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Should I leave my husband after 30 years of marriage |
I have been married for 30 years and we have been together for 35. I know that my husband has cheated in the past, but I wanted to hold my marriage together because of the children. The children are adults now, and I feel that he is still cheating. I have found the smell of perfume on two different shirts and the smell of the same perfume in his car.
My husband denies cheating and he claims that he does not know how the smell of the perfume got on his shirts or in his car. He says that I am a mean-spirited person because I never forget the past.
I am seriously thinking of moving out of the home and filing for legal separation. After all these years and he is still cheating, what's the use? Everyone keeps telling me to make him move. I do love him, but I'm tired of this now.
What should I do?
Response:
No one can (or should) tell you exactly what to do. Thirty-five years is a long time to be together, and every relationship has its ups-and-downs. But with that said, many people have discovered peace and happiness after leaving a long-lasting, but unsatisfying marriage (see, late life divorce).
So, while we can’t tell you exactly what to do, we can provide you with some information that may help you make a more informed decision. (see, relationship worth saving).
Relationships work the best when they are built upon respect, trust, love and understanding (see, healthy relationships).
Healthy, stable relationships create many rewarding outcomes for couples, while unhealthy relationships can leave people feeling lonely, alienated and misunderstood. Relationships, which are full or problems and lacking in trust, take their toll – draining people of their energy, their well-being and their self-esteem.
And many people stay in a bad relationship because they fear the alternative: being alone. But, with a good support system – friends and family – many people find that they are able to create an active and a meaningful social life without a spouse.
Finally, when making such an important decision, it often helps to talk to a counselor to help you work through the real question you have to answer: Do you think you’d be better off with or without your husband?
We wish you all the best.
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Has anyone been through anything like this? How much do you share with the children? Can a 20-yr liar and cheater be believed that he wants desperately to stay married and will never cheat again? He seems remorseful and says that NOW he understands what he did and he did not then. God this is tough. Thanks to all.