Why Women CheatBoth men and women cheat for a variety of reasons – due to problems in their relationship, due to their need for intimacy, or because they have a high sex drive – just to name a few (see, why people cheat). But, when focusing on sex differences alone - differences based on biology - men and women cheat in different ways. Men are more likely to cheat opportunistically. That is, more often and with someone who may be less attractive or desirable than their current partner (see, why men cheat). Women, by comparison, tend to cheat more selectively. Women tend to be more flirtatious, risk-taking, and act in sexually provocative ways when they are ovulating (see, Thornhill and Gangestad, 2008). Women are also attracted to more masculine and physically attractive men when ovulating (see, Thornhill and Gangestad, 2008). The explanation for this behavior is called the sexy son hypothesis (see, article on Wikipedia). The argument goes like this: because women are more limited in their ability to reproduce (see, why men cheat), women who acted in ways that increased their reproductive success - like mating with the best men available when ovulating – were more likely to have healthy and attractive children. Possessing this trait or tendency would have led to a reproductive advantage, which would have become widespread over the course of human evolution. In short, men and women are different. Women are more likely to cheat up while men are more likely to cheat around. But it also helps to keep in mind, that while there may be sex differences when it comes to cheating – men and women are more alike than they are different. Both sexes cheat for a variety of reasons. For more information on cheating and infidelity, we have put together the following resources:
Truth About Deception - back to our homepage. Comments
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written by ukpm , 28 November, 2011
Most men can accept the truth, as that's why most tell their wives they have cheated and have made a error and want to mend there relationship as they know their true life partner is their wife. Why can't women tell the truth? Because it's over with, the end is near and they're looking for Mr rich again.
Votes: +9
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written by Ice , 11 December, 2011
i cheated on my boyfriends but never cheated on my husband. My boyfriends are wild and seem to me to be the type to cheat. I refuse to put my eggs in one basket. Men are more likely to do it. I am very good looking, sexy, and I have a good job. I am very intelligent also. My boyfriends cheat with low level hood creatures. Why? I am easygoing and pretty much what most men want. I become bored with men because if they only think with their man parts I want one who doesn't. The search continues....
Votes: -11
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written by E. Walker , 21 December, 2011
I cheated on my boyfriend but he wants us to stay together but how do I deal with his STILL not trusting? He's constantly bringing up the past, makes comments to everything I say, & still insists on reminding me of what I did wrong...how do I deal? I'm truly ready to let this relationship go because I feel he's never going to let the past stay in the past.
Votes: +4
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written by Caterina V , 30 December, 2011
It is the time and patience that can fix the situation. To destroy the trust it is easy but to rebuild it back it takes a lot. You have to prove to be loyal by being patient and wise. It is a very difficult task as much as difficult as rebuilding the house after the fire. Therefore you must also understand what type of man he is. Some of the men they could never forgive due to their ego or other issues even though they try hard. After years that kind of man can revenge you back.
Votes: +5
"what has happened once can be forgiven and never will repeated again but what has happened twice will defiantly repeats again and again" Therefore to prove your loyalty to your partner you must think about properly before starting to rebuild your new relationships. When you both achieve to be loyal to each other it will be strong relationships and you are both will love each other more hence you have being through very difficult test. Good luck and a Happy New Year to you all -x- report abuse
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written by Bmaxi , 05 January, 2012
Recently on a nite out with friends I kissed an old friend. I am engaged to my partner and have been in a relationship with him for 8 yrs. The friend that I kissed is married and he made the first move. I'm wrecked with guilt about this and don't know whether to tell my partner or not. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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written by balises , 13 January, 2012
@Bmaxi
Votes: +4
I too have cheated on my husband. What's strange is he is wonderful and we have a great relationship both sexually and emotionally. The man I cheated with meant nothing, purely physical. I debated on telling my husband, being honest (which I totally agree with btw, in just about all cases. This being one, where I don't think honesty is the best policy). Reason being, not because I don't think I should be honest, not because I don't think I deserve to suffer the humiliation of knowing what I did to him, how I betrayed him, because I totally do. If I am truly honest with myself, I have to admit that I would only be telling him to relieve my self of the guilt. So we can either work it out or move on. Is it really fair to him? Why should I break his heart, why should I make him suffer the humiliation of everyone knowing, and him feeling that he was made a fool of. I don't think I should. You know that old saying "What he doesn't know, won't hurt him" is actually true, in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning what I did, it was truly horrible, selfish, disrespectful, and I am the biggest coward. I do truly feel guilty, and I am truly sorry for what I have done. The punishment I will suffer is always knowing what I did. But I will never ever tell him, because I will not break his heart. Sorry for the long post, also this is just my opinion, you have to do what you feel is right for your relationship. You mentioned that you kissed an old friend. Cheating is cheating, I under stand this, however kissing someone vs. having sex with someone, I feel that kissing is not as serious, certainly not worth risking an 8 year relationship just to make yourself feel better. At least you realize that you made a mistake, and I think that people that realize the error of their ways, usually feel guilty enough to not do it again. Again, just my opinion. Good Luck to you. report abuse
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written by feelLost , 30 January, 2012
I made the biggest mistake of my life. I am so torn with guilt. I feel like it is a true skeleton in the closet. Although we weren't married, and were just dating I still know its wrong and I don't know what to do. Whats worse is that it happened a long time ago but still kills me. We were dating 4 months and I had a trip to take for a friends wedding and he didn't come with me which I was a little thrown off/upset about. Our communication skills back then weren't strong and we had a stupid argument over text and he wouldn't answer the phone after. I was angry and decided to go out. Too many disgusting drinks and I ended up doing something I barely remember (cheat). The next day I had such an anxiety attack I almost couldn't board the plane. I cried for days and months. My friends advised me not to say anything since it was clearly a mistake and would just harm the relationship. I feel I was a coward for not telling him but I knew I would lose him because we were still new. Now, 2 yrs later we are in a good place. And I have really changed- not like I was a cheating fool, but I had a lot to work on for myself- self confidence, esteem, and self control. I try to better myself each day and be kind to all people around me. However this secret still upsets me. The bad part is how a few friends know, I get nervous it will come out. And if I tell him do I say people knew? he will feel betrayed by them too. I just don;t want to cause him pain- @ all... or lose trust- because I know I would Never again. I just don't know if he ends up proposing if I should tell him before we move forward. or leave it alone. ....this is long, and I truly appreciate any responses...! Thank you.
Votes: -1
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written by :( , 06 February, 2012
I cheated on my bf before right after i got into a relationship with him ... The guy i cheated with was a friend of mine from school . We got close and hung out for a few mths resulting in us sleeping together . My bf found out few mths later. He forgave me after and i promised him that i wasn't gonna hurt him like that anymore . My bf's job requires him to travel a lot and we are in a long distance relationship... but we both make the effort to communicate daily and he flies back here to see me whenever he gets the chance to ... and he is a great guy and i wanted to be with him always... but two months ago, after being together for a year and it has been a year since the first cheating happened ... we moved on from it like it never happened before ... He was away at work ... and i told him i was gonna wait till he return and from there we will finally decide how we can be together in one place . I went out one night and bumped into one of my ex flings i had before i got with my bf ... and things got out of hand . I cheated on him again ... and i couldn't bring myself to tell him afraid of losing him ... and thinking that i will not get caught and just let it pass ... Being very selfish of me to do so ... When he came back 2 months ago ... He found out about it thru an conversation i had with a friend ... He got really heartbroken ... I didn't know what to say or do as i knew i screwed up again ... He said he still loves me a lot till now ... We are still very close though we are not together due to trust issues ... I really want to change myself for me and for him ... I am not sure if he will ever risk his heart with me again ... but i still love him a lot and i can never meet someone like him ....
Votes: -3
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written by TrustToRebuild , 07 February, 2012
The trust issue is not that simple to fix (as you know already). What you need to do is to see how exactly does it happen that you have cheated twice... the old friend, being out... those should become an alert for you. Your friends needs something more then the words now. He needs to see how exactly will be be able to prevent such thing from happening in the future.
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written by 101er , 20 February, 2012
@ feelLost
Votes: +0
I can imagine the what-if outcomes a situation like this might impose on a person's mind. Revealing a secret you're not proud of is no easy task. It's even more difficult when trying to do the right thing may lead to an outcome you may not want or fear. Concealing something that you feel extremely guilty about will most likely begin to manifest itself into the environment creating conflict between yourself and your partner. The greastest act of love is a selfless act. Whether or not that love is reciprocated is not up to you, nor within your control. The right path can be hard to find once a person deviates from that path. The guilt and fear will be lifted from your shoulders if you choose to be honest. Or you could run the risk of hurting them much more severely if the truth happened to come upon your partner from a third party. A bad secret can eat you alive if you continue to avoid it. It can effect your emotion well-being, work, social relationships...pretty much your entire life. Unless you're a cold hearted individual, but judging by your post, that's not the case. Remaining dishonest with the one(s) you love will follow you to the grave. The truth will set you free. report abuse
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