Truth About Deception

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written by blank , 27 March, 2008

Well as my story is similar, I found out the Very hard way that my "wonderful" husband of ten years has cheated... by way of STD test results! Although the STD is treatable and I will be fine health wise, it's the cheating part that really gets me. He's of course denied it, and has no idea how he got this STD he's given me. And of course has never been with anyone else?!?!?!?!
The medical facts say that he's a LIAR. However I have never been suspicious of him and our relationship has been really great for the whole marriage. Not by any means perfect but we have tons of fun together and we have a good sex life, we laugh a lot and travel together as frequently as possible.
At this point I really do want to believe that he's being truthful with me but the medical facts say otherwise....
Confused

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written by lost molly , 15 April, 2008

I have been married for 33 yrs and I contracted trich. I was with my mom a lot for health reasons in and out of the hospital. My husband swears he doesn't know how I got it. I just wish he would be honest with me. Everything I have read says sexual contact is the only way to get it. I feel your pain! And I don't know what to do either.

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written by unanamous , 04 July, 2008

My husband had to confess to cheating on me, because he discovered he had Herpes, and decided it would be nice to let me know I had it too. He was cheating on me for 5years of our 7year marriage. He cheated on me with prostitutes. My only indication of infidelity was 2 years ago, I found a girls number in his pocket. He later(after several days) of thinking of a good excuse, told me he had asked her out, but never called. It stinks, we have two kids. It's amazing how selfish people can be.

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written by Hurt and Confused , 08 July, 2008

Wow so many of us. I have been with my husband 7 years and just found out today I have an STD. I am also pregnant. He is trying to say we must have had it for years (a lie, I just had a test 15 months ago with my last pregnancy and it was all neg.) I have never even looked at another man. I am so lost and don't know what to do.

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written by Cha-Cha , 18 July, 2008

Hello Ladies,
I, too, like you have been infected with an STD (trich). I just found out yesterday, and I am so hurt, and feel so stupid, because I relaxed and finally began to trust my boyfriend of 18 months. It hurts so even more, because before I found out about the STD the @#$*** had the nerve to break up with me! I am hurting over here! Now, I need to tell him, and I think that he is going to think that this is only my way of getting to see him. He broke up with me in a text message. I thought he was my friend; on my team. What the heck! I am disappointed more than anything, because he turned out to be a punk and not the man that I thought he was. Big, 6'5" undercover SWAT man. To top it off I found out that he is also married. His wife had been in another state taking care of her ill mother! ! ! I swear I want to expose him, but I am going to leave revenge to fate. I know now that I must not be the only other women, so someone else is sure to get him!
I'm sorry for all of us. Hey, you all be strong. We'll get through this one long day a night at a time. But this too shall pass!!!

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written by Mister Luls , 19 August, 2008

This is what happens when you look for a big hunky money grubbing alpha male. You get a man who can screw whoever he wants and will pass the STDs around.

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written by Mississippi Belle , 03 September, 2008

Well, my story may be the worst. Married for 29 years, just recently diagnosed with the worst strain of HPV there is which causes cervical cancer. Please research this. I didn't know. I have cervical cancer thanks to my loving, cheating husband. I had no idea he was cheating. We have a nice house, he is respected, we have beautiful, accomplished daughters, we HAD the perfect marriage. He has now sentenced me to death. HPV does not lie dormant in the body for 29 years. He picked it up during the last two years. I tested positive for a low grade strain three years ago... the kind that resolves itself. This strain kills you. No one in the world is aware of how dangerous this STD is. I don't understand. What is ironic is that my two adult daughters have always said that "Daddy adores you. We hope our husbands love us as much." Daddy may adore me, but he has handed me a death sentence. When my doctor told me that I was hpv positive and had pre-cancer cells and now cancer cells, I told my husband to get out of my house. He swears he didn't cheat, but science busted him. I would never have known. Now, I'm sure he is hiding his money, but I'll get it. It's just I'm 58 years old and this is going to be tough. No, I will never forgive him or take him back. I can make it on my own. I just wish I had known that he cheated. I would have left a long time ago.

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written by A. , 11 October, 2008

Well, I just got home from the urgent care center where the Doctor is quite certain I have trich. Mind you, I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years and he swears up and down he's never cheated on me. SWEARS UP AND DOWN! Meanwhile, the test results have yet to come back - have to wait a few days for those. The doctor told me not to do anything crazy until I get those back, as things like this can ruin marriages, as he put it. Still, I informed my boyfriend of the events and told him that if he's not guilty, then we have nothing to worry about and the results should come back negative.
Still hard to relax, though.
I specifically asked the doc if it could be contracted any other way or is it just specifically through sex and he said it is only transmittable through sex. And I have ONLY been with my boyfriend. And I was tested BEFORE he and I got together and everything was fine. So, if I get this test back and it comes up as positive - what does that mean?
That he cheated on me?

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written by polyanna , 18 October, 2008

Are there any condoms in these pictures? If you love someone you can still be with them and use condoms with them. If you sneak around on someone then condoms are definitely required. Every encounter without a condom is Russian Roulette with your LIFE. How come this conversation is not coming to the forefront?

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written by crazy with doubts , 10 November, 2008

I am so happy I have found others with the same situation as me; nothing else I have found on the internet mentions this side of it.

I noticed "bumps" on my husband about 2yrs back and thought nothing of it; they have increased in number and have gotten larger; from the pics I have seen I am certain it is GW (HPV). It is almost a year I have asked him to be checked for this; not mentioning what I thought this could be.. I have made an appointment with my doctor to be checked; but if these results are positive, we have been married 14yrs; I find it VERY hard to believe that this can lie dormant for this long.

I have asked him about being with others and has denied it time and time again; what a way to find out the truth!!

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written by FeelingStupid , 12 November, 2008

Well ladies I have you all beat for the biggest dummy award! My husband has given me an STD 3 times! Oh yes 3! The last one I found out about on my birthday. Let me tell you something, if he did it once, no matter what he's telling you, he will do it again so LEAVE NOW! Understand that you have been living a lie so what ever beautiful picture you have in your mind as the "before" he had an affair... get rid of it! That picture NEVER existed! He has been playing you smooth which why you believe it can still work. He will say ANYTHING to keep you around and believe me, the next time you may not be so lucky as to only contract a curable STD. You also have to understand that 9 out of 10 times, this is NOT his first time cheating on you, this is just the first time you found out. I wish you all the best. Your "man" is cheating with loose women (he's loose too) and everyone he sleeps with, you sleep with and everyone the person he's slept with sleeps with, you have both slept with. Gross right?
Jump ship the first time and don't end up like me or that poor women with cancer from contracting HPV.
I'm running for the hills ladies, it's a bumpy ride but I'd rather deal with those bumps than ones on my genitals or hide!

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written by crazy with doubts , 17 November, 2008

I though I would give an update... I finally managed to get my husband to seek medical advice after I mentioned I was.

Ladies..Please..have him seek reliable medical advice..My husband went into an emergency medical clinic; was not given a complete, thorough exam.. and his cauliflower like, skin colored, "bumps"(typical symptoms of GW) were diagnosed as skin tags, and burnt off. He then came home angry saying that no, he did not give me an STD.

I am not a doctor, but I am sure IT IS GW..And he has been misdiagnosed; I still have my own appointment; but meanwhile my proof has run out the door; and of course he still denies it.

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written by WHY DID I GET MARRIED , 27 November, 2008

I'm glad to see that I'm not alone. Back in September, I accused my husband of a co worker because I found a secret cell phone that only had her number in it. And worst of all, I found out that I was pregnant by him in October. My doctors informed me that I had trick. Of course, he denies everything like most married men. I've been with this man for 14 years and never thought that this would happen to us. I can't believed I trusted him this long. I now feel like a fool.

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written by Heather Ann , 20 December, 2008

I'm pregnant with my first baby with my husband of 3 months. We had gotten pregnant before we got married. Just a few days ago I was in the hospital with pre-term labor because the doc said that I have TRICH! My husband has been the only man I have EVER slept with and he has slept with many.
I was tested when I first got pregnant and six months prior to pregnancy and I had no STD. Now, I have one and I'm so scared of giving it to my son during delivery.
I think he's cheated on me because one of his ex-girlfriends wrote me an e-mail saying that he was still in love with her and two letters he wrote her while he was in bootcamp! We were together then, engaged and pregnant, and I love him.
I'm just so darn pissed because he keeps swearing to God (and he doesn't even believe in Him!-I do) that he hasn't cheated on me and that he would tell me if he has because our son is at risk.
I don't know what to do. Help...

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written by Antionette , 14 January, 2009

My husband and I have been together for twelve years and married for the last four. My husband came and confessed to me that he had found out from the doctor that he had herpes. He also had to admit of the infidelity that he committed through out our relationship. After going to the doctor, it was confirmed that he had actually given it to me. I prayed and stuck in my marriage to try to overcome any bad. In the last year I had actually forgiven him for the betrayals and the std that I was stuck with for life. Recently he told me that he needed to let me go so that I could be happy. REALLY!! He had the nerve to leave my child and I because he thought it would be best for us. I'm really hurt right now. confused and disappointed. I mean I hung in there with him through thick and thin and then he pulls this on me. I feel that he is a coward and weak. I know with prayer I will get through it. What thing I do know is, what goes around comes around.

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written by Never Again too Broken , 22 January, 2009

My wonderful husband also infected me with HPV & GW, a year after he died. So, I was cheated on, infected and widowed-much more has happened other than this. I was with him 14 yrs I NEVER cheated, didn't think he would, last person I would ever suspect. Today I get to go to the 0bgyn to have them cut off and some burned off. I live with a constant reminder of this, and he's dead now. I trusted a friend with all of this, we had an argument-the first yr after all this, I was pretty depressed-evil me, anyway she now threatens to tell everyone about this and I know she already has to some. Due to his selfishness I will never be the same again. I will go on, but I am no longer myself. I don't trust anyone, after all, look what my husband and best friend did to me.

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written by sad mum of 2 , 24 January, 2009

I've been with my husband for 7 years now. Almost a year ago he walked out on me as we had not been getting on for a long time. A few days later I found out that he was seeing someone else. He said he had only just got with her (likely story)! We sorted things out and got back together a few weeks later but this girl kept ringing and pestering us. A few weeks later I then I found out I had contracted an STD. My husband swore blind that he had only ever kissed this girl her but I knew the medical evidence was right. I told him that he couldn't deny the proof but he still says to this day that he never slept with her. The thing is I know that he obviously did otherwise he wouldn't have contracted the STD in the first place. I've learned to live with the fact that he will never tell me the truth because I actually do love him. Our life with our 2 beautiful children is really good now and we have grown closer but I still have this thought on my mind a lot of the time. If he can lie about this he could lie about anything. Why do we allow ourselves to be treated like this?

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written by .... , 06 February, 2009

I have been with the same man for the last 12 years, since i was 15 years old. We got married 3 years ago after the both of us decided to become saved Christians. He cheated on me before when we were younger, but he was a changed man after he accepted Christ. We went without sex for 2 years before getting married because we wanted a "fresh" start. I became pregnant in July but have several bleeding episodes, doctors advised against sex because my husband is very endowed and I can have a miscarriage. Well now I am 7 months pregnant and just found out I have contracted Trick and Herpes. 4 months ago in October 1st all test were negative, now I have a disease I can't get rid of. Thing is we only had sex twice since Oct 1st, because of the bleeding and the advisement of the doctors. So basically I caught these disease on Oct22, or Nov15. I am so hurt, disgraced and ashamed. I never cheated always been loyal to him. why me? He denied the cheating at first. But then I called his mother and told her. After she talked to him, he broke down in tears. He felt ashamed in front of his mother, but not me. In fact he acted like he was upset with me for several days because I didn't want to comfort him! He told me that he was having an affair with some woman from is previous job. The woman has 5 children by different men, that is a signal to wear a condom right there! He said she looked "clean" and have her tubes tied, that's why he didn't use a condom with her.
I am scared that my baby will be affected by all of this. everyone thinks we have the perfect marriage. But its all a lie. His mother even told me that her son is a good man, and if I don't want him, some other woman will and I need to work it out. What!?!?!?!

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written by Confused_12 , 23 February, 2009

Ladies I understand the issue at hand I've been with my guy for 8 yrs on and off 2 yrs ag I found out he gave me an STD I asked him about it he said no we weren't together at the time and the STD could be transmitted via skin contact so not necessarily say he didn't use a condom I'm the only person he "raw dogs" however I got to the dr a few days ago to my luck...it's back I ask him about he says that when I told him 2 years ago he thought I was lieing so he never got treated!!!! Now I have PID as well!!!however just to let you all know when u get tested for STD by your dr they only test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV you have to request to get tested for everything else so when I told him about trich 2 yes ago n he went to get tested n came back negative it's because drs don't test u for it unless u show symptoms and many men are asymptomatic.. Just a thought

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written by saddened , 06 March, 2009

My husband recently confessed to me that he struggled with homosexuality during college. I have known him since I was 13, I am 23 now. We have been in some type of relationship since I was 15. I am a Christian, and so is he. After much prayer over the past 6 months, God has been giving me that nagging gut wrenching feeling. You know ladies, the one that we all know, and hate to get. After much pressure he finally confess that he'd struggled with homosexuality during college. He says that they are only thoughts, but I don't believe him. I moved out the following weekend. We just got married a few years ago. His family is mad at me because they feel I am abandoning their son. They too say he is a good man, and I believed them. My family and I believe the health risk is too great to stay in the marriage. Sadly, I filed for a divorce. I'm pretty depressed because I really love him, but I don't want him to destroy me. He says he didn't tell me because he repressed it and thought he'd overcome it. I don't know what else he repressed. Am I wrong for leaving?

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written by Madder than hell at Husband! , 25 March, 2009

I've been married less than two years to a Narcissistic POS! While in Florida where we live, I started getting ill, he immediately pushes me to "visit" family out west. Approx. 3 days later, he e-mails that he's divorcing me. My marriage was full of emotional, physical and psychological abuse and I wanted out for over a year but listened to my folks and tried to "work it out". I went to an OBGYN the other day due to all the pain and the obvious and it's all bad news. I don't have just one I have a few and I'm still getting tested for more! This man claims to be religious, holds a gov job, and yes, is handsome as hell but I've found out so much on him, it's sickening! I recently learned he was suppose to marry another woman only 2 weeks before me! It's like he'd been shopping and putting us on the side to see which one he could pick from and I was the unlucky one! Everything he ever told me was a lie. I even fond out that he cheated on his previous wife he was divorced from 5 years earlier! He's been flying all over the place, throughout the US, Canada and others looking for "wives" and obviously "trying them out" while visiting them. I can only image what all my tests will be.

My divorce attorney states that I now have a tort case against him for damages, pain and suffering and you can bet that I am going to fillet him! He told me he stayed in the marriage to take my business from me, he has no idea who he has messed with!

I blame myself for jumping into this marriage too fast but I blame him for being such a pig and scumbag! I for one will not take this lying down and I plan on fighting him the whole way and I will teach him a lesson!

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written by bitter in texas , 08 April, 2009

.... my "wonderful" husband ... cheated on me... But I found out because we were trying to conceive our 2nd child and I went in for a pap and a pregnancy test, and the only thing that came back positive was CHLAMYDIA ( SP) he lied and lied until i pulled out the proof, then he told me it was a one night stand.. which I could care less about. This happened 2 days ago.. I AM A BITTER BITCH right now, and Need to know what are the stages I am about to go through. and we have a 3 year old daughter to make it even harder.

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written by very bitter in texas , 21 May, 2009

My husband and I had been married going on six years. In sept 2005 I noticed I was having a discharge and odor. I went to the Dr. and she asked me if I wanted to get tested for std's. I was like, I don't really need to but if you want to that was fine ( was totally confident that I had nothing to worry about) YEAH RIGHT.
i ALSO WAS CONSIDERING HAVING ANOTHER BABY AT THE TIME AND WENT TO GET CHECKED OUT. SO I DID THE TEST AND WENT HOME NOT THINKING ANYTHING OF IT. WELL, ON SEPT. 21 0R 22,2005 I WAS AT WORK GETTING READY TO EVACUATE DUE TO HURRICANE RITA I GOT A CALL AND WAS TOLD I HAD CLYMIDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS DEVASTATED AND IN DENIAL.DO YOU KNOW THAT SOB KEPT DENYING IT AND EVEN GOT PISSED AT THE DOCTOR WHO DIAGNOSED ME. FINALLY HE ADMITTED HE DID IT. THE SAD THING IS, I HAD TO EVACUATE W/ THIS SOB. I AM STILL W/ MY HUSBAND TODAY FOR MY CHILD SAKE. IT IS NOT HIS FAULT HIS DADDY IS F@#$** UP. AND HE WOULD BE DEVASTATED IF ME AND HIS DADDY WERE NOT IN THE SAME HOUSE. I AM SO SAD AND EMPTY. JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE COULD HURT EVEN POSSIBLY KILL (YES I SAID KILL, IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, A MAN WITH A PENIS IS A DEADLY WEAPON.) YOUR LIFE COULD BE OVER JUST LIKE THAT AND YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG

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written by no name , 07 July, 2009

My boyfriend and I have been together two years and his ex wife told him after three years of not being with her she has HPV. Anyway I went to the doctor and I had an abnormal pap and they told me I have HPV. I so insulted my boyfriend answered I did not give you anything you probably got it from your ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile his ex-wife told us two months age she had it. MY pap test last year was normal but I was with him only six months then. The doctor told me it may have not shown up because I was not with him long enough. My boyfriend is made at me and he thinks his ex wife has nothing and she is innocent one. I have been clean all my life and I am a 44 year old woman I am about to tell him to get lost! help what does someone think

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written by JJ_sad , 20 July, 2009

I'm on of those many husbands that have cheated and brought an STD on my pregnant wife, I'm extremely remorseful and I don't find a way to accept to my wife that I've deceived her, lied and cheated on her, I don't want to lose her, and I'm afraid that telling the truth will end up in divorce, she is the most beautiful and perfect woman on this planet and she doesn't deserve this. I really wish I was better and could change my stupid cave man habits, it could be that there's someone better for her that will treat her like the flower she is. My only hope is that she will forgive me, if she doesn't I won't promise but I will be the man that she deserves.

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written by Pissed Off , 28 July, 2009

Short version:

I went to the Dr.on Friday to get a check up and decided to have the entire scope of std tests done just because I've always been diligent about doing so. Boom! The lady comes back and gave me 4 pills to swallow and an envelope with 4 additional pills for later that day. She told me I had trich and possibly chlamydia (results are pending). I had a freaking panic attack on the way home and was chocking back vomit from the 4 pills (zithromax) that I had choked down on an empty stomach. I called my fiance whom I've been with for 3 years home from the grocery store and told him what happened and he immediately scheduled an exam for himself- I have never cheated on him and I'm 100% sure he's been faithful to me. He was examined yesterday and was diagnosed with NGU - no trich or chlamydia! So now we're both confused and looking at each other sideways! WTF? The info sheets that they gave us all listed the same causes/risk factors/symptoms - but is it possible that trich can lay dormant in men? I made sure to get tested twice after my last boyfriend- who I broke up with about 1 1/2 years before I met my current guy. I always make sure to establish these checkpoints and show paperwork so that there are no questions going into a new relationship-- but look at what happened anyway. Learn from me- if you're not making your guy get tested as well, it doesn't really matter how well you take care of yourself!!

The worst part of it all is the sickening despair and betrayal that us as women feel when we find out that we have been deceived in the worst way-- and can't really talk about it to anyone we care about because of the shame and embarrassment! Since Friday, I've been coasting between complete hilarity (joking about it every time we speak)and full on rage (contemplating driving his car into the river). I after the initial shock was over I said that I was gonna move forward and not let this stop me, but I'm SO glad I found this forum because I was ready to print a batch of fliers and pass them out around the neighborhood!

Anyway, I'm thinking he must have passed it on to me a while ago as I have remained asymptomatic- but what about him- why didn't it show in his results? Am I crazy or am I being humped by a diseased ghost in my sleep or should I pull out the knife that my dad gave me for my birthday and keep him from infecting anyone else?

Oh btw, don't be alarmed if your pee turns red- it's from the antibiotics and it clears up in a few days...yep the good doc forgot to pass that little pearl of wisdom on to me! Once I picked myself up off of the floor and mopped up the spilled pee, everything was A-ok! LOL

Best Wishes Ladies! Wow, that's not really appropriate but you know what I mean!

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written by EA , 30 July, 2009

I found out last wk that I have an STD. I'm 150% sure I've been faithful therefore, I know he hasn't. he didn't deny it, which is the least he could do, but claims it was a 1-night-stand last fall when he went to visit his mother. I don't know if I believe him though. I've always had that gut-wrenching feeling that he was cheating, too bad I couldn't have found a girl's # or something like that....NOOOOO.... I had to find out through the department of health... So painful & embarrassing. We've had infertility issues & were getting ready for IVF after 6 yrs of trying, now not only has he brutally beat up our relationship he also possibly destroyed the possibility of ever beign parents. I do think I want a divorce b/c now I'm scared he'll give me another STD, but I also still love him. I don't know what to do. There are sooo many things going through my mind. Wish everyone else good luck.

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written by So Disillusioned, Sad, Full of Rage , 06 August, 2009

I have been married for 23 years. In January, 2009 I had a PAP smear and it came back that I had been "exposed" to HPV. I didn't understand and thought that I had it and was going to get cancer. I didn't even know it was a sexually transmitted degree (and I have a doctorate degree). When I asked my husband if he was fooling around and I told him that I had been exposed to the disease, he denied everything and asked me when did I think he had time to fool around. He then suggested maybe I was fooling around. Three months later, I was going over the bills to do a loan mod and I found all of these porno charges and hotel bills on his bank statements. Long story short, he admitted that he had been having an affair for over a year with some illegal alien bimbo that he met at the DMV (he is an engineer)I guess as long as it has two you-know-whats and a P**** that is all that matters to these men. They will F*** anything. After a week of crying, sleepless nights and hating him, I forgave him. He promised me that he had never slept with anyone else and that the affair had been over with months before. Well, one month later I found out (when she emailed him on his blackberry) that he had also been with at least two prostitutes and he had sex with the DMV whore two days before I discovered the bank statements. That means he went back to her to have sex, even after he knew that he had exposed me to HPV. These men are sick. Don't believe that BS about laying dormant. If your PAPs are negative and then suddenly positive, your scumbag husband is cheating. I NEVER NEVER thought mine was a cheater. He was living a double life. Mine would not even tell the truth when confronted with it. He had no remorse WHATSOEVER until he was caught and told divorce was imminent. I now believe that no man can be monogamous. It is not in their nature. The women who believe their husbands aren't cheating just haven't found out about it yet.

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written by Im pissed off too , 20 August, 2009

@ Pissed Off: Girl we sound like twins! I had the same exact thing happen to me. I went in for a std panel and BOOM it came back positive for trich AND chlamydia. Of course my wonderful fiance denied it initially but that a**hole finally fessed up. To top things off he went to the doctor's on Monday and the test results came back positive for chlamydia and negative for trich. WTF? How the hell did he only test positive for one and not the other. I told him he needs to take his a** back for a second opinion because that shady doctor of his evidentally didn't know what the hell he was doing when he took the sample. I am totally confused because I have been completely faithful to him. This sucks. I feel better that I found this forum so I know I'm not alone. It's just so hard to deal with knowing that someone you love could do something like this to you. It hurts and it stinks. I'm so sorry for everyone that has had to go through this. Wish you ladies well and hopefully we will never have to go through this again.

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written by Kindred Spirit , 22 August, 2009

I've gone through the same thing. I'm a Lab Tech. I'm the one who processes samples submitted for STD analysis. I do know that Trich is harder to detect in men than in women.

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written by Diva B , 27 August, 2009

Thank you for sharing and helping me get through my own ordeal. My husband is in the Marines, but stationed at a school in VA. (geographically separated at the moment). I found out he has been cheating on me while there -- not only with fellow students, but people he met over the internet, and yes, you guessed it, swears up and down he hasn't messed around! I found out via our credit card that he had an STD test this week. So, if he's so innocent, then why the need for a test, and not tell me????!!! To protect myself, I, in turn, went in to get a test. The most humiliating experience for a married woman (married 13 years) and since I have never been with anyone else but him, I know if the test results come back positive tomorrow, he gave it to me.

I managed to call the testing center myself and get HIS results today. His Herpes test is "inconclusive" and he needs to be retested. So far, everything else is negative, but waiting on syphilis and Gonorrhea. I have to wait to find out mine before confronting him. But I can tell you, I'm sure he has it -- due to a "bump" I found on my vagina two months ago.

The gut-kicker is WHY they don't fess up and tell us?? I feel so betrayed, abused, made to feel like a fool. I despise the fact that he thinks I'm stupid and that I don't know what he's up to.

I resent that he placed my life and health at risk. And the fact that he lives a double life -- being a Sunday School teacher on the weekend and so-called doting husband while here on the weekends -- but living the "single, swinging" life while in VA.

I know I'm "preaching to the choir" to all of you, but its a relief to know I'm not the only one suffering with an SOB of a husband. I'm saddened how this will affect our children -- as he's supposed to be their role model.

Yes, I'm bitter and have a long way to go to get that trust back.

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written by A woman who believed too much until... , 29 August, 2009

My story is just like the one from above so I just cut and pasted her story. The only exceptions are I have a high strain of HPV and all the DNA numbers are cancerous, I was married for 30 years, it was not perfect, and my kids, daughter and son, who are adults were right on the money they warned me he was a narcissistic man who only wanted to satisfy his needs. They have no contact with their dad because he hurt them by being a big bully while they were going up. My kids are my idols and great supports for me. I am blessed with that in my life.

My ex husband lied until his last day in our home. He told me he didn't tell me the truth because he didn't want to hurt me. I guess having the man that you have been with for 30 years giving you a STD in not considered hurting me. It was all for him and too bad it took me to get sick to realize it has to be for me now.
Copied post from above-
(Married for 29 years, just recently diagnosed with the worst strain of HPV there is which causes cervical cancer. Please research this. I didn't know. I have cervical cancer thanks to my loving, cheating husband. I had no idea he was cheating. We have a nice house, he is respected, we have beautiful, accomplished daughters, we HAD the perfect marriage. He has now sentenced me to death. HPV does not lie dormant in the body for 29 years. He picked it up during the last two years. I tested positive for a low grade strain three years ago... the kind that resolves itself. This strain kills you. No one in the world is aware of how dangerous this STD is. I don't understand.)

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written by Apol , 30 August, 2009

I feel really sad to all of you reading your stories.
You all deserve to be treated better than you have been and us Women should support each other more, talk more and educate those that dont know about these issues.
We are stronger than men anyway thats why we live longer

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written by Makino , 03 September, 2009

Wow! I'm so happy that I found this site. I don't know what I'm going to do. My mind is in total disarray. My story is very similar to everybody. My husband and I have been together for 11 years and have been having problem for the past few years. A year ago he wanted to be separated and do his own things but still want to live in the same house as I am. Like I fool I was, who really loves him, I agreed that thinking maybe we need some space and needs to heal because of the years of hurting each other. We get along fine and do stuff like a regular family. He travels a lot. Although I told him that I will agree with our set up as long as there's no third party involve or another word, NO CHEATING! He agreed and mentioned that it's not his priority right now. Abd I believe him. We still have sex all the time because I love him, and wanting to prove to him that our marriage will work out. Little that I know when he came back from his recent trip he would give me something. I thought I was just a UTi and went to my obgyn. I found out that I was tested positive for chlamydia! I never had sex with anyone other than him. He's the only person i had sex with, and I have an STD. One of my reasons is having sex with him bec. I think I'll be safe. Too bad...he's the one who gave me an STD. Now I'm confused. Because he said he's sorry and wants to be with me and doesn't want to let me go. I don't know what to do. I love him still but I'm confused. I always tell myself that if he cheated, then I'll leave him. But I didn't. Then he if I was tested positive for an STD I'll definitely leave him. But since it's positive and admitted that he messed around with one of his trips with a prostitute, I want to leave. But he said he's sorry and really a changed man. And I want to forgive him. But my gut feeling is just RUN! Help.

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written by Pissed Off , 19 September, 2009

Hi Makino!

I know it's hard to deal with, and I'd never tell someone who I don't know to leave their relationship, but if you're going to stay with him you HAVE to use protection. Just make sure you're mentally prepared going in to this situation because the ball is definitely in your court. Be careful though, because men sometimes have a sneaky way of invalidating your feelings and making you feel guilty for some of the dumb shit that they do! Tell him that if he wants to be with you, then he should make every effort to regain your trust- and tell him specifically what it is that you need to regain that trust.

As far as sex goes, I'd be very careful. We sometimes try to find ways to forgive a cheating spouse when it is discovered that he has a woman on the side. And I know that cheating is cheating, but for him to lay down with a PROSTITUTE and expose you to potentially deadly diseases is unacceptable. In this case forgive and forget could cost you your life. Be very careful about the decisions you make now that the trust has been broken. Often times men think that your forgiveness makes it okay to jump out there again. My advice to you would be to draw the line and decide just how much you're willing to put up with. At this point it's no longer about him. Think about your well being and your children. We spend so much time stressing about these dumb guys that we forget to take care of ourselves. We become angry women who neglect those who are most important because we're so focused on fixing a relationship that is beyond repair. No matter what you decide, I think counseling could help. Sometimes having a neutral party to talk to can help you put things in perspective. I wish you all the best!!! I'm thinking it's time for me to change my screen name!!

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written by Pregnant and pissed , 29 September, 2009

I just found out today that my husband gave me either chlamydia or gonorrhea (the tests are still pending). He confessed when I returned home from the doctors and told him her thoughts. When I told my dr that he went to the dr and was prescribed Doxy, she said "oh that's not good." How embarrassing! He was funny this morning because he was telling me all about how the STDs can lay dormant for years. Reading through this blog, I see that is very common among cheating men. I am pissed because I have a 15 month old and am 4 months pregnant. Both of these diseases can cause harm to an unborn child. He tells me he contracted the STD by getting a blow job while I was away. Do not really believe that is all he got but who cares now, it is over and done with. I just feel bad for my son and my unborn child. Definitely not taking that scumbag back

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written by SB3ZZY , 05 October, 2009

Hey I just found out today that my husband of 9 months has an STD. I am not sure how to take it and he has had to long before we got married. I never knew of it today and I have never cheated on him. But I am worried now that if I do have it that I will not know what to do. I love my husband but I am not sure that after this I can see myself staying with him. It hurts a lot to know that I trusted him and he not tell me. And what makes it so bad we are both in the military and there is no telling how many girls that he has really been with before me or when I was here working in Korea. I need help what should I do?

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written by Justdiagnosed , 14 October, 2009

Yea I'm a male and after reading some of your stories I just want to say how sorry I am to hear them but anyways I don't know anything about trich never even heard about it until now but I do know about hpv because I've recently been diagnosed with genital warts ladies what you need to know is that hpv can lay dormant for 29 years some people can go their entire lifetime without having symptoms or a single out brake. Hpv is the most common STD in the united states, and there is no cure for the disease a healthy immune system may be able to fight off the virus on it's own. I have been diagnosed with genitals warts after not having sex for nearly two years. I shared my news with my girlfriend and we are both taking protective measures to ensure that I don't spread the disease to her. I love my girlfriend so much and would not be able to live with myself if she were to get cervical cancer. Genital warts are manageable and there are many treatments for it. Although the warts can be removed your skin will still harbor the virus meaning that there's a chance the warts can return, and there's also the possibility that you'll live the rest of your life without another outbreak or no outbreak at all. Ladies if you doc tells you you have hpv do some research before you go making accusations. Again the virus can lay dormant for years even a lifetime. I hope this helps

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written by was PiSsEd OfF... , 05 November, 2009

My boyfriend of 5 years exposed me to chlamydia while I was 4 months pregnancy with his child. When I went to the doctor to have the normal STD test ran while I was pregnant, I was so sure that everything was fine. I was at work, when I received the call that the doctor wanted the number to a pharmacy...my response was what for...then the lady told me that I had tested positive for chlamydia. I called the nasty f&#^er,and of course he denied it...that he has never cheated. I told him what it was and he was unaware of the disease, so i told him to ask one of the nurses that are in his family(auntie)....well he had it...i tried to kill his a**.

My thought process at the time was he had no respect for me and my body, and our unborn child..and even after all the I love You crying, I had no love for him.

I put him out and we have had no contact...I just recently found out that he has contracted another STD of different form. I am just glad that I no longer deal with him.

Point I am trying to make is if your faithful man is able to bring you a curable disease, he is still exposing you to one that has no cure. (HPV, HIV,AIDS) and even to lead to death all over some minutes of unprotected sex. Think about yourself. I know it is hard, trust me I know after years invested but love yourself more. Especially if you have kids to raise.

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written by Am I married to a cheater? , 12 November, 2009

I found out about a month ago I had an abnormal pap smear. I just had a colscopy and found out I was HPV positive. I have been married for 19 years and been exclusive to my husband for 21 years. I have never had an abnormal pap and have three children with him. The Dr.'s office called yesterday and told me my biopsy results were high risk and I need to have the LEEP procedure done. I'm having a really hard time accepting this and really feel my husband has cheated on me, but of course he insists he didn't. What are the chances of this being dormant for over 20 years? I don't think it's possible! Any input would be appreciated, because my gut feeling is he's cheated on me and I have so much anxiety and want to get to the bottom of this nightmare!

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written by FeelinGuilty , 01 December, 2009

I feel so bad for all of you. I am not a wife, but I am a woman who has been seeing a married man for 4 yrs. It took almost a year to find out he was married and then his wife was off with family for almost the whole time of our relationship so we spent a lot of time together. I had been seeing other men on and off because i was tryin to break away from him. I just found out yesterday I have an std and I didnt want to tell him cause he would be mad but i forced myself to not because of him but for his family. He went and took care of it last nite, but i sit here in wonder what, if anything, he told hos wife. I honestly dont see him saying anything to her and that is messed up in so many ways, but who knows maybe he did tell her some lie and i really hope she is dumb enough to believe it or believe that it was a one time thing because it wasnt. WE had more than just a one niter, he just told me sunday that he was obsessing and dreaming about me because i refused to talk to him for 2 wks. That is not the kind of man she thinks is her living husband. So my advice to you ladies is this, no matter how many kids u have, no matter how long u been together, leave him, ur health, physically and emotionally is not worth it. Yes kids should be a priority in life, but they are not who comes first, YOU are!! If you arent fully happy and healthy how can u provide a good life for your kids? I had a mother who stayed with a cheating husband for the sake of us kids and i truly wish she had done what was best for her life instead of ours, kids get over things, her life has been wasted, 25 yrs she blew to know end up cold and alone when she could have made another life. so sad. Think of you and only you and dont ever believe a cheater will change, they are just good liars.

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written by Sadden , 07 January, 2010

I myself am like many of you. I have been in (I thought) a monogamous relationship for almost a year. I started having complications, so i decided to go to my OBGYN for a checkup. Little did i know that I would tested positive for an STD (trich). I have been totally faithful to this man although I always had doubts about him. As of today, I guess now know the truth!!!!

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written by ps , 11 January, 2010

hi everybody.......well i understand how everyone feels. i have a 4 month old baby with my boyfriend. just found out he gave me chlamydia. this is the most hurt i have ever been. he says he is sorry and how much he loves me and wants us to work it out but i see it as he put me and my child in danger. how could he do this???i dont know if or how to forgive him...

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written by loveinu , 12 January, 2010

Feelingguilty... I'm disgusted with women like you. Takes a certain woman to go after a married man. I feel sorry for women like you who look at life the way you do. My hubby cheated on me with a woman like you; now I have an std. I didn't do anything and don't deserve this! I was also pregnant at the time he was fooling around with a fool! Break it off... adultery is no good an only ends up bad!

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written by victory , 20 January, 2010

I am at such a crossroad in my life and I have no idea how to handle this awful situation.Yesterday I found out I have trichinosis. This is second time I have had an STI and the second time my husband has promised on his childrens life he has never been unfaithful to me. We have been together 22 years and been married 16. The first STI was three years ago, after feeling dreadful for several weeks and having a strange and peculiar rash on my hands and feet the doctor diagnosed me having syphilis. My world fell apart as I have never been unfaithful and have only ever had sexual contact with my husband. Obviously he was screened and found to have it too!!! Not such a surprise. He promised he never had been unfaithful and I told him I could never completely believed him. For the sake of our children I put that all behind us telling him if I ever found out he was unfaithful that would be the end of our marriage. I thought our relationship was something special and now I feel its a complete sham and based upon complete lies. I am so angry with myself for believing him. And now here I sit with a second STI, surely it can't be coincidence. How am I ever going to find out the truth?

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written by HPV virus , 26 January, 2010

I noticed a comment up above.. she said her husband had cheated on her.. and the HPV virus and science proved it..
That might NOT be the Case.
Because the process of transforming normal cervical cells into cancerous ones is slow, cancer occurs in people who have been infected with HPV for a long time, usually over a decade or more (persistent infection).

Some HPV virus.. men and women are born with.. so it maybe have been clearing up.. but if you just kept having sex with your husband and not letting it clear.. you two were probably just passing it back and forth.

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written by HPV virus , 26 January, 2010

sorry.. correction.. only ones born with it.. are the ones with mothers infected.. you may see warts around the eyes.. and such..

But my main point was about the length of time that cancer cells develop. . .

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written by Billie , 31 January, 2010

I'm glad I finally found a place to talk about my feelings. I married my EX-HUSBAND Aug. 28 1980, I was 23 years old, a virgin. I had never even let a guy get to second base with me, I was waiting to have sex with whoever I married, it was so important to me to save myself. I knew he had sex before we married, but in 1980, I'd never heard of a STD. Four months after marrying him, I had a bad pap test and had to go thru painful freeze procedure because I had developed abnormal cervix cells. It only took 4 months for me to develop HPV and fight for my life. Dr's didn't even know that much about HPV all those years ago. I'm still alive but it has caused all kinds of physical problems for me. Now 53 years old, I've developed Lichen Scleroses which is caused by HPV and is very painful. Dr. thinks it may have turned into Vulva or perineal cancer, waiting for the results of that. So the SOB ex-husband gave me a life sentence of this pain and agony and no children, but he went on to marry a woman 12 years younger than him and have a child. There are times when I resent him so much and I find myself wishing bad things would happen to him.

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written by Wild Ride , 09 February, 2010

I just stumbled on this site and I'm floored at all the married women going through this sort of thing. Myself included. I've been married for 7 years and from all outward appearances we appeared to be the picture perfect family. We had only recently moved to Texas and purchased a home in 2007. I thought our marriage was great, my husband wasn't a partier so there wasn't any obvious signs of any infidelity. However I did notice he had been frequenting porn sites and I found some porn DVD's stashed. I didn't confront him about it because I always thought that it was normal for men to watch porn and I thought that it was harmless - boy was I wrong. In late August of 2009 I had a smelly discharge so I made an appointment with my OB-GYN. Of course I thought maybe I had a bacterial infection or something of that sort, not an STD. My husband didn't show any outward concerns either and concurred my thoughts. The day of my appointment, I was FLOORED to have my doctor come in and tell me "yes you do have a bacterial infection but you also have Trich". I'm saying to myself "what the hell, I'm 40 years old, STD's are something you get when you have multiple partners not when you're married with children".

I immediately phoned my husband and gave him a piece of my mind. I was so freakin' angry. Good thing my Dr's appt. was late in the afternoon that I didn't have to return to work. Good thing for my husband that he works the night shift and would be gone by the time I came home. I was LIVID! Of course as I'm screaming at him through the phone, he's speechless and constantly saying that he hadn't cheated on me, he doesn't understand. The next day I called in to work because I was going to get to the bottom of this sh*t. Here I am having to take this medication and have a follow up visit for something that I didn't cause, something that one would expect to happen to a 20 something year old single permisquious female. I told my husband he needed to make an appointment with his Dr. which he did and came home saying, "I don't have nothing, see my results, I told you". I called my OB-GYN who said that my husband needed to see a Urologist. I found one and made him an appt. He came back with a prescription and admitted that he had Trich and then admitted to having a three-night stand with some miscellaneous female whom he met in a barbershop.

Anyway, I could go on and on about the details and the slow partial admissions that came week after week, little by little. After 7 doses and 7 office visits, I was finally cleared of that awful nasty Trich. The weeks that passed since my initial diagnosis were long talks, arguments, prayer and demands for the full fledged truth. I went through half truths, partial admissions, etc. for the first few weeks. Finally the bombshell was dropped by him 1 month later - he admitted that he had also tested positive for HSV1 & HSV2 by the Urologist.

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written by Wild Ride , 09 February, 2010

After 6 months of long arduous conversations the full disclosure was revealed. He met this tramp at a barbershop he used to visit, she started conversing with him whenever she would come by with her son. He was heavy into the porn, felt like I was distant and did not need him, he fell for her advances. They would meet up during the day and go get a motel room to screw. He used a condom however when she performed Oral on him, he didn't. This was going on nearly half of 2008 until the barbershop closed down. Then he started visiting a barbershop closer to our home and sometime in the summer of 2009 he's coming out and she appears and strikes up a conversation. Of course he's still into his porn and here she is showing him all this attention, he falls once again for the bait. They meet up later that week and then again in August. The last encounter, is when I believe he contracted the Trich because he admitted that the last time they had sex, the condom came off just as he was about to "you know" and that he kept going. The Herpes however I believe was contracted through all the other encounters since my Dr. said it can be transmitted by skin to skin contact. I fortunately have not tested positive for the HSV1 or HSV2. What's really unfortunate about the situation is that after their last encounter, she told him that she was moving to another part of Texas with her boyfriend/child's father. Yes she had a significant other as well. Throughout this sex-ca-pade they never exchanged phone numbers, he didn't even know her last name, she didn't even know his REAL name, they didn't know where the other lived/resided, TOTALLY INSANE. I told him, you're an idiot because this sleaze probably knew she had Herpes and when the condom came off, she got nervous and came up with some bogus story of "moving" to justify never coming around anymore because you might soon find out. She probably knew she had the Trich also and was probably being treated for it which is why her vagina didn't smell during intercourse, but she probably knew that she wasn't supposed to be having sex.

Anyway, we are still together and it I have my moments but one thing that this experience has taught me is that God is good. Although I thought our marriage was great and wonderful, it really wasn't because I was so caught up in my career and the children that I did forget about him. I was so caught up in achieving the American Dream that God was not a focal point of our marriage nor the household. I was always on the hustle for more and more and not realizing that the most important thing in life is God and family. We have grown to learn a lot about each other these past 6 months. There's a lot that he's come to learn about himself as well and it wasn't a pretty site to look at neither for himself or for me, but it was who he was, what he had been through and his mentality that caused him to involve himself with someone outside of our marriage. He was so twisted that he had formed this thought that I didn't love him, that I didn't need him, etc. These ideals were so far from the truth, although I have to admit sometimes my words and reactions can lead one to believe that. We both came to realize also that porn can be a devastating addiction and that it should in know way have any place in a marriage. I as well as he thought it was harmless but after all of our long conversations and discussions, I've come to realize that there's a timeline that went from occasional viewing, to frequent viewing, to excessive viewing (which I was unaware of - another one of his admissions). He had opened himself up to an unrealistic view of sex and what it was supposed to be. So along comes Ms. Sex-A-Holic and shows him some interest, and he's flattered. Little Miss tells him what she would like to do to him and he's nose wide open. So my husband is now in day 46 of an online porn course which he loves. I'm still up and down but confident that through prayer and keeping God first, we will prevail and grow old together - at least I hope. However if it's not meant to be then so be it, I'm okay with that. I've learned a lot about myself and I'm making strides and efforts to become a better person for me and my children. For now he's along for the ride and should he choose to jump off the train, then so be it, I'm still moving forward.

To all the other women I wish you luck and I understand your pain. We must stand strong and take care nothing for granted and not allow anyone to destroy who you are as a person.

I'll be back to check on others' and comment if necessary. Sorry for such a long post but this site brought something out of me and I just had to share my story.

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written by hurtwife , 13 February, 2010

My husband of 13.5 years confessed to me that he began cheating with prostitutes after he got back from Iraq in 2008. He had to tell me because he contracted gonorrhea. He told me he didn't consider it cheating because he didn't have any emotional attachment. It is crazy how men justify things. He swore that all of the blood test results were fine. He claimed that he was clear of everything else. I told him that I didn't believe him and was going to be tested for everything. After many tears, I went to the doctor 3 days later & requested STD tests.

Turns out that I didn't have gonorrhea. But my blood test showed exposure to HSV (herpes). I am angry and hurt. I have been COMPLETELY faithful to him and have not been with another man since 1994.

My husband was away with the military when I told him about my test results. His comment was, "they didn't tell me that I had that". He tried to convince me that I may have already had it. I flew into a rage. I have been pregnant five times BY HIM. I haven't been with anyone else almost 16 years. I have been tested for STDs several times with each pregnancy. Before we got married, I was tested for everything.

I HATE him! I don't believe anything that he says anymore. Thank God I tested negative for everything else. I will NEVER be intimate with him again. I don't trust him. I think he is disgusting. He is a pervert. He had started watching an unusually huge amount of porn and then I found a tape he had made of women's butts. I simply do not desire him anymore.

He went to the doctor & had a blood test. He did have herpes. I believe that he has known he had it. That is why he was so insistent that his blood test were "normal". He didn't want me to find out that he may have transmitted it to me.

Our kids adore their father but I hate him. It is amazing how thin the line is between love & hate. I have done NOTHING to deserve this. It was his own selfish needs & desires as well as his addiction to pornography. I told him that he needs Jesus and a good counselor for his sexual addiction.

My mother in law has tried to convince me to work things out with him because "he loves you". He does not LOVE me. I loved him; therefore, I have never jeopardized his health by being unfaithful to him. Men think that they are the only ones with sexual needs. I wasn't getting my emotional or sexual needs met but I stayed faithful and just tried to work things out. I didn't just think of myself. I thought of him & our family. That's the difference between me & him. I put our needs above my own. He didn't. Now, I have to forever deal with his selfish, stupid decision.

NOW he doesn't want to lose me or our family. I have let him know that he has already lost me. His children will always be his children because they need both of us. I will never interfere with his relationship with his kids. We, however, are through. He can't ever touch me. He wants nasty, skanky, trashy looking women and he can have them. He is now free to do whatever he wants to do with whomever he wants to do it with. I deserve more than what he can give me...Lies, deceit, and disease. I vowed for better or worse. I didn't vow to be a fool.