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I find this website offensive
I knew up front this site was questionable since you don't cite any names with expensive letters after them, so it would seem these are merely your personal opinions. You claim to be "scholars, scientists, and working professions" but do not disclose who you are. Why is that? Probably because you all are actually a bunch of nobody's.

To have a category "Pros and Cons of Lying" is very offensive to those of us who value honesty. Only a sick mind would ever consider that lying is any good, ever, and causes misery and pain when the truth comes out inevitably.

You give yourselves away by having ads by "ashleymadison.com" and the like. You conveniently do not have a category "pathological liars" which seems to be more what the writers here are.

And to have a link that is a "how-to" to lie indicates further that this site is nothing more than a sham by a bunch of little boys who got caught cheating at something or everything and don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

Response:

Good question. To some extent, we do try to conceal our identities on this website.

Why?

Because we have no credentials as you suggest? Not really. All of the information provided is written by people who hold PhDs in the social sciences.

But, we do try to remain somewhat anonymous because of the controversial nature of the topic – cheating, love and romance. People get very emotional about this topic and in some cases people have a difficult time separating “the message” from “the messenger.” Some people, when they encounter ideas that make them uncomfortable or ideas with which they personally disagree – rather than discuss or argue their point of view - they attack the messenger on a personal level. Your e-mail is a good example of this. Over the years, we have been harassed by people who dislike some of the ideas we express. Our goal is NOT to make people happy OR to tell people what they want to hear. Our goal is to present a balanced point of view when it comes to deception, love and romance – including points of view that we too find personally offensive. Concealing our identities gives us the freedom to be more candid.

And we wonder why anyone would want to read a website which conformed exactly to their point of view? To begin with, who could produce such a website? A website that pleased everyone? And if you could create such a site, by definition, it would contain no new information. Reading it would be a poor use of time (assuming that people read to gain information). Ideas are important and need to be shared, including ideas which people dislike. The exchange of ideas is what makes life so vibrant and interesting. And sharing ideas, however unpopular, also creates the opportunity for reflection and change.

Moreover, you say that you value honesty. Like most people, we value honesty too. Life would be impossible without the truthful exchange of information. But, with that said, life is complicated and deception, as well as honesty, plays an important role in social interaction. And it is possible to value both honesty and deception simultaneously; such values need not be mutually exclusive. To simply state that lying is morally wrong does very little to help people understand the dynamics underlying their behavior. If you are interested in exploring questions about the value of honesty and deception in social life, we suggest three excellent sources, which make great arguments for both points of view: Bok, Solomon, and Saxe (listed in our references).

With respect to the issue of advertising, yes, we have ads on our site. But, we don't select the ads which get displayed; that is done by Google through their AdSense program. In an ideal world, we would prefer not to have advertising on our website, but constantly updating and maintaining a site of this size is more expensive than most people might imagine. At first, this site was nothing more than a just a few pages, but it has steadily grown in response to viewers' questions and concerns. Advertising, which we try to keep to a minimum, allows us to constantly up-to-date our site free of charge. Unlike most websites dealing with deception, infidelity, and cheating - we do not charge a subscription fee nor are we trying to sell anything. In fact, after expenses, every dollar earned goes back into promoting our website - we have never earned a profit. And with that said, we still have a difficult time reaching people who are looking for this type of information because other websites spend considerable amounts of money marketing their products and services. 

And, the people who place ads on our site represent a diverse range of interests. Some advertisers are trying to help people cheat, some are trying to help people detect deception, some are trying to help people get a divorce, and some are even trying to help people save their marriage. On occasion, viewers to our website find the information they were looking for through an advertisement. When this happens, everyone wins.

Finally, we do have a section on pathological lying. We refer to it as compulsive lying.

All the best,

Truth About Deception

If you find our website useful and informative, please help support us by telling a friend.
Comments (5)add
Thank You!
written by Guest , March 27, 2006
Your website is GREAT! So much information and so well organized. Way to go!
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Thanks
written by Guest , August 12, 2006
When I found your website I was elated. I had been trying to figure out how to get my boyfriend of almost 3 years to stop lying to me. Most of the information you have here is great and I thank you for putting this on the web. However, I do have negative feedback about the "How to Lie" link. Most people tend to rationalize lying, but the bottom line is that it's wrong. Truth should always stand against lies. It's not a moral relative (i.e. what's right for you may not be right for me.) I think it's reckless to place this type of information on your site in an effort to be "balanced." I hope you'll reconsider your position. Thanks again for creating such a great and useful website!
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HR
written by KT , April 12, 2007
Funny we should question the validity of right and wrong...even more, it is funny no one mentions "consequences." You see, when you lack integrity and lie to a spouse loved one or even your boss, it doesn't come without consequences unless of course you achieve the reality of what you innately become which is liar without care or concern of being caught and facing consequences! Moreover, it is funny you should reference children in your opinions of deception. You see, children do lie much so as they do get into trouble and learn through the mistakes they make. That is the key here, they learn through their "mistakes" (i.e., lies are wrong) and ultimately pay consequences for those mistakes. As mistakes are made, they are disciplined. Hopefully our mentoring of them will make them into better individuals overall...honesty, ask yourself why we would have laws??? There is something to be said about the phrase "honesty is the best policy"...it's to avoid negative consequences. In your example, a spouse lies to her husband about not calling him. She is said to be having a good time and therefore decides not to call. When questioned about this, she lies and says she was busy and/or couldn't make the call. Is it so hard to believe that the husband in this case wouldn't be receptive and understanding and the consequence of her truthfulness are good? Perhaps this is not the case if her actions of lying occurred on a regular basis. The question that should be asked is ??who is best served?? ...just a thought.
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written by Lotus , July 09, 2007
I recently posted some articles from this website to another forum and made sure that I included the link to this website so the readers could know where I got it. I was told that the writers of these articles contacted the forum and objected to the articles being posted. First of all, I thought by adding the link to the end of the articles I was acknowledging the source and therefore not violating any copyright laws. I am a published author and I understand what it means to have your work taken. I tried looking for contact information and author names and none were listed on the home page. If you object to having your material reposted, please provide a name and email address so that we can go through the proper channels.

Thank you,

Lotus
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written by moderator , July 16, 2007
Dear Lotus,

Sorry about the problem you encountered. We do not mind if people take sections of our articles and post them on other sites - as long as a link and citation are included. The only problem we sometimes encounter is that other websites, then remove the citation and the link - presenting our work as their own.

And if you ever need to contact us - please use the "contact" at "truthaboutdeception.com" address.

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