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My boyfriend constantly lies about using pornography
I am a very attractive woman and I have a great sex life with my boyfriend. I know that he is very much in love with me.

But, in the past month, he has racked up $140 in porn rentals. And he spends most of his free time looking at porn on the internet. I’ve told him that the porn and dating sites really hurt my feelings.

This will be the 6th time he lied to be about stopping.

I don’t know if I should trust him?

If he loves me why does he lie to me so much?

Response:

People often lie the most to those they love simply because there is more at stake.  In a close relationship there can be a lot to lose by telling the truth (see, why lovers lie).

And partners are more likely to lie when their actions cause harm or disappointment (see, when lovers lie).

It is also common for men, in particular, to lie about viewing pornography (see, what lovers lie about).

But, if his pornography is a problem which keeps emerging and it impacts your relationships, net addiction, offers a lot of practical advice for dealing with the issue.

Hope everything works out for the best.
Comments (6)add
ms. know-it-all
written by Julio Gonzales , December 04, 2006
I am twenty four years of age and my girlfriend is twenty eight. She always says that because she is 28 and I am 24 that we see things differently. But at the same time she will call me out on something I did but when I catch her in the act she automatically looks at me what she does is okay... My biggest pet peeve about her is that she always tells her friends about all the arguments that we have gotten into, and thinks it is ok. But when I talk to mom about my problems and I always tell both sides of the story, she right off the bat catches an attitude.
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...
written by beyza , February 01, 2007
I would rather have boyfriend who was into porn then a sleazy boyfriend who was out every night with his pals visiting strip joints! Why not join him? What is so wrong with him watching something he cannot touch, feel or smell? It's harmless.. the fact that you are angry makes it even more dirty for him, hence his lies. Its not the women in the porn, it is what they are doing in the porn. Sex is dirty, fun, naughty and thrilling - its exciting... I think you should just watch it with him, have sex during, laugh then turn it off. After the intimacy he is still in your bed and you are in his arms... why create the scenes or make your own porn... that way you get to watch it but please ensure it does not get into wrong hands and no copies are made.... The rest enjoy it life is tooooooooooo short to be upset over such things. Trust me, try it you will understand him a lot better if you show interest in it yourself.
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my husband watched porn
written by kjp , February 15, 2007
Last year my husband was watching porn behind my back it hurt me cause for all this time he acted like he didn't watch it... .racked up his credit card to like $350 on it I never knew till we moved in together and I found it in the move . I don't understand why he had to watch it, if I did anything he wanted? Now I feel like this whole time he lied about it what else has he lied about and I feel like I don't know him. Now I don't know what to do.
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my boyfriend did the same thing
written by dfg , February 26, 2007
I feel the exact same thing as you "kjp". My boyfriend told me he never looked at it and had no interest in it. Then I found out he started looking at it behind my back on the internet when we got it. Now I don't know what to think and it makes me question who he is and how many other lies there are. I cant explain why I dislike pornography so much, other than I feel it is morally wrong and that sex should be between two people who love each other. I've read a few reasons why women tolerate it and I cant begin to understand.
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Tired of the Porn
written by nmk , March 06, 2007
I also do not understand it. I've been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years. I'm only 23 and he's 24, I'm am a very attractive young woman who loves to be intimate with him. I've know that he looks at porn from time to time but lately I feel it getting worse. He is constantly looking online and deleting the history, I find it on our cable bills; last night I even caught him masturbating to a playboy. I'm always there to satisfy him even if I'm not in the mood and never turn him down. Why does he turn to these things? Porn does not belong in our home and I feel so insecure that he views it. I feel like this is the beginning soon he will think these extreme sexual behaviors are normal and will demand that in our sex life. I also feel like when porn isn't enough, he will turn to someone else. I've asked him to stop and he says he will but of course never does. I don't go to anything but him to satisfy my needs and feel like he should respect me in the same way. Porn is cheating no matter what, emotionally and physically.
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i understand you
written by romaisa , March 22, 2007
A man using porn has no ability to commit to a normal relationship. I have experience of this and I hate how this has made me feel. I do not feel I can ever have a relationship with him ever again.
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