|
Getting over an affair as the other woman |
I need advice on how to get over an affair I had with a married man. We were friends first and then our friendship got to close and we crossed the line. I tried to stop, but I guess not hard enough. I don't know much about his marriage but he never talked about leaving and I really never expected it. In fact, I pushed it out of my head that he was really even married, we worked together so we saw each other everyday and outside of work we saw each other about 2 to 3 times a week.
After about a year and a half his wife became suspicious and we had to cut down, then I left my job and we saw each other less, now because his wife is really suspicious and they are getting strange phone calls as am I, we can’t see each other at all. I am so screwed up over this whole thing and have been for years, because I always said I would never get involved with a married man. I have been torn apart by feelings of hating myself and him, and loving, and missing him. My mental health and physical health are being affected. I don't know what to do because I don't know what to believe from him anymore, I think he may be seeing someone else. I feel like a lost my best friend, because we used to talk a lot and confide in each other. What should I do?
Response:
The end of any close relationship, even an illicit relationship, can be devastating. The end of an intimate relationship creates a tremendous sense of loss, insecurity, and confusion (see, romantic attachments).
So, our best advice is to talk to a counselor during this time to help you move beyond this experience. Simply having someone to confide in helps people cope with their emotional pain.
And it is probably in your best interest not to have any contact with him, even if the possibility arises. Having any contact with him will only prolong the misery for everyone involved.
|
Subscribe to this comment's feed
I have been in a relationship with a M/M for over 6 years now.(correction, not a relationship, he was never really into it with me) Same story as most, I was previously married, marriage had problems, my husband cheated, left me alone for 1 whole year with my two year old, then, as I tried to keep my life together and move on, met men who seemed to be God sent. He fed me the same usual lines, not happily married, mis-understood, etc. So after 6 years of me investing, Total Love and Devotion, Undenying trust, Commitment, Care and Consideration, countless hours of work, all my professional ability and full commitment to growing his enterprise, not to mention over $300K of my own money as we were business partners, I am faced today with the fact that hes wife wants to talk to me about my affair with her husband, that I, after reading all these posting, completely understand that I will have to walk away without anything, that I will loose my house, my car, and not to mention my sons, 1 from my first marriage, and the son I had with my so called partner in crime!, will, as hard as I my try to overcome this, will have a mother that is left empty, trying to find strength to pick-up the pieces, to forgive herself, to forget the shame of having had this hidden life, the lying, the many unmet needs that come with involving myself with a person that is emotionally unavailable because he will not allow himself to betray his wife and family, yes, he's body has betrayed her hundreds of times with not only me but many, many other woman that both his wife and I know about, woman we toasted with. At the end of the day, He could sleep around with thousands, but the woman he committed to over 20 years ago, he is still committed to today, and will be till death do them part. She is his true partner, his true friend, the mother of his first born son and in his heart and mind, the only one entitled to his unwaivering commitment, love, compassion and care. He protects her, has her on a pedestal, and no