundreds of small lies and run her friends down for no particular reason other than jealousy. She has now started making up stories about her childhood, that she'd witnessed traumatic events etc. If you confront her she denies everything and gets aggressive and defensive. I've given up trying to change the habit of a lifetime, she just lies and I don't confide anything in her or believe a word that leaves her mouth.

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written by cbg , 08 January, 2009

I am dealing with a compulsive liar. I met him over 4 years ago and we had became friends because he was in a relationship. When he finally became single we started seeing each other romantically. He is a great guy. He is funny, he cooks, cleans and is very attentive but I can't take the lies. Everything he had told me about himself, his income, and his past relationship were lies. I continued to see him in spite of this. We have been living together for 2 months now and I have had it. He lies about stupid little things for no reason as well as bigger things. The last time I confronted him about something (this past weekend) his temper became volatile and he tried to blamed me. That was the last straw. I have asked him to move out. I am exhausted trying to distinguish fact from fiction. I've spent entirely too much energy trying to help him but I realize I can't help him. I walk around sick and stressed out over this behavior but it has no affect on him at all - he has no remorse whatsoever. I AM DONE!! I would advise anyone to turn and run in the other direction. It is too much work and trust and honesty is of the utmost importance.

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written by Rise & Whine , 09 January, 2009

I run into compulsive liars now and then and the best way to deal with them is to avoid them completely. I've thought many times of confronting them or calling them on their lies but why? Like they are going to admit to them. They will probably turn it around and call you crazy for doing so. I'm truly disgusted with most people and their lies. I've become a better detector of a liar than before through observation and through experience. Watch out for those soft-spoken type people...they are the most dangerous because they want others to believe that they are meek and harmless. In fact most manipulating and cunning and will pull a fast one on you anytime. Also, beware of X-eyed & extremely short people...they tend to less faithful and loyal to those who had helped them out. My best advice is to cut them out of your life if possible.

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written by tired , 12 January, 2009

I can relate to something out of every message above.
If you are the 'liar', You firstly need to admit you have a problem. The next step is deciding if you want to change, you can't do it for the loved one in your life, you have start by doing it for yourself. In order to move forward all cards need to be placed on the table. All we want to hear is the truth so approaching us with a list of lies previously told and a 'hand on heart' recognition of the situation you are in will be a massive gesture and step forward. Admitting that you have lied with out being prompted to do so is pure acceptance of who you are and the damage you've caused. You have to accept in advance that it will be shameful, painful and hard to personally expose this 'other you', but remember, we already know. If you're loved one hasn't been tipped over the edge then they will immediately take on board the courage it has taken for you to go to them and are more likely to give you a big hug and re-assure you that you have their full support. All we want is for you to make the first move because we have tried soooooo many times and we are now exhausted. We get tired of trying to disect the truth from the lies and in the end we give up, both on you and our relationship with you. If you want to keep us in your life then you have to be prepared to be honest with us and allow us to help you. A lot of us will only have the energy and will for 'one last try', if you don't want to loose us then you need to come forward to us today. Tomorrow may be too late!!!
Good luck to all liars and lied too.

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written by Allisonyyy , 04 February, 2009

I am in a semi serious relationship with a liar. I love him with all of my heart but, I it is time that i start watching out for myself. He has lied to me four times about doing cocaine. I have been with him when he has done it three out of the four times and still lied to my face about it. He hangs out with people from work and they influence him and he falls into it every time. But, when we are together... things are GREAT! People stop and ask us if we are newly weds... (we aren't but, we just can't keep our hands off of each other). He is seriously a smart and wonderful man but, I am afraid if we stay together any longer... it will just be harder to get over him. Like right now he is out with work people and it is 1:15 am. And here I am laying in bed crying my eyes out. I honestly believe that there is no hope for people who lie. Lying just doesn't start out of the blue... I am sure he has been lying for 28 years now and finally has someone who cares about him (me) to call him out on it. I am fed up with this.

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written by m .e. please stop baby,please get better , 20 February, 2009

I can relate to all of this. Im hurt.Ive been lied to for six mo.now.It seems like it never stops,lie after lie after lie.
Important stuff or not so important stuff.This isnt my first experience with a compulsive liar and at times think its me,but i know its not.i want to stay and help her find herself and become better,i also dont want to hurt anymore.she is very good at manipulation and covering her tracks,but ive caught some things. ive begged endlessly over and over,to get only this lil p.o.s. story.cocaine is one of the more critical things lied about and also where she goes,who shes with,her past,the drinking.its so sad and unhealthy.i really made contact with her the other day,she told me more than shes ever told me,so i feel a lil positive,but im waiting for the big wave now.guess its gonna take a while.she wants me back soo bad,we have barely seen or talked to each other in a month,and who knows whats been going on in that time. im tired of being tired and upset and fishing for the truth. i notice that most of these posts are from women.dont waste to much time,you are worth more.we all are,there are guys like me who dont lie to women at all just because we are passinate about relationships,so dont stop looking,do NOT second guess your instincts. if you guys or ladys get that feeling that you know something,then its usually dead on.

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written by Hoping , 25 February, 2009

So I have been dating this man for about 7 months and I am completely in love with him. He is one of the most amazing people I know. He is honest, caring, trustworthy, and compassionate. I have never felt that close to a man in any other relationship I have ever been in. But I screwed it all up! I have lied to him over and over again about my past and things I have done. I was scared of him knowing the true me and seeing all my flaws and imperfections. I deceived him firstly by trying to portray perfection. I ended a long relationship with another man and jumped right into this one without wanting to disclose any of my past. I straight out lied about things to avoid having to tell the truth. With this lie came many other lies because I had to keep portraying this innocence. I don't know why I did it I guess ti was out of the fear that he wouldn't like me if he knew all of me. Throughout the last 7 months lies about going out with coworkers, how many drinks i have had while being out, lies about talking to my ex a couple of times and lies about slipping up and doing drugs have came spewing out of my mouth. My boyfriend gave me time and time again to come completely clean and every time I would disclose a few here and a few there never revealing all the truth in fear of losing him. In the last week i have come clean with it all. We had a huge discussion a week ago and i revealed 99% of what i had to tell him. I was to afraid to tell him that i had contacted my ex because i thought that would be the last straw. I was selfish in thinking I would lose him and so I didnt tell him. I came out with it the other night and now finally everything is out. I dont know why I have done these things the only thing I can come up with is that I was to coward to face all the truth. He has been so patient and understanding with me but now we are at a point where he cant believe I have told him all of it and I cannot blame him for thinking this. I want to start rebuilding our relationship and regaining his trust but he still thinks there is more. I know that I have to move at his pace and always answer and be there when he wants to ask me questions about any of these lies i have told. I am beginning to worry that he will never be ready to start to rebuild although i know in his heart he wants to. He loves me very much as do I love him. I need some advice I need to know what to do how can i help him see I am ready for an honest and open relationship. I do not want to lie to him anymore and I do want to make this work. I also need to know how to show him how truly sorry I am for everything I have done. please any advice would help or just words you think i need to hear.....
hoping in saint pete....

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written by Hoping , 27 February, 2009

I'm sorry to all those hurting.... I am a liar and am hurting the most amazing man I know. I am trying my hardest to gain forgiveness but I think he is giving up. Please know that some of us liars are willing to change... Don't give up on us....

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written by Crushed&Heartbroken , 18 March, 2009

My fiance, has lied so many times I could not even begin to relay! Has anyone known for a guy to lie even to girls (that he claims not to like) that he likes them and wants to be with them. But given the chance, he doesn't break up with me, and keeps saying he loves me and wants to marry me?

Any ideas? Anyone?

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written by tinkie , 21 March, 2009

My husband and I are both musicians. He is a very accomplished musician that opened for huge bands and played some stadiums. He is well respected and looked up to. I started writing songs about 6 years ago out of nowhere. I barely played guitar and no one had ever heard me sing. I don't know any songs but my own. I never tried singing before. I wrote about 50 songs quickly and within 3 years had released 2 records with some commercial success. My husband played in my band backing me up. I quit about 2 years ago and recently we started up the same project but dropped the rest of the band and just play acoustic (the two of us).
At the same time, he has his band. Again, he is very accomplished and respected.
I just found out that he has been using works of relatively unknown artists and claiming that they are his - stealing their songs! It's been a total lie. He released two records with songs ripped off, no credits given, claiming he wrote them. He performs with his band doing these songs and no one knows. The band and audience all of our friends and press think that this is his work.
I feel betrayed. I don't know what to do.
I feel like I don't know what is a lie and what isn't.
My

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written by Sick&Tired , 23 March, 2009

I've been dating a guy (on & off) for almost 5 years now. The reason we are so on & off is because he has always found ways to deceive me, especially when it comes to other woman. He always flirts with other women behind my back, even though I catch him nearly every time! Every time I catch him, he tries to deny it. Then eventually after lots of pestering, he will fess up. He says he does not know why he lies to me or why he feels the need to talk to other women in such intimate ways. After talking about it last night he said he felt the need to lie sometimes because he does not want me to "yell" at him. Which does not make sense because if he wasn't lying in the first place i would not have any reason to get angry! I have left him so many times, but he always finds a way to convince me that he is going to be better and I give him chance after chance. This is the first time after 5 years that I'm really trying to understand WHY he is this way and looking into compulsive lying. I feel stupid for always taking him back and always getting hurt, but I don't want to give up on him for whatever reason. A lot of responses on here say "stay far away from compulsive liars, don't be in relationships with them, avoid them, etc" but if nobody is there to help these compulsive liars then where do they go? I'm studying psychology currently so he is going to be my first practice patient lol. Wish me luck..

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written by Finally admitting to CL , 01 April, 2009

I have been a compulsive liar for years now. I used my CL as a defense mechanism when I was younger living with my step mother and father. I still to this day lie to my stepmother as a defense mechanism to protect myself and my family. I have also brought my CL into my current relationship which hurts me. I dont want to lie to my fiance but it just happens so naturally that I can seem to control it. I try as hard as I can to not want to lie but it just rolls off my tongue when I do it. I know there are no pills to take to help make this "disease" go away but are there any suggestions on how to work on not lying?

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written by I believe my daughter is a compulsive liar , 12 April, 2009

As with a lot of children, they lie to not get punished, so as a child, my daughter lied her way out of a lot of things. Now she is 22 years old and I never know when she is telling the truth. She is also a thief, which landed her in a jail cell overnight at the age of 17, and to this day, she is still stealing, mostly I believe from me, by taking my credit cards out of my purse and using them, but denies she is the one. Just the other day, she took my tax refund check, which is made out to my husband and I, with the attempt to try and cash or deposit it, and first lied that she knew nothing about it. Then after confronting her again and again, she lied and said she found the check in her cousin's purse, then she said that she took it and did not know why. I don't know which story is the truth.

She lies about every little thing when the truth will do. I'm afraid for her. If she does not stop with the lying and stealing, she is going to end up in jail or even worse. I'm considering therapy, which is why I'm on the internet looking for answers. But if someone out there has any suggestions for help, PLEASE HELP!!! I want to save my daughter who is heading down a dangerous path.

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written by lovely123 , 25 April, 2009

wow. I have one that lies too. I cant stand it.

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written by needadvice , 28 April, 2009

I have been in a relationship with my husband for 21 years. I am just now getting that he is a cl! A little slow but, his lies never seemed to hurt that much before. He would like about smoking cigarettes and money mostly. In our entire relationship he was never in trouble with the law before. Then he had a dramatic experience with his family leaving him rejected by his father and last year he ended up in jail for soliciting a prostitute. Of course he says he just thought the girl needed help and pulled over to see what she needed. Then I found out he had let our finances go to ruin (my mistake again for leaving him in complete control). Then, I found him in all kinds of lies big and small. He is on antidepressants now and getting therapy. Just caught him in a relapse of lying (about smoking cigarettes). I have done some research on cl now and see that it is related to other disorders. I'm pretty sure my husband is bipolar. I'm wondering if he will ever recover from this dramatic experience he went through and be able to live a somewhat healthy life. I also worry if my children are in danger. I have 2 children 7 and 3. I'm wondering if there is any community support out there for victims of cl and their families. Does anyone know? My husband never gets abusive or physical. He mostly gets very defensive.

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written by My Daughter is a Lying so called Christian , 29 April, 2009

My daughter is just 15 and her lies are big ones - to hurt innocent people! On the surface you would think she was the perfect daughter, honor student, goes to church, etc. but under the surface, she is a lying manipulator. She has told her friends that she is ABUSED (nothing further from the truth - she's a spoiled brat, has always gotten and done anything she wanted) and about a year ago said that my new husband molested her (she wanted me all to herself). She recanted... then recently did it AGAIN! She lies about stupid things that can be found out, she lies so much I don't know how she keeps them straight. Yet, she goes to church and calls herself a CHRISTIAN! This is enough to make anyone hate Christians!

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written by Complusive Liar who wants to grow up!! , 29 April, 2009

I am a compulsive liar and I am 19 years old going to be 20 on Monday. I lie a lot about a lot of things and now have realized this. I realize I have lied about everything for such a long time that I am not sure what is me and what is lies it is an extremely scary experience and for anyone out there who is dealing with a relation or a loved one who they think is a liar please be aware that they are going to be so terrified by this revelation that they will not know what to do. You must be supportive and be with them through this. Know that no matter what they say they love you deeply and need you always. I keep on being told that this is part of growing up and I have finally discovered that ones actions have consequences, I have always known that actions have consequences and so have never really done many actions so I could avoid the consequences but when I have had to do things and have done them badly I have always made excuses or told small white lies to cover them up. It is only in the past 3yrs when I have started to tell really big lies that things have got even more on top of me and have caused big problems and hurt people around me- this is going to change!

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written by Liz001 , 30 April, 2009

I have just finished a 3 yr relationship with a liar. The last straw was that he wants to tell me the truth about everything...one more time. I really do not want to hear this new truth. He has said so many times "the truth" just to change it later, and come up with a different "the truth". And it si very, very painful. At this point, I know he lies to get what he wants, and then will come out with "the truth" once he wants to do something else...like seeing someone else.
I am tired, angry, frustrated, and after trying for 3 years with everything that's been said here, including "If I don't help him who will?" I am ready to tell everyone I did my best to help, but he does not want to change, he lies to his counselor too...I do not love him anymore, I only have fear in my heart, fear because I know that whatever he says is not completely true, and when I know the new truth I just get hurt. I will never know who he is, what moves him, how to make him happy. CLs out there. THINK! How can the person that loves you really love you if you do not tell them who you really are and what you really want.
Take it from someone that cannot take one more "the truth" anymore, IT IS DEVASTATING to the person that loves you.
Hope this helps others.

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written by Patti Smith , 05 May, 2009

Dear "I believe my daughter is a compulsive liar": I grew up with a sister that lied and stole all through childhood. My father used to set her up by planting a $10 bill hanging out of my mom's purse, and sure enough my sister would take the bait every time. But she was the baby of the family, and my mom always defended her and still does to this day. So my sister is now a 53-year-old compulsive/pathological liar and my mom is her enabler. She has caused many problems for me, my husband and two kids by telling them something and then later - when confronted - twisting the story and making them look like a liar. I am finding out that she and my mom actually operate as a team and lie for each other. My father passed away about 6 months ago and my sister has now gained total control over my mom and her estate. She has gotten my mom to put her name to all of her bank accounts as joint owner. She has gotten my mom to give her $20k to make a down payment on a house for herself. I believe she will get all of my mom's estate, even though our father had set up a trust for the family with equal shares for each of their children. My mom is already convinced that my sister is the only one that cares about her. My sister has done everything in her power to make my mom believe that. So being a manipulative, compulsive liar just gets worse with time...they just get better at it. If you care about your daughter and your relationship, get her to a psychiatrist that can maybe break the cycle of lies and deception now instead of letting it go on throughout her entire life. Letting it continue can only bring her (and you) nothing but pain and suffering.

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written by ejcpromo , 01 June, 2009

Hello,

I hit bottom very recently. I have been a compulsive liar for over twenty years and I finally hit bottom and realized I simply cannot do this anymore. Like many who bottomed out it was due to the loss of a love. My lies caught up to me. I am desperately seeking ANY treatment, but like many with this disease, I ruined myself financially and dont have the means to get proper help. I have found two inpatient programs and they are trying to find funding for me. I have no idea why they would try so hard to help someone like me but they are and I am very committed.

I came on here to see if there was any real hope of getting this into a recovery stage. For some unknown reason the woman whose heart I devastated with my lies is still hanging in there, from a distance. She has done one of the most selfless things I have ever had ANYONE do for me and I cant waste that.

I need to hear any stories of hope or recovery.

I have all the classics, no self esteem, things from childhood and a failed adult life. Regardless of all this hear I sit. For any victimized by a compulsive liar please understand that for us if we say we love you and do things for you, those emotions and feelings are NOT lies. They are very real for us and what destroys us is no one typically believes that. And why should they? If I am like the rest it is because we are so down in the hole that when we find love it soothes us in ways that are hard to describe.

Look, I am truly trying now. I see the devastation and wake of bodies (metaphorically speaking) from my actions and I am not willing to live this way anymore. I won't live like this anymore. I want a real life. I want happiness and friendships and meaningful connections. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder chronically. So I really think the first step here is a REAL recognition and commitment to getting treatment. I know I need inpatient. And that is what I am trying to get. Who cares about the stigma with inpatient treatment? What's worse? Being branded a filthy liar or someone who went to a hospital to get help.

All the choices I made in my adult life were mine, and there is not enough paper in this world to write down all the bad things I did. But I want to stop this. And I have to stop this. FOR MYSELF. If in the process that woman sees me and all the friends I have lost take notice than that makes me a successful man.

For any of you in relationships with compulsive liars know they are not deliberately trying to hurt you. They really are not. They love you and are secretly hoping and PRAYING you will find them out and HELP them and stay with them through recovery because I GUARANTEE you no one who is a compulsive liar doesn't have guilt that cannot be counted. They want your love. They need it and hope you will understand when they are found out. And lets face it, we will ALWAYS BE FOUND OUT. I hope I can recover. I hope someone reads this and is helped by it.

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written by TexasJess , 12 June, 2009

I am a compulsive liar. I have lied to get where I am today, I lied to woo my wife into marrying me. The kicker is, I have loved her since I first saw her. Everyday I get to spend with her, I look at her and I find happiness. The only problem is, I have driven her away. She feels like she doesn't know me anymore. And I dont know myself. I have admitted my sickness to myself and the ones that are closest to me. Next step will be getting help. I am going to talk to someone tomorrow, and hopefully his spiritual guidance can help me get past this awful disorder. I do not want this to be the end of me and my wife's relationship. We are both young, we have 2 children and so much more life ahead of us. I know there is hope out there, and God willing I can find out who I am.

I like what the above poster said, about how when "us" the CL's tell our loved ones that we "love you" we are not lieing about that. And the only comfort we find is the love that you once gave us.

I urge all those that have a loved one, that is a CL to just look to God for guidance. There was something in that person that you once loved. And from most of the stories I am reading, the person with the disorder is usually a great person 99% of the time. Its that other 1% that he/she needs help to overcome.

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written by CL in Washington , 20 June, 2009

This forum is a godsend. I recently was "found out" as a liar and the relief, remorse, regret it feel is overwhelming. I am amazed that my spouse has chosen to stay with me. I have almost ruined us financially with my lies and habits. Now I know I am not alone and there might be hope to stop doing what I do. It has been over 20 years where I gradually increased my lies to the point where I cannot even tell the truth to myself sometimes. This my first step in admitting I have a problem and I guess the next step will be to get counseling for my illness.

Thank you all for sharing your hearts and experience!

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written by confused... , 07 July, 2009

Myself and my friends have been the victims of a pathological liar. I've known for a long time that she was playing games with us but still held onto the hope that the lies would stop or go away, but they have kept getting worse. She has invented characters and experiences to the point of ridiculousness. We are close to confronting her and we are so grateful for the comments and guidance I have read here. I would love to understand this on a higher level but also need to acknowledge that in reading all of this, there is really no fundamental reason for it. Thanks to the offenders and other victims for sharing your stories.

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written by Picking myself up , 09 July, 2009

Its weird isn't it how your life can be so affected by the lies? Well i have currently hurt some one i deeply love with a lie trying to cover a past that i was really rather embarrassed about. I didn't lie once but 4 times and i am so ashamed. There is no excuse for lying this much is true but understand that it also takes a lot of courage to step up.In the midst of of all my lying he finally told me that if i just stopped lying and tell the truth that he would stay with me. He is passionate that way. Anyway i couldn't help it and yes i broke down and the truth rolled off my tongue,it was bitter to hear those things slip off my own tongue and i could only imagine what it was like for him and so heart wrenching to realize what i had done. But here is the thing even though it was so difficult finally just to come out and say the truth it felt amazing to know he now knows the entire truth and though now the truth he wanted has been revealed i think he questions what i say now...i don't blame him. We have been together for 4 months now.I am twenty. He is twenty two. So now for the point of this story a direction for both ends the liars and the lied to. First the liars. I realize that it is painfully difficult to admit to something you are so embarrassed about, but the likely hood of your partner looking at you differently so long as its the truth their opinion of you wont likely change, They may become irratable at the answer given but they will usually find away to make it work. However as many of us are probably not as fortunate as i am those who lied like i did often get left behind because the truth could have been revealed to them at the first moment maybe even a second, but for them to find out with out it coming from our mouths is the worst possible thing you can do. It demolishes the foundation of trust and at the same moment creates hard ache when it could have been avoided and knowing this you may end alone but default of the lie not the consequence of the truthful story. Now for those who have been lied to and or are living with a liar. I am one who lied but i have also been in a previous relationship with a liar as well so my end of these stories go both ways. I know how it feels and simply its painful,(yet i still did it to my bf)but understand that people have past issues that they may not want to discus as to save them from embarrassment, no body likes to admit to their wrong doing or mistakes(and yes we are usually aware they are mistakes)so to actually build up the courage and tell you is likely a very large step in itself, often it takes a few rounds and the truth comes out so be patient with them and try not to blow it out of context or you may never hear the truth again.Give the chance for an explanation of the lie. (often it will try to be covered with an odd ball story) but if they seem legit and they seem more then broken down perhaps its true.(remember nobody can cry on Que)when they do tell you the truth upon their own will remember that its taken a lot of courage and strength to tell you these things so be irritated but don't leave them they are trying to work it through because they both recognize what the have done and they are willing to make the relationship work on truth, the truth you need to know.It takes a lot of work to get past the lie(s) but remember if you care or love these people the way you believed you did or still do then working through it will pay off. Confronting the people you lied to with the truth to will pay off as well. and if it doesn't work for any couple but the liar is sincere remember that you may come into another relationship and starting fresh is the best way to go. Tell them the first time they ask to avoid another heart break of the possible previous relationship. God bless.

+Picking+Myself+UP

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written by valerie michael , 27 August, 2009

I have been affected by a liar. My boyfriend has a child with a compulsive liar that won't admit the truth. She has told horrible lies about me and my boyfriend. The bad part is I believe she has a mental problem so I continue to let her into my life. My boyfriend is scared to death to talk to her,afraid she will tell yet another lie. I have to arrange all visitation, money, and health issues. The final straw for my boyfriend came when she had him arrested for communicating threats over the phone. I was sitting right there when he was talking to her and know that he never said the things she claimed he did. They were ordered by the court to go to mediation. I thought my prayers were finally answered. I was wrong,the mediator would not discuss her lies only custody. She now calls me on a daily basis talking for up to 2 hours about things I know aren't true,Mostly being attacked by strangers.So far this year she has been attacked 4 times.I'm scared for the child she hears the lies and I don't want her to grow up thinking lying is o.k. but I keep feeding into it giving sympathy because I don't know how to confront her and tell her I know she's a liar.She lies about things that don't even matter just today she called me saying her stepdad wants sex to let her stay in his house. It's not only sexual lies I can't even count the things she calls me up to tell me that are ridiculous. I feel like she sits back in her liars den thinking she has me fooled and that kills me.Last Christmas she called with a lie as to why we couldn't see the little girl and she went through the roof when I confronted her,we didn't see the child for 6 months.We never wanted to be the kind of people that couldn't work out visitation amongst ourselves but I can't take the lies anymore and I know when I call her on it we have to be ready to shell out big money to fight.Please if anybody knows the best way to go about the confrontation in a situation like this let me know thanks

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written by Georgie , 16 November, 2009

I've been aware that i lie since a young age and know the reason behind it is feeling ashamed of who i am, and have learnt that lying allows me to do what i want and not have to deal with the consequences. I wasn't allowed to do what i wanted as a child when i was at home. There were very strict rules. I was expected to do well and struggled with my school work. When i felt stupid, i'd play up and cause trouble. I'd blame someone else or lie about my actions. I'm adventurous now, probably due to being so sheltered and overprotected by my mother due to her fear and worry about my fathers actions, and want to live life to the fullest without hurting anyone, including myself so i create lies to cover any mistakes i make along the way. I grew up in a middle class family and used to have problems with rage and lies as a child. I used to bully smaller children, i have no idea why, except for a memory of feeling foolish beforehand. I then used to lie to the teachers and my parents to cover up my shameful actions. They always seemed worse afterward and i'd be truly sorry, and afraid of facing my wrong-doings. I felt segregated and different to everyone else who seemed to have no problems with abiding by the rules and making friends. I felt left out. I've never felt comfortable in situations where i don't know people and have always found it difficult to socialize. That used to annoy my father, he wanted to show his daughter off. I'd be expected to be polite and have good manners at all times, so i was scared to be myself. I still am. If i lie, i take on a different persona, i can be who i want to be, not a creation of his constant high expectations.

This has always affected my relationships. With my friends, (mostly ex-friends now due to my deceit,) I have almost lost my partner whom i love beyond belief. She made me realize i had a problem in the first place. Whenever i felt backed into a corner, knowing if i told the truth i may be punished, feel the shame and have to face the consequences of my actions, i'd do everything i could to twist it and defend my lie. This added to my rage. The more my defenses didn't work, the more exposed i felt. That made me insecure and angry. I put my anger on her and did some very shameful things. I made her feel like everything was a reflection on her. Like she'd caused this reaction in me. Which perhaps sometimes she did and she had every right to. Advice to people in relationships who can't be honest, imagine the situation the other way around. Put yourself into their shoes. Imagine life with an angry insecure liar and decide whether you would put up with it. Then find out what created those traits. Which feelings came beforehand and during the action or lie. I left the relationship and went to live with my mum. I left because of jealousy, anguish and a feeling of self-hate and insignificance. I didn't believe she could love me because why would anyone love such a hateful person. Now i'm working on forgiving myself for my lies. I would advise any compulsive liar to reflect on the way it is affecting their partners.

Becky is amazing and has a gift of insight and understanding. I felt like she didn't meet my needs but my needs were impossible to meet. I had resigned to being a liar and was making no effort to change. I blamed her for the constant arguments and started to believe she liked pushing me into a corner and watching me squirm. I made myself believe that she was controlling me. In actual fact, it was the emotions involved that controlled my actions. The guilt, fear and shame. She just made me feel them because she wanted me to be honest and that made me have to admit to lies, triggering those emotions. It was easy to blame her then forget the truth, and lie again.

I hurt her over and over, so advice for liars, heal yourself before putting your hurt onto others. You'll only push them away. Give your partner the choice of helping you to work through it or being apart. They'll have a lot of healing to do as well.
Becky is givng me time and re-assuring me she'll always love me, but we're not in a relationship. We were together for two and a half years, none of which was easy. If we get back together i want to treat her well and be open and honest, but i have a lot further to go yet. I'm trying to practice not lying and when i slip up, facing it by admission as soon as i realize.

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written by ayu , 08 December, 2009

This forum is great.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months and we are in a ldr now. Recently, he lied to me about having another girlfriend and then after that confessed that its a lie and he is only trying to see if I care and he feels remorseful about his lie. Well I raised hell after that first lie and said some hurtful stuff to him because his dad threw him out of the house due to his lying nature and so my words made him mad. But soon after he admitted it was a lie, we made up. Within the next week, he lied again and told me he slept with a stranger. Then after that shortly admitted it was another lie to test my reaction and to see if I care. I am starting to have fears because I am not sure when will the next lie come or if all these are really lies. I told him I lost trust in him and he has to rebuild it. He is willing to listen and change. I have spoken to his sister and she said he isn't trustworthy and I should leave him. I really love him alot and if nobodys helping him to get through this, I believe he will always keep being alone and hating himself.

My friends are telling me to ditch him but I just cant bring myself to do it. Now the problem is I dont know if he is lying about being single. We are in a LDR and its hard for me to figure out whats happening over at his side. So trust is really important for us.

Im praying to god everyday to help me get through this and that he will see that he needs to stop lying. My advice to myself is I am not the only one facing liars so if my heart says I need to move on with him, I will have to. And I have no idea where this strength is coming from to be honest. Its weird. Help them is my word to all.

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written by becca16 , 28 December, 2009

How do I get my husband to see how his lying is ruining our marriage and destroying our daughter?

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written by slth , 14 February, 2010

For those living with compulsive liars - I have been married to a CL for 25 years. His lying began even when we dated - I should've gotten out then, but I was insecure and thought things would "get better". The only thing that got better where my husband's lies. He has now put us in a bind financially and has my daughters lying to me as well. When I confronted him about these finance issues he said he is scared to talk to me about finances...and I am too controlling..but when I invite him to help with the bookkeeping he never has time. He gets verbally abusive and has physically abused me, but like every victim, I always blamed myself. I now know better and am willing to deal with whatever consequence. He has made an appt. for therapy, but my concern is he will only go once and think this problem is solved. He says he wants to change and I need to give him a chance, but how long do I stay? I realize this is somewhat similar to being an addict. I need support and guidance as well.

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written by CT CL , 18 February, 2010

to slth-youve stayed long enough-these types of people do not have the capacity to change..at some point we have to have some self respect and move on-were victims and deserve better

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written by slc , 28 February, 2010

I am a liar. I have been for some time now. Probably since childhood. I once actually sought professional help, but could not afford to continue. In my examination, it was brought to my attention, that all of the things I lie about are due to past occurrences. That in order to protect myself and understand the situation at a young age was to project an alternate reality. Most of these things were abuse related.
I have been for over a year now, very good at continuing to tell the truth - except for recently. And I was caught, red handed. I didn't get abusive verbally nor violent, but I didn't claim the truth until ultimatum was handed to me. I thought, for once I was protecting the person/people I loved with this lie. But in fact, I was not. I thought I had finally turned a new leaf - but yet, I went and did it again. I want so badly to not lie to people. But at the same time - I do not want to share some of the real things that have happened to me, as I am afraid of being judged, or looked at differently. I want to go back to treatment - but I cannot afford it. Is anyone aware of a place where I could get counseling at an affordable rate? I feel so bad - and my mind cannot get over the guilt and hurt I have caused another. I want to be better, and be a better person. I don't want to lie to people anymore. I just want to be a good person, that people can trust.

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written by Topher , 13 March, 2010

I am an alcoholic and a compulsive liar. In my recovery to both I have found a profound similarity to both actions. The reasons we drink and lie are almost identical. I am not a "cured case" of either and will never be. Once an alcoholic always one, same thing with a liar. My difference and success so far is two things. First, I have found faith. Those of you who do not share my view thats ok (this is what has been working for me). I believe in God and have buried myself in literature and my Church. Second, I have lost a relationship that I value with all my heart. I want nothing more than to earn her trust back. That door is closed for now but who knows. These are what is working for me. The best I can define how to get over either of these two habits is love and purpose. You have to have both!

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written by j_wills , 31 May, 2010

My neighbor lies 99% of the time. Worse yet, he'll repeat lies many times that was already exposed as lies. The part of the brain that should normally function doesn't seem to exist in this guy - the part which should know better than repeat a lie that was ALREADY exposed as a lie, but this guy does it ANYWAY and chronically!

So, I know from experience you can't get these people to stop - if you bother to try, you'll end up chasing after them and their lies forever.

Since this is the case, you either to leave the person or tolerate it as best as you can.

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written by desperate , 16 June, 2010

hello everyone.

my name is cece. i recently met a guy who was charming and everything in him was perfect. we're both in different colleges.we became friends from day one and spoke everyday. he told me after 2 weeks he liked me so i said we should get to know each other more. his ex girl friend of about 8 or 9 months left him for another guy so i didnt want to rush, i wanted him to be sure of his emotions. we waited for a bit and i finally said yes. I'm dumb because signs were there of him being a liar!

im not sure whether hes a pathological liar or a compulsive liar. He brags about his house and car and what car he'll get next and everything like this. he'll get rude a few times to make himself look good. i caught him in lies like where he didnt travel, what he doesnt have and stuff like this. funny thing is i always though he was just trying to impress me so id tell him im not easily impressed by material things.

we dated for a month until ive had it. he DID admit once to me that he lies and said"so what! i lie, you lie ,we all lie" . now i realize that he MIGHT have been asking for help. im not sure. i want to be his friend and confront him but im scared to and i dont want problems.

when hes not lying to me (and we're around friends), he charming and funny and great to be around.i just want that guy to come back.

DOES ANYONE KNOW A GOOD WAY TO APPROACH A PATHOLOGICAL OR COMPULSIVE LIAR?