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I lied to my boyfriend and he wants to move on |
Well here's the thing, I lied to my boyfriend and then made it worse by making excuses. I also made promises to him so that I could earn back his trust in me. But, I lied and broke the promises that I made. I didn't intentionally want to hurt him. I just was trying to protect myself from getting in trouble. I don't always make the right decisions, but I genuinely love him I believe we are meant for each other. And now he wants to move on with someone else.
What should I do?
I thought that maybe even though he says it's too late, I want to go through with the promises I made in the first place. I believe it is never too late to right your wrongs. I don't ever want to be with anyone else but I am afraid that while I am doing what I was supposed to in the first place he will be moving on with some one else.
All I wanted was for him to trust me again, but it was too difficult to keep my promises. Now things are not going my way. In fact, he is out with another female right now. All I can do is think that he would be with me if I had followed through with my promises.
Do you think that if I now keep my promises regardless of his actions it would lead to a positive outcome? Or do you see this as a loss cause? I don't want to lose him and especially not to some one else.
How do you fix a broken glass?
Response:
Good intentions are never enough to make a relationship work. Relationships require trust, understanding, and ability to work through problems as a couple (see, healthy relationships).
And when trying to rebuild trust, it is critical to make practical and reasonable promises – promises that can be kept (see, rebuilding trust). If you can’t keep your promises when trying to earn back someone’s trust, it demonstrates that you can’t keep your word even when it matters the most. And without trust, a relationship cannot survive.
So, perhaps it is best that your ex-boyfriend moves on with his life. You’ve repeatedly betrayed his trust; maybe he is better off without you.
With that said, however, it is never too late to make amends for what you've done wrong. But, apologize because it is the right thing to do, not because you want to win your ex-boyfriend back. Doing the right thing for the wrong reason - focusing on what you want and not what you ex-boyfriend wants - is more manipulative than sincere.
Our advice: Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. Let things between you and your ex-boyfriend unfold on their own. Things will probably not turn out perfect, but treating people with respect is more likely to lead to positive outcomes for everyone involved.
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